I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

The first lesson can be found here.

Public buildings

This is another famous category of epigraphs: Roman temples, triumphal arches, and even bridges proudly display big finely chiseled capitals that unfortunately modern tourists don’t understand—but you will!

Arches and temples were often built to honor a god or an emperor. As such they are dedications, and closely resemble funerary inscriptions. One can read on a famous Roman triumphal arch the following inscription (CIL 6, 945):

SENATUS
POPVLVSQVE·ROMANVS
DIVO·TITO·DIVI·VESPASIANI·F  
VESPASIANO·AVGVSTO

A map of Rome will of course indicate to whom the arch was dedicated, but it is easy to find out ourselves. Just like in tombstones, we should look at the dative: DIVO TITO VESPASIANO AVGVSTO. The problem is, both Vespasian and Titus had these praenomen and cognomen. This is where the embedded genitive DIVI VESPASIANI F will prove useful. The Titus Vespasianus of the arch dedication is the son (remember: F) of another Vespasianus who was also divus: emperors were most of the time deified after their death. It can only be the emperor we now know as Titus. This is the Arch of Titus.

SENATVS POPVLVSQUE ROMANVS, famously abbreviated as SQPR, is a nominative. There is no verb. It is implicit: they “did” it. They are the ones who erected the arch as a gift to Titus. In some inscriptions, the verbs is explicit: FEC(it), CVR(auit), RESTITVIT, DEDICAVIT, ORN(auit), RENOVAVIT, REPARAVIT, etc. and of course conjugates to -erunt if the subject is plural. Another frequent abbreviation is EX S C, for ex senatus consulto: (it was done) because a senatus consultum had been issued.

We will pause a little bit here. Although the example above is quite easy, dedications to emperors are sometimes very complex and will be the topic of a separated lesson. Emperors are often accompanied by their titles (Germanicus, Dacicus, Britannicus…) and their titles (Consul, Pater Patriae, Tribune…). This is why the inscriptions can be very long, but

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

So the men have some quiet time to think of the solution.

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved