More than 1 000 pieces of music by Johann Sebastian Bach have been preserved,

along with nearly 900 by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, nearly 400 by Johann Christian Bach, more than 300 by Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and nearly 200 by Wilhelm Friedemann Bach.

Together with as many as 200 more surviving compositions by other members of the Bach dynasty, scholars estimate that about 3 000 works are preserved in total, a collection that we today know as the Baroque Bach mountain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetaEd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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Gatorade should run some kind of charity promotion where they raise funds to help preserve endangered species of alligator.

Gator-aid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funkbuster_G
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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I named my spotify playlist β€œfruit preserves”

cuz its a jam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Comsicwastaken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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I was recently burgled. They took my life preserver, my AED and my portable oxygen tank.

It was my entire life savings,

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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I like to advertise my homemade fruit preserves at clubs.

Whenever a song comes on, I’ll hold up a jar and say, β€œThis is my jam!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Not the greatest,brought out a chuckle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AM10_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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What are junk foods political beliefs?

Preservative

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πŸ‘€︎ u/portriprov
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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We preserve objects very well these days.

Soon, artefacts may just become a thing of the past.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artifcial_autism
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Did you hear about the musician making a song about preserves?

He says it's his currant jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObjectionPW
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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This joke is worth preserving
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arbitrary_Bastion
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Sticky situation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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I spent all day preserving the fruit of my garden. You could say it was a jam packed day.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Creditcard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Why does fruit not like preserving ?

The process is jarring

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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I preserved this for you guys
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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You know, not everyone can preserve perishable goods inside metallic containers

But I can!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thattransgal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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My good friend drowned while at the beach last month. I tearfully placed a life preserver on his coffin at the funeral.

It's what he would've wanted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogue-_-robot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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I don’t understand people who preserve four leaf clovers...

They’re really pressing their luck.

Edit: Thank you very much for the unexpected medal!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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I got fruit preserves on my finger.

Doctor said it was jammed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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I sometimes gets startled when I make preserves

Its jarring

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesaurususaurus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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What did the bachelorette say to the DJ who was trying to steal her strawberry preserves?

"This is my jam!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SomaYoga
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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TIL that Cards Against Humanity joked that they could buy an island with the money they donate to charity, so they bought an island in Maine to preserve wildlife. They named it β€˜Hawaii 2’ because β€œit’s on the Maine land.” connecticut.cbslocal.com/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Spicy_Tuna69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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How do you preserve a baby sheep?

With laminate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lost_if_found
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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Heard the song about preserved strawberries?

It's my jam these days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb_ravenclaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Did you hear the new song created using only jars of preserves?

It's a slow jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Infinite_one
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Food preservers do it when they can
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πŸ‘€︎ u/who_body
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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My friend was like, I didn't know you were into preserving fruit

And I was like yeah, that's totally my jam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ehtBlackberry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Raspberry preserves

That's my jam.

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πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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In the middle of the battle, I decided to use a knife to preserve my ammo…

All the other paintball players started freaking out though…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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I live in the old city of Pompeii

I suppose you could say my life is in ruins

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFirstBobEver
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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90s Eurodance group Technotronic recently bought a factory that manufactures all types of fruit preserves

However, there was an issue with getting the preserves into the packaging phase as the manufacturing plant was downstairs and the bottling machinery was upstairs.

After carefully reviewing the process, the group settled on a solution.

They decided to Pump Up The Jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlduinIsAGeordie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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My wife asked me to remove the lid from a jar of preserves. I tried but...

It was jammed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigfoot13442
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
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What do you use to preserve a dead animal you don't really care about?

Casualdehyde

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ask-a-physicist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
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Found an old box of Tic Tacs under the bed from 1997 and I amazed at how well preserved they were.

They were in mint condition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NegativePrimitive
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
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I think it would be awesome to own a store where I sold home made jellies, jams, and preserves.

Someone would ask me for a recommendation. Then I'd grab a jar from a shelf and say "This one right here is my jam."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spunkychickpea
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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What do you call a store that sells fruit preserves?

A jellycatessen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Master_of_Few
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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I'm going to crush and preserve some strawberries with the Red Hot Chili Peppers later on today...

We're having a jam session.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2016
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This is nuts!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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Hey kids, I am going to name every coral reef in the ocean 'Keanu!"

That way they will be preserved, because everyone loves Keanu reeves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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I've been perserving some jokes over the past few years.

I call it canned laughter.

EDIT: Whoops I meant to type preserving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pumpnog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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I enjoy canning fruit.

Food preservation is my jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xtowers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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We had an IDEA...

Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.

The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...

ahem...

Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.

Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.

Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.

The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.

That's the theory, at least.

Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.

Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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Why can’t we keep information on bicycle pedals?

Because we don’t wants to preserve pedal files.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemDems44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Ex-wife died eating home-made jam.

I'd say she got what she preserved.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/codenamegary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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I was making my daughter a sandwich and asked her what kind she wanted...

"We can do peanut butter with either peach preserves or honey," I told her.

"Honey, please!"

"That's fine," I thought, "the peach preserves are my jam anyway."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LetsGetCrunchy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2017
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As a disabled dad, playing the guitar, being picked up for the gig....my son asks, β€œyou going to jam”

And I reply, β€œit’s more of a preserve, than a jam.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameItTrashIt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
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How do you preserve a sheep.....?

....you lamb-inate it....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
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I was recently burgled...

They took my life preserver, my AED and my portable oxygen tank.

It was my entire life savings.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanixATK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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