I'm pretty sure close to 100% of teachers are armed... I mean, don't these people take basic human anatomy in high school? Arming teachers is a moot point.
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📅︎ Feb 26 2018
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If im ever sent to jail im going to rename myself Mitochondria

This is to let people know I'm the powerhouse of the cell

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👤︎ u/DaraghJohn
📅︎ Apr 25 2018
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Never buy anything with Velcro

They're a total rip off

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👤︎ u/jkcru
📅︎ Sep 16 2018
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Honey Story

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about each other. Her dog's name was Daisy. My truck's name was Dodge Ram (I apologized for my lack of creativity). She was a CPA. I was a beekeeper.

And at this, she stumbled. "If we ever meet in real-life, I want you to know that I could never date a beekeeper." But we were still far away from that point, so it was moot.

But time went on, and we gradually became closer to that point. More personal information. What firm she worked for. Where my farm was. Names of relatives. Names of high schools. All the things that just come up in conversation eventually if you talk to someone long enough.

But, oddly, after all this time, neither of us had thought to send any pictures. Until one day I got a message from her: "I never thought I'd say this, but I really do want to meet you in person. I think we have a rare connection, and I don't want to squander it. I want to send you my picture, and I want you to send me yours, but I'm telling you, I can never date a beekeeper."

I couldn't imagine a life without my bees. But I also couldn't imagine a life without her. Tentatively, reluctantly, I clicked on the image attached to her message.

Then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee leaver.

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📅︎ Jul 15 2018
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What do you call a congregation of German ducks?

An Ente-moot.

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📅︎ Jul 25 2017
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Why did Christopher Poole make 4chan?

Seems like a moot point.

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📅︎ Jan 16 2014
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What's a cow's favorite law school class?

MOOt court.

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👤︎ u/benofepmn
📅︎ Mar 18 2015
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