Allow me to give you a mino-taur.
It's Dan Bull
:(
He practices Cow-mouflage.
(I stole this joke from Sam Riegal.)
He wanted to amaze his wife.
He's really bull-headed.
They're bullheaded.
No! Well...I mean, only half the time.
He cows his enemies with bad jokes.
Supplies!
It's true, I saw it today and they were suuuuuuper busy! The waiting room was packed, and every time the orderly would come out to call in another patient, the half-man-half-horse would get all excited; "is it my turn now? oh, pick me, pick me!" and all that jazz. Of course, every time it was actually someone else's turn; the Kraken, or the Minotaur, or the Chupacabra. Eventually it seemed to get on the Satyr's nerves, because he yelled over "pipe down, Mike, we're all sick of you needing to be the Centaur of attention!"
...so he called in his court wizard to devise a means of defense. The wizard set to work at once. First, he wove a net, tightly so that nothing could escape. Then he traveled to the nearby lake.
For three days, he went to the edge of a dock, and cast his net into the water. Each time, he collected many small fish, until he had gathered thousands.
He then took the fish to his study, and carefully processed them, crushing them into a sticky paste. Warming the paste, he began to lather it across the walls of the maze.
When the king learned of this, he was very angry.
"How dare you cover my walls with fish paste!" he said.
The wizard replied, "But sire, everyone knows to protect a labyrinth, one must use a minnow tar."
A minotaur two.
So far, My team includes an orc, 2 elves, a dwarf and a Minotaur.
So, I don't if this is the appropriate place for this, but I need a boat-load of cow puns for a D&D campaign. Any all and jokes are both welcomed and needed.
They can be as subtle or as obvious or as cringey as you'd like.
Examples:
A slingshot built from straps set up between the pair of Minotaur horns. A Bullista, if you will.
A character named Timothy Jacobs (Timoothy Jacowbs)
There is a ritual among Minotaur where they fight over the best food served. This is called a Cudstody battle.
Thank you for your help!
Yesterday I was watching T.V. with my family when a commercial for the new Honda Fit came on. If you've never seen it, the basic gist is, people ask the main man "Will (blank) fit in?" Two minotaurs come on screen and ask and here's what happened:
Mom: I really doubt a Minotaur would fit.
Dad: Maybe they're Mini-taurs.
Groans were had by all.
For the second one I was texting a friend and she said:
Her: I think I have a problem. I've ate ham almost nonstop since that party. Now I'm really sad it's almost gone. I might be addicted.
Me: I guess you'll have to quit cold ham.
