Pluto always wanted to have a party for the outer gas giants…

... but he just couldn’t find time to planet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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What did Pluto say to Saturn while they were barbecuing steaks?

I bet mine is meteor than yours

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistaitaly420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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I'm like Pluto.

All my relationships end up plutonic and I don't even have to planet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gra8Balance
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...

Especially when I saw him in the cartoon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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Why was Pluto single?

All the other planets only wanted to have Plutonic relationships with him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmy2896
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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None of the planets in our solar system have shown interest in a relationship with Pluto

He's just too cold and distant.

Bonus punchline.. They just want a platonic friendship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxRings
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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My father, on New Horizon's flyby of Pluto

"The first close up images of Pluto are in......"

http://i.imgur.com/1BkwLcu.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinie_Snipah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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I'm going to name my kidney stone Pluto...

I finally got it out of my system.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hanismyhomie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
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At dinner my mum said Pluto has a lot of exciting things going on...

I told her it's usually more exciting when you don't planet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneDougUnderPar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
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There's a probe going to Pluto tomorrow ...

It would have arrived sooner, but it was too busy poking around Uranus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da___Michael
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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Company password

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacremento"

When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsAndIT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Now that was a good one
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleeeepy_Hollow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Hey Sun
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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If I had to rate our solar system

I'd give it 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 401
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pjacob77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Very funny haha
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why haven't Aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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What are all flat earthers afraid of?

The only thing they have to fear is SPHERE itself (say it out loud too)

Edit: for people downvoting because this is a β€œrepost”, I posted it the first time, took it down because a typo in the title, then posted it again

Edit2: misspelled typo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulOfCthulhu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Space party! imgur.com/Jw3o32B
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spahn711
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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Since 2006, there have been eight dwarves in the Disney canon - Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey, Doc...

... and now Pluto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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What's big, grey and doesn't matter?

An irrelephant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rtaylor65
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
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Dadjoked the fam fairly well this morning...

Mickey's Clubhouse is on. Mickey and friends walk up to Donald's door.

Mickey: "Hi Donald, Pluto told us to come over to your house!"

Me (Akroyd voice): "We're on a mission from Dog."

The groans echoed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KneeDeepThought
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
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My dad and I were out for steak last night when the manager came around and asked "How did you find your steak?"

Dad goes, "I just moved the potato and there it was!"

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueholeload
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?

He wanted to find Pluto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ginger_Waves
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pappajay2001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Back in my day...

Pluto was a planet and Saturn was a car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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How does NASA throw a party?

They planet!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeptil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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I used one of my dad's favorites on my friends today

We were walking up to one of their apartments, and heard her dog, Pluto, loudly barking. I asked them, "You think Pluto's home?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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