Principality Puns

The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."

"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.

The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

...the jerk had me charged; assault with a breadly weapon.

He said it has to be stopped, it's a matter of principal

Jacinda home.

I then changed into a suit and tie and came in and said "so, tell me why you're here today..."

Homeschool is tough work....

Rolling back 40 yrs or so, here's the story I told to my 2nd grade class.

To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found. Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole out. Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes. Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.

And when an Elephant comes to take a Pea, you kick him in the Ash-Hole!

Everyone about died. Hell, even the teacher and principal were laughing about it. Dad was amused. Mom was not.

The student replies, “No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.”

He said a square word

Parents: Arson?

Principal: Yes, your son.

She wants to quit while she's a head.

He was caught using fowl language.

(I came up with this, but I'm sure it's been done before)

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

So I guess you could say I’m the dickhead.

"Mr. Smith, if you want to keep your job as the grammar teacher, you need to start teaching the ENTIRE alphabet."

Because its eeleagle.

Snowballs

I can also tell when they're standing.

EDIT: from https://jokeriot.com

He mint well.

They have lost my interest

Will Smith's property (150 acres) is larger than Vatican City (110 acres). Therefore, if he were to do so, it would not be the smallest country.

That day would be known as independence day.

The country would be a Fresh Principality.

Now it's just beer.

My friends and I were arm wrestling at lunch, we get around 3 matches in when our vice principal came in and told us we had to stop. We ask why and I say it's because we're not allowed to be armed at school. The vice principal walks away and my friends laugh their asses off. Today was a good day.

They get taller!

After all you had to make sure the kids didn't sacrifice their principals.

So this just happened.

My dad walked into my room, said "So you think you can take on your old man," doing an exaggerated impression of a bad lip sync, threw a toy throwing star at me, and left. I have no further explanation.

A bridge went to bridge school and did something wrong, he was called into the principals office, the principal then said "you're suspended"

He said: "Dont you know in every principal there's a pal"

Finance was his principal interest.

Me- I meet an interesting person the other day

Her- Oh, ok?

Me- Turns out he runs a school

Her- Not too interesting so far...

Me- Yeah, but it's a school for protons, neutrons and electrons

Her- umm, sorry, what?

Me- Yeah, but it's the Principal of the matter, you see?

eyeroll intensifies

"Now you're out standing in the principal's office."

My wife leaves a ton of hairs in the bathtub and forgets to pick them up. I call her on it.

Her: "well, you're in the bathroom now, pick them up."

Me: "no. You always do it. It's the principal of it."

Her: "no it's not the principal 'cause they haven't gone to school."

ಠ_ಠ i couldn't stoo laughing for about 5 minutes.

So I guess you could say Im the dickhead

I guess you could said I'm the dickhead

Me- I meet an interesting person the other day

Her- Oh, ok?

Me- Turns out he runs a school

Her- Not too interesting so far...

Me- But it's a school for protons, neutrons and electrons

Her- umm, sorry, what?

Me- Yeah, but it's the Principal of the matter, you see?

eyeroll intensifies