Prick (slang) Puns

Here is all the penis slang I could find, courtesy of the internet

1. A

2. Ace in the hole

3. Acorn Andy

4. Action Jackson

5. Adam Halfpint

6. Admiral Winky

7. African black snake

8. Afro man

9. AIDS baster

10. AIDS grenade, The

11. Alabama blacksnake

12. Albino cave dweller

13. All-day sucker

14. Anaconda

15. Anal impaler

16. Anal intruder

17. Anal Spear

18. Ankle spanker

19. Apple-headed monster

20. Ass blaster

21. Ass pirate

22. Ass wedge

23. Astralgod

24. Auger-headed gut wrench

25. B

26. Ba-donk-a-donk

27. Baby maker

28. Baby's arm holding an apple

29. Baby's arm in a boxing glove

30. Bacon bazooker

31. Bacon rod

32. Badboy

33. Bagpipe

34. Bald Avenger, The

35. Bald butler

36. Bald-headed beauty

37. Bald-headed giggle stick

38. Bald-headed hermit

39. Bald-headed Jesus

40. Bald-headed yogurt slinger

41. Baldy-headed spunk-juice dispenser

42. Ball buddy

43. Baloney pony

44. Banana

45. Bat and balls

46. Battering ram

47. Bayonet

48. Bavarian Beefstick

49. Beard splitter

50. Bearded burglar

51. Beastus maximus

52. Beaver buster

53. Beaver Cleaver

54. Bed snake

55. Beef baton

56. Beef bayonet

57. Beef belt buckle

58. Beef bugle

59. Beef bus

60. Beef missile

61. Beef soldier

62. Beef stick

63. Beefy McManstick

64. Bell rope

65. Belly stick

66. Best leg of three

67. (Big) Beanpole

68. Big Dick & the twins

69. Big Dickus

70. Big Jake the ene-eyed snake

71. Big Jim and the Twins

72. Big Johnson

73. Big Lebowski

74. Big number one

75. Big Mac

76. Big red

77. Big rod

78. Big Uncle

79. Biggus Dickus

80. Bilbo Baggins

81. Bishop, The

82. Bishop with his nice red hat

83. Bitch blaster

84. Bitch stick

85. Bits and pieces

86. Blind butler

87. Blind snake

88. Blood blunt

89. Blood slug

90. Blood sword

91. Blow pop

92. Blowtorch

93. Blue steel

94. Blue-veined jackhammer

95. Blue-veined junket pumper

96. Blue-veined piccolo

97. Blue-veined puss chucker

98. Blue-veiner

99. Blunt

100. Bob

101. Bob Dole

102. Bob Johnson

103. Bobo

104. Bone

105. Bone phone

106. Bone rollercoaster

107. Boneless beef

108. Boneless fish

109. Boner

110. Boney cannelloni

111. Bone-her

112. Bop gun

113. Bottle rocket

114. Bow-legged swamp donkey

115. Box buster

116. Boybrush

117. Bradford and the pair

118. Bratwurst

119. Breakfast burrito

120. Breakfast wood

121. Broom

122. Brutus

123. Bubba

124. Bulbulous big-knob

125. Bumtickler

126. Bush beater

127. Bush rusher

128. Bushwhacker

129. Buster Hymen

130. Buster McThunderstick

131. Butt blaster

132. Butt pirate

133. Butter churn

134. Butt

Yes, the same old guy.

Our rogue just died in a quite crazy way. We just found his body, and there is still time to revivify him. However, I spent all my spell slots fighting, and didn't have enough to cast that spell.

Our paladin got a revivify scroll for free some time ago. He had never mentioned it before to us. And now he wants me to pay over 1000 gp to use it (he can't use it, btw)... And on top of that, he is saying he will raise the price the more we take to decide.

Obs: now he is saying he became an atheist Obs 2: now he is saying we should pay to use his horse

They have to be on the current roster, so don't say Ruggs.

Like in Norway they have the expression that something can be “totally Texas”. And in Finnish “going to Nevada”, and Danish “top dollar”. I wonder if you even have something like that yourself.

We've got a lot of the same old questions floating around because we have a lot of new apes around. They're excited and enthusiastic, but I keep seeing folks saying shit like "this is old info" and "have you not been paying attention?"
You wanna kill a movement? Make sure no one wants to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with your miserable ass.
If the questions and high-energy these beautiful baby apes are getting to you, well... Fuck off somewhere else. This isn't your old-men-drinking-coffee lounge. This is a place of learning and community. You don't own a fucking thing about this movement.
Help the lil apes be as wrinkled as you! Don't be like the bastards that stared this saga and pull the ladder up behind you. And for the new apes... Yeah, please read the DD.
Anywho, ooga booga, stay hairy, NFA

I find myself saying "pert near" on the regular in conversations where I'm not trying to quote the show, and "Fuck a Duck" has long been part of my lexicon.

What about y'all?

I really like Wuhan Juice because it stays true to the roots of the Chinese corruption throughout the whole pLandemic.

But, honestly the Covid Koolaid sounds a little more fun and casual.

I know #clotshot is one that trended recently and sounds good in a sentence.

#FauciOuchie because Fauci is obviously daddy. ✝

Let me now what you guys use.

i have been looking for a larger car for the family. the auto sales process is not new to me, so i knew exactly what to expect. but i still wonder why do i need to be an figurative or literal asshole to salespeople to get what i want from them?

back in the summer, the used/new car shortage was already apparent. and subaru had called me about buying back my low mileage 2019 subaru forester (halfway through its lease). it's a great car, but we actually were just thinking of a larger one (unbeknownst to subaru).
so we went to look at a subaru ascent in september. i told them that we can't deviate much more than our current $425/month lease. their offer in september was $530/month for ascent with a $19,000 residual value trade-in on the forester. with the little thing called google, i already knew that a privately sold forester would go for $28-$30k.

i decided to be human with the dealership, and said hey, i know you have to make a profit, but why don't you take my forester for $24k AND i'll buy and ascent on the spot (because the numbers would have worked for me). but the dealership didn't budge on the numbers, so we left.

this week i've asked them to give me an early buyout price (written in the contract, they have to do it). i'll just buy the car, sell it privately, and use the $10k difference to make the numbers work on a honda pilot.

of course now, seeing that i'm not joking, the subaru dealership quickly made a counter offer for an ascent at $402/month - basically what i was asking for. but too late of course.

so my question again - i could have been a prick, walked in there in september and bullied my way to the price i want by threatening the early buyout and that i would walk to any other car dealershi[. but why do i need to act like that?

there was a post here not long ago about switching cellphone plans - it's the same damn thing. why do i need to act like an ass, and pompously switch over to a different provider, only so the previous one can come running back after me, with an exact offer that i was asking for?

I saw a Misseed in Sunday School meme tonight that quotes Packer from a 1982 book called "That All May Be Edified". Reading the quote I knew I had to hunt that book down. Here is another excerpt from the same chapter Missed in Sunday School quoted from:

"Honoring Priesthood: The activity of your husband in the priesthood will be largely dependent upon you. We accord to you, sister, the power to make a leader of your husband, and a woman should know that with the poorest of raw material, with the most ordinary of men, she can build a leader, if she will.

You should know, sister, that your husband will likely be called into positions of leadership. Let us suppose that next year he is called into the bishopric of your ward. It is Wednesday night and you were going forty miles to another city to visit with your mother. Your sister whom you had not seen for several years was coming from out of town and the three of you were going to have a lovely evening together. Then the phone rings. It is the bishop on the phone. The president has called, there is a special bishopric's meeting tonight. Your husband comes home. "Are you ready to go?" he says. "I've changed my mind. I'm not going tonight. The bishop called and there is a special bishopric's meeting." You will see him put his hand down on the table with real emphasis and say in a solemn declaration, "Well, I'm not going to go." You say, "Oh, yes, honey. Yes, you are." You will smile and get his meal on the table, fuss around him a little bit, encourage him, and get him in the car and off to the meeting, and then you will go in the bedroom and cry. You should know that if you let that one tear slip down your cheek, or if you look just a little cross, or if you let your disappointment show, on many occasions when it may well show, you will incline him away from his duty and obligation to the priesthood toward you.”

My grandma (70f) has recently picked up on common acronyms and slang and now uses it 24/7. She'll be talking about anything and randomly say "LOL" or "L-M-A-O" or "and THATS my 13th reason" or "It's because I'm an alpha" she probably picked it up from watching tiktoks with my sister and she thinks it's the coolest thing ever.

