Why are City Morgues always square?

It's because of all of the coroners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...

He re-Poe-ed them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Morgues
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cakeasdkjasdk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Did you know that if a morgue worker dies...

They still show up for work one last time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Why is the morgue the best place to work at a hospital?

They give you the coroner office.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonInNJ
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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I know a guy who works at the morgue.

He says it’s a dead end job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Guess who has 7 thumbs and just got fired from the morgue?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djfromthe90s
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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You know what I like about working at the morgue?

People are just dying to get in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xseiber
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Got home from my new job at the morgue. Wife asked how my first day was.

It was dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatMetalJesus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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My son told me that he wanted to get a job at our local morgue, but I had to say no.

I cant let him get a dead end job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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I met a lovely lady in the morgue yesterday

She had such sloughed hands

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I'm going to start a bar and call it "the Morgue"

It's a place where you can crack open a cold one with the boys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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Have you heard about the club down at the morgue?

People are dying to get in there. I would go, but I don't have the spine. I'll probably just end up feeling bonely.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tilmar19
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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So the morgue nearby claims to have the best facilities to take care of corpses after they're dead...

They must be right, as everybody is dying to get there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZSSDistortion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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How do you know that your local morgue might not be so great?

Well if they have a summer promotion that's a dead giveaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nliausacmmv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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Did you hear about the morgue employee who got cremated?

He fell asleep on the clock and got fired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justicarnage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
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Why did the weightlifter go to the morgue to get a corpse?

His specialty was the dead lift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cruzinspeed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
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Glass Coffins
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nefariousmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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I invented a new myth to delight my kids

There once was a greedy ore mining magnate who wished that everything he touched would turn into iron. He was careful to always wear gloves except when making huge loads of ore, except for one day when a mosquito landed on his knee. Not thinking, the magnate slapped his leg with his exposed hand. His knee immediately became metallic and the sudden change to his blood pressure caused almost instantaneous death.

Later in the morgue the Coroner noted that it was a classic example of situational iron knee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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Who is the coolest man in the hospital?

The ultrasound guy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonefly_C
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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I lost two things today. My virginity...

...and my job at the morgue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Answering the phone when he knows who it is

"City morgue! You stab 'em we slab 'em"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bioginger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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