I heard Ian McKellan, Ian McDiarmid, and Ian Holm are teaming up to defend the Milky Way.

They’re calling themselves the Guard-Ians of the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Breathtaking view of the milky way from mars
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhiIipp1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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As soon as space travel is possible, I’m moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way galaxy

I’m galactose intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillowyWave5228
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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You organize it... the milky way :)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaeboomering
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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Rare photograph of The Milky Way viewed from Mars
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cliffter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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A rare photo of the Milky way viewed from Mars.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHappiePlayer1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Cross section of the Milky Way
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaykirsch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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What’s it called when your allergic to the Milky Way?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blessedathiest
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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How can people that are lactose intolerant survive in our Milky Way Galaxy? reddit.com/r/shittyasksci…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ragu7080
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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Why didn't the moon eat a Milky Way bar after eating a Mars bar?

Because it was full.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qerlangley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Wife and I were looking to buy some posters of the milky way for my study...

Her: these star maps are pretty good!

Me: yep. You could say they're... stellar cartography.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
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"Gee, I've always wanted to see the Milky Way Galaxy-" "Um, I can't go to the Milky Way Galaxy... I'm lactose intolerant."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Princess_Ember
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
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What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?

Milky way

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brady01234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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My lactose intolerant friend need to leave this galaxy.

Cause its 'Milky'-way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rairishu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Did you hear about the fight in the biscuit tin?

The bandit hit the penguin over the head with a club, tied him to a wagon wheel with a blue ribbon, and made his breakaway in a taxi, escaping along the rocky road to mars, the milky way, and the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadgerEatCheese
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Butterfingers and M&Ms are okay...

... but Mars Bars and Milky Way are out of this world!

(Not a great joke, but I've found its good for a few Snickers)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrFurball
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Why did the lactose-intolerant leave this galaxy?

They are allergic to the milky way

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πŸ‘€︎ u/le_petit_nihilist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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I drilled a hole in the middle of a candy bar...

I guess a black hole is in the center of the Milky Way

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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Dad's puns compilation

For the record, my dad didn't say any of these. Also, they get kind of weird near the end.

My vacuum sucks, or, rather, doesn't suck.

That drawing looks sketchy. Something about it looks... shady.

Lightbulb is a smart guy. Some might even say he's bright.

"Mmm, cheesy" he says as he takes the macaroni out of the oven.

When entering a planetarium, my father mentioned how he'd like some cookies with his Milky Way.

Oreolas = cookie nipples (Couldn't really think of a way to set this one up that didn't make it even more awkward.)

"Underwear? Under there?" My dad mentioned as he put his pants away.

Edit: If you've any others, share them in the comments!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JB_Big_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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