What do meth heads leave on your voicemail?

Meth-ages

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating

or just mething around?

👍︎ 8k
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Most people have 32 teeth and some have 6, it's simple meth.
👍︎ 78
💬︎
👤︎ u/bot_10
📅︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Labrador Retriever trained to smell for meth?

A Meth Lab.

👍︎ 82
💬︎
👤︎ u/Radish00
📅︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking bad was just another critical meth movement.
👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Olfaktorio
📅︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm not addicted to meth

I only ever use it when I get anxious and start to shake

👍︎ 11
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
If a person smokes too much meth and goes on a killing spree because of it...

...there would be a meth-od behind his madness.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
"I have an idea, lets buy a skyscraper, and turn it into a huge meth factory!" said Jessie.

"That's illegal on so many levels!" replied Walter.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/xevetv
📅︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A meth addict tried to shoot me with a sniper rifle.

He was a real crack shot!

👍︎ 161
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 26 2016
🚨︎ report
A method actor who takes a role of a drug addict is a Meth O.D. actor
👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a singer selling meth?

Bob Dealin.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The difference between Meth and Coke...

Is a fine line.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm sick and tired of people referring to meth users as tweakers.

The politically correct term is Methican Americans.

Sorry if it's been posted before, my dad actually told me this one a few nights ago and I had to post it.

👍︎ 16
💬︎
👤︎ u/FReakily
📅︎ Oct 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the Mathematician take meth during an Algebra contest?

Because he needed to solve the problems with speed.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/Sych224
📅︎ Feb 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Meth Dealer [OC]

So a meth dealer is trying to expand his territory into a local school back in the late 90's. He's having a really hard time until he hits on a marketing phrase: "Meth is illin'!" For some reason, that closes every sale he tries to make at the school. It starts with the students, but then he gets some of the faculty as customers and he has one dealing the stuff. For some reason, every single time, when he says "meth is illin'!" he closes the deal. Even the administrators can't seem to resist his catchphrase.

But then his contact on the faculty alerts him to a problem -- the janitor is going to figure out what's going on, and he's going to shut everything down. The teacher is scared of the guy, but our dealer has gained so much confidence in himself that he cannot worry. He waits for the janitor on his morning route.

"Hey man, don't you know? Meth is i-"

But before he can even finish the sentence, the