I just learned the past tense of remove!

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Psst Psst! I know the past tense of remove

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiabloArya
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Past tense
πŸ‘︎ 233
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slushii21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Time puns - The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlphaAxel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense onelinefun.com
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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Q: What's the past tense of "break"?

A: Broke

Q: What do people do with cigars and cigarettes?

A: Smoke

Q: What do you call a funny story that's supposed to make someone laugh?

A: Joke

Q: What's the most popular brand of cola in the world?

A: Coke

Q: What do you call the white of an egg?

A: Yolk.

No, it's the albumen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eldormilon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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Today I learnt that humans eat more bananas than monkeys

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Werewolf hunter
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shulerbop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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What's new?

The past tense of snow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherrymacc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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There is one word spelled wrong in the dictionary.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Someone thought I was stupid and tried to explain what a sawhorse is

But I shut him down immediately because I'm well aware that it's the past tense of seahorse

Thanks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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My girlfriend wanted waffles but my car battery was dead...

I said we'd have to boost it if we wanted to go out for waffles, and she responded "Well of course we have to jump the car if we want to go to IHOP!"

She's a keeper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillSmithsBoobs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2016
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My English grammar teacher was having some marriage problems and it was really getting to him, so the whole class joined in to buy him a gift

After we bought him a simple present, he was past tense

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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Let me know if any of these make you laugh!
  1. What's a dentist's favorite time? Tooth-hurty!
  2. How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
  3. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
  4. The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. Wow, it was tense!
  5. All my lamps are gone... and I couldn't be more de-lighted!
  6. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  7. Chemists give the best advice, they've got all the solutions.
  8. A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”
  9. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
  10. I had to make these bad science jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Did any of them make you laugh? Don't tell me no pun in ten did!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrujaBean
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Some of My Favorites

What do you call two crows sitting on a branch? Attempted murder.

A photon walks into a hotel and goes to the desk to check in. The bellhop walks up and asks if he needs help with his luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."

The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Did you hear what happened to the man that was chilled to 0 degrees Kelvin? He was OK.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.

What do you call Batman when he leaves church early? Christian Bale

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zimxur
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Father: Homophone for "I"?

Son: Eye

Father: Synonym for "sweet potato"?

Son: Yam

Father: Synonym for "casserole"?

Son: Stew

Father: Four-letter word, past tense of "to urinate"?

Son: Peed

Father: Hi Stupid, I'm Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v310city
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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My sister said she felt so lousy yesterday, she stood in bed all day

I told her if she felt that bad, she should have laid down in bed all day.

Note: I have no idea if using "stood" for an irregular past tense of "stay" is a regional thing or what, but I've been hearing it my whole life. (I'm in Brooklyn.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2016
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How to get laid. A guide.

Steps:

  1. Lay on Bed

  2. Wait 2 hours

  3. Lay becomes past tense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/parin89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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Guys I found out what the past tense of remove is.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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I recently discovered what the past tense of Remove is

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you run in a campground?

You can only ran because it’s past tense.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sersi78
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
You can’t run through a campground...

You can only ran through a campground because it’s past tents. (tense)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bsoyka
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Tenses

The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KieranD9503
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
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Asked Siri to tell me a joke and this is what she said:

The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shnikez
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2015
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Got this one from my iphone today, I think siri may be a father

The past, present, and future walked into a bar, it was tense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frederickdiggory
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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Heard after skiing today.

Daughter: my muscles are all sore and tense.

Dad: yeah well, my muscles are past tense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaptinkangaroo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
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"Dad what tents do we have?"

"Past tense, present tense, future tense. Why?"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KellanDuke
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
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