Everyone thinks she's amazing and hilarious for it but really she just looks dumb. One day she was talking to me and I ask her something and she says "M-Y-O-B" and I'm like what the hell does that mean, and she says "mind-your-own-business". I got such second hand embarrassment from that and told her to stop trying to be cool because it makes her look utterly stupid. She seemed kind of heartbroken after and stopped using it, I sort of feel bad but at the same time at least she doesn't look like an idiot anymore, idk?

I know about the common ones like aiyoh walao lah and fuiyoh but idk any others

And this rant goes out to the cunt that lives down the road.

I like going on runs on the weekends, it’s fun and healthy and all that good stuff. The only problem is Mr. Fucking Kelly down the road. He has a big fuck off sign on his gate saying “BEWARE GUARD DOGS” and leaves the gate right next to it swinging WIDE FUCKING OPEN. DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM.

Every time I pass that house this fucking colossal black and white Great Dane comes bounding out, head down, teeth bared and barking and snarling his fucking lungs out. I have literally run an entire 6KM and STILL had that BIG FAT CUNT chasing me, biting at me fucking ankles. He also owns a chihuahua that comes out and barks at ye when the big fucker isn’t there, but in all fairness to the chihuahua he backs up if you give him a good glare.

But I swear to fucking god if I meet that fat hairy bollocks of a dog one more time I’ll feckin gut him.

So, to all the people who own big dogs, guard dogs or generally aggressive dogs, don’t be mr Kelly. Close the fuckin gate. Leash the fucker. And bring him inside to fuck, you mean auld bollocks.

It’s really funny how the character who always has every opportunity given to them in every season still manages to fuck it up cause he thinks he’s some genius.

He might be book smart but he’s a moron in every other way and he never sticks up for his family.

Hell the whole “I’m selling your house” thing was kinda messed up. At least he cares enough about his new family to screw over his old one I guess

Especially in how he treats Fiona. God forbid she make a single mistake ever cause if so Lip comes in like “ehhhh FiOnA yOu sUcK reeeeeee”

Anyway, needed to get that out, I just don’t think I liked this character at any point and I needed to vent

My wife and I made the very difficult decision to just spend the holidays season home, alone with out 6 month old. My wife's sister, mom and her have a group chat and ever since we made that announcement nobody's bothered to say anything to us. Not so much as a Merry Christmas or happy holidays. Meanwhile the family Snapchat group is blowing up so we know they're on their phones.

It bummed my wife out and put a shadow over our Christmas and probably this whole week. Despite the fact that we're just doing what we think is best and safest for the only baby in the new generation of the family.

Edit: I developed HFM. Should have seen the in-law fam and passed this on to them. That would have changed their tune!

Edit: Y’all are getting very rude in the comments section with the word ‘riot’. I specifically said “FOR ME”, your experiences are NOT universal. I have never heard it in my life before. In the words of Pete Campbell, buzz off.

I’m closing the comments because it’s literally a repetition of the same comment.

I’ve met a lot of preds or high ranking players in this game and played with them and a lot of them just seem so unhappy with their lives. You can’t even have a proper normal conversation without them trying to school you or one up themselves during a fight or on skill.

It’s really arrogant and as much as I wish I could climb that high of a rank. I just can’t respect the kind of people who are just so entitled to think they’re so much better than you because of their rank.

Y’all gotta lighten up and stop taking this game so personally. A lot of you preds or masters are just assholes. If you can’t enjoy this game anymore then just stop playing.

I was 30 min away from getting home after a 10hr road trip when some fucking idiot in a white pickup truck decided that going twice the speed limit was a good idea while weaving through traffic. He pulled into the slow lane, over corrected to dodge a car, and ended up going into the ditch upside down only 200m ahead of me. Now, instead of having an amazing Saturday with my fiancé after a long trip away, I threw up making breakfast because the sight of bacon reminded me of the image of yellow-white fat inside the guys dismembered arm.

I don’t even know your name but fuck you! You selfish ignorant fuck. I’m glad the only person you killed was yourself but you left a mess for everyone else to clean up. Me and everyone else who stopped to try and save your ass had to see what a disassembled human being looks like in person. How the fuck are we supposed to un-see something like that???

This experience has honestly made me amazed at how first responders handle this stuff day in, day out. I can’t imagine what it is like to encounter this stuff on a daily basis.

Hit me with your favorite slang

I like saying “mig per kig” for mg/kg