I am like a modern day Zeus....
I am not strong or godlike I am just constantly horny.
The founder of modern study.
What do you call the ancestors of the modern day scissors?
What's the modern way to donate to the church?
A man recently ran up to me announcing that he was a primary color, then instructed me to perform a modern dance trend on the fourth letter of the alphabet and food coloring.
He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".
Did you hear the Journal of Modern Medicine rejected an article about Midol?
The editor said it was not current at all, but more of a period piece!
A very young lemon strolled into an underground metro station, buying and enjoying a coffee, chatting with other fruits and eventually riding on a nice, modern train.
One could say it was a sub-lime experience.
The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
that was an ice-olated incident.
Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics.
His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.
What do you call a modern Indian restaurant?
My cat has opinions about Chinese history. I asked him who their best leader in modern history is:
What are your resolution going to be for the new year?
Still on 1080p? or upgraded to 4k already?
Modern problems require modern solutions.
A pirate is transported to modern day and stumbles upon a lumber mill while looking for work. When the pirate is asked if he knows how to use any of the tools...
Modern problems require Indian solutions
Did you know that ancient Greeks would shave their heads before the Olympics to run faster?
Modern historians call it balderdash.
There's a new rap artist who combines a modern hip hop sound with 80s retro pop.
I can only imagine the frustration behind the making of modern Looney Tunes shows.
There has to be a lot of Bugs in the programs they use.
While people are talking about the presidential election, I don't talk immediately, because...
I'm Biden my time, until I can play my Trump card.
Ted Talk -Ted Bundy- Unlocking Necrophilia and its implications in modern society.
Eventually, we’re all doomed to end up in super modern offices where the walls are whiteboards
The writing is on the wall
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife,"How do you spell Hawai'i?"
She replied, "You need two i’s."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isn’t it?"
My son said he wanted Modern Warfare for his birthday.
So I told him to try and get on an underground train during rush hour.
What do you call a wolf that has things figured out
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNQRSTUVWXYZ
If you came here looking for an OP, you got it.
What do you call a modern bee from America?
What do you call a Swede that doesn't like modern music?
Bjorn in the wrong generation.
To the person who stole my glasses
I will find you, I have contacts
My wife makes art by spending hours painting dots on a canvas to create shapes, she calls it modern art
Apparently modern feminism wants nothing to do with guys who are over six feet
Modern Joke
I want to get my buddy a good present but all I can find is a painting that has a prostitute saying, "1, 2, 3, 4..." and I don't think he'll like it, but my friend said, "It's the thot that counts".
A Modern Art Masterpiece.
How do you spot a modern spider?
Penn’s mom had three sisters who owned a pie shop...
Their menu was titled “The Pie Rates of Penn’s Aunts”.
How do modern Spartans cook fries?
Modern grammar Nazis: the alt-write
What do you call modern Scottish art?
Me telling a historian about modern day doorbells
Me: "Have you heard of modern doorbell chimes?"
Historian: "Doesn't ring a bell"
TIL Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.
This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.
Dad jokes are at all all-time high during quarantine times
Analysts say it's the worst pundemic ever recorded in modern history.
What do you call a Swede that doesn't like modern music?
Bjorn in the wrong generation.
What do you call a Swede that doesn't like modern music?
Bjorn in the wrong generation.
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