Mobile home Puns

Unstable.

RV?

Lets say you buy a mobile home and you renovate it to have more things in it and be a bit more up to date. You even add a phone system in case you lose your phone. Does that make it a Mobile Phone?

Mobile homes

Almost 10 years ago now when my daughter’s mom was pregnant with her—waddling miserably towards the tail-end of her third trimester and about ready to pop—she looked forlornly at her figure in the mirror one day and announced, “Omigod I’m as big as a house!”

And so I, the Rico Suave motherfucker that I am, popped my head up from the book I was reading on the bed and responded thusly without missing a beat:

“Well, baby girl, if you’re a house then you’re my dream home...”

I thought our relationship was my rock on which we would build one hundred stories, but there were termites in the foundation. Unfortunately she ultimately turned out to be a mobile home that couldn’t stay tethered to a single lot for more than a few years at a time as, a short time later, she up-and-skedaddled from our lives and has been a deadbeat mom to our little girl ever since. (My daughter and I built a beautiful, cozy little bungalow-for-two anyways.)

Anyway, does that qualify as a pun, or just an extended metaphor? If not, sorry, I just always thought that was a good line and I wanted to humble-brag a bit.

We've been teaching our 4 year old angel/terrorist daughter to use the phone so that in an emergency she'll be able to call me/SO/emergency services. I noticed when i got home yesterday that I had a missed call on my mobile phone from the land-line number, so I asked her: "Did you call me earlier?" Quick as a flash she replys: "No, I called you Dad!" My work here is done.

My parents and I are driving down the highway moving me to a new city. I have a lot of stuff, not enough to get a truck, yet too much for my car alone. My mom is leading in one car, my dad and I following in another. I see a wide load truck hauling a mobile home and tell my dad, "Look out for that house infront of us." His response...

"Oh please, your mother is not that fat"

I was left home to greet the trick or treaters, and give out the candy from the big black cauldron by the door.

"So I have a Cauldron of Duty." Groans

Proof: https://mobile.twitter.com/mrburkemath/status/660577373377703936

Friends came to visit with their newborn son, who later into the evening was restless and crying.

The dad says "It's because he's not home, with his toys; usually he gets calm with a mobile."

I show them my phone. "Here's one."

There was a pause, and they both facepalmed.