What ancient Egyptian pharaoh never farted?

King Toot-Uncommon

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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If I were an Egyptian pharaoh...

My name would be Tootsarecommon...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmfinfrock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?

They're both in bread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Highway-Amazing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?

Egypt his tooth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeburgs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?

King Tootsarecommon.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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The pharaoh of POP
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Why did the Pharaoh refuse to believe his son had drowned?

Because he was in The Nile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNocive
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Why didn't the pharaoh eat beans?

Because then he'd be Tootin'-khamun

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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What did Pharaoh say when he saw the pyramid?

Mummy's home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mougy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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I once saw an Egyptian pharaoh honk his horn and put his bum cheeks up to the window of his vehicle.

It was a toot and car moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?

Tooting’khamun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyBeast_Gaming
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Which pharaoh are you when you can’t pass gas?

Toot-uncommon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cambrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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What do drug addicts and pharaohs have in common?

De Nile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumnem
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Have your heard of the Flatulent Pharaoh? I am very fond of him.

We have the toot in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheelay_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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where does the pharaoh go when his back hurts

to the Cairopractor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeliverDaLiver
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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How did Pharaoh successfully enslave the Jews?

He created a pyramid scheme

Edit: spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Pharaoh tried to sell Amway to help offset the costs of his burial tomb.

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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If two pharaoh's farts sound the same...

Do they have a Tutankhamun?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t1ao_official
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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The pharaoh promised workers they would be rich if they bought into his MLM construction plan.

It was the very first pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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What did the two Pharaohs have when they farted simultaneously?

A toot in common!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slammykong
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2017
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All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
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The old egyptians used to bury their pharaohs in several layers of coffins

This is also known as multicasking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ancientmob
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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How did Pharaoh get the Jews to work for him for all this years?

He ran a pyramid scheme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What do you call a constipated pharaoh?

Tootnotcomin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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Did you know that Egyptian pharaohs all suffered from irritable bowels?

Or as they called it, toot in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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How did the pharaoh get so rich?

He was running a huge pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoNumeroJuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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Did you know Egyptian Pharaohs considered farting to be inappropriate?

That’s why the most famous Pharaoh was named Toot-uncommon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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Which Egyptian Pharaoh had the worst gas?

King Tootankhamun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haidret
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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You guys hear about the pharaoh that couldn’t believe he fell in the river

He was in da Nile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bendy150
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Did you hear about a gassy Egyptian pharaoh after a bowl of instant noodles?

He was Tootin’ ramen...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?

He rammed everything that he sees

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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Did you hear about the pharaoh who was very frightened?

He wanted his mummy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?

Tutan, come on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redundantimport
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Which Pharaoh was known for rarely farting?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elcium12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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What do you call a pharaoh who rarely farts?

Toot-uncommon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TinOfPop
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...

...Temple-pedic mattresses...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/code_engine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Why don't pharaohs tell dad jokes?

They're all mummies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyCarbonic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Why is a Pharaoh like a trumpet?

They have a toot in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ziggystarfist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
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What did pharaohs use to wipe?

Poo-pyrus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_white_jay_z
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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Tutankhamun must have been the least flatulent of the ancient pharaohs of Egypt.

Because his name is homophonous with "toot uncommon".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeneathYourSky
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
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Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?

A pee-ramid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m_elange
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.

I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MentalTrafficJam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
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Moses and the Pharaoh

A long, long time ago in Egypt the Israelites were held as slaves. One day the evil Pharaoh passed a decree that no Israelite could cut the grass outside their house.

The grass grew and grew, covering the houses and making it quite an ordeal for the Israelites to go to work in the morning, which put a bit of a strain on the old pyramid building that was all the rage at the time. But Pharaoh didn't care and the edict still stood. No Israelite could cut the grass outside their home.

Eventually the elders had had enough and called upon Moses, who had a bit of a rapport with Pharaoh, being brought up together and all that jazz.

"Moses, you must convince Pharaoh to see sense and let us remove the grass from outside our homes!" they implored.

Moses nodded, picked up his staff and sought an audience with Pharaoh.

In the royal chambers, Moses approached Pharaoh. "Yes, Moses? How can I help?" asked Pharaoh.

Moses stood tall, stared deep into Pharaoh's eyes, raised his staff aloft, cleared his throat and with a booming voice said, "Pharaoh! Let my people mow!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grubbymitts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...

they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?" The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smsirekcut
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2015
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Did you know they found chocolate in the tombs of the early Egyptians? It was found in the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbroderick
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2016
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All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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