For our anniversary, I made and served a nice dinner, with light provided by Amazon.

She always loves Kindle-lit dinners!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Who does Apple call on to provide testimony in court?

An iWitness

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackoMabreda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Santa have to provide health insurance for his workers?

They’re technically Elf employed

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrymmTravel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Thank you for getting me through college, student loan providers.

I don't think I can ever repay you.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
would provide energy for sure
πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?

I nominate all of your passengers for the ice bucket challenge.

Joke provided by my 13 y/o daughter

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.

I really hope he eats his words.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fordskis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.

I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?

Band aid.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OhTheComedy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fortune teller that provides his services for free?

A not-for-prophet

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A national coin shortage must provide some much needed relief for people who don’t like change.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeepinmama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid

They give us Nickelback

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquireX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they don’t have to be put down.

He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/srirachase
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
He can provide you with fresh prints.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know what is used to provide vision at night at school playgrounds?

Recessed lighting!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas.

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...

Mo-roccan.

This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sneakymooseattack
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Thank you God for providing me and my family with these instant noodles for supper.

Ramen.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DiscoPotato69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Glasses make driving safer..

Provided that they're worn instead of emptied.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ddodd69
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the name of the largest cell service provider for alien life forms?

ET&T

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Youwantfuckame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What cell service provider do track stars use?

Sprint

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/funnydeadpool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on my mobile and the feed shut off.

I got a text from my mobile provider saying I’d exceeded my monthly Data allowance.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
This quarantine has provided me the perfect opportunity to start a yacht making company in my attic...

Sails are through the roof!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/void_burglar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A KING WHO PROVIDES FREE ELECTRICITY TO HIS KINGDOM...

IS AN AMPERERER

πŸ‘︎ 230
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSwastik
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What was the cell phone provider's baby's first word ?

DA TA

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't think my friend's MacGyver-ed flashlight contraption would work until he provided a detailed description.

It was very illuminating.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Our local pet store provides quality puns.
πŸ‘︎ 332
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconPancake84
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Fun Fact For The Day...

When Alan Turing was cracking codes during WW2, his sister Kay was providing drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Scotland has made the decision to provide free sanitary products.

I would have predicted a trial period.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a baby look something up?

They "Goo Goo" it.

[This joke provided courtesy of my seven-year old.]

πŸ‘︎ 474
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eggsaladapologist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
These guys provide custom 'pens'
πŸ‘︎ 449
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeFire
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about the cows that provided milk for the Roman Army?

You totally should. It's legion-dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alficles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Talking about cellphone providers
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/falcorbeam
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
🚨︎ report
Kid: "Dad! Who's our internet service provider?"

Dad: "I am."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Percussion:

It provides the beat to every-ting!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeskiePete
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a three legged dalmation who provides free internet.

A wireless hop-spot.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ManChildMusician
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is a pretty unsuccessful farmer. But he tries a lot to promote his business on social media by providing a new profile picture every 3 months. Unfortunately the picture always seems to have his head or side chopped off a bit.

Another season, another bad crop.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Eddy Grant has started a very profitable energy provider for homes

Have you seen his Electric Revenue?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m working for a charity that provides support for elderly grapes

My job is in raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andi-amo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A new disease is sweeping the world. It's a type of nostril infection, very costly to test for

But one man, born with extra sensitive smelling, has been providing free exams to the public to eradicate this new threat. Dr. Theodore Nose of UCH Hospital has a long line of patients waiting every morning, wanting the incredible accuracy of this man.

And as his secretary says...

No one's nose knows noses like Nose's nose knows noses.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRichTookItAll
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked: β€œWhat else could the management provide β€” that might have prevented you from leaving?”

I wrote β€œBirth control.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going to provide my local bank with a loan

but they had 0 interest

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OverKast78
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The man and the silver screw.

There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.

The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jj8o8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the phone provider where you can order hot drinks?

Tea-mobile

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Syabero
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife wanted me to be there for her operation to provide "moral support"

I told her she should probably talk to a priest instead.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/perry-d-astor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend can't pronounce his Rs, so his butler stopped providing him with red wine.

Serves him white.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas..

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guycelium
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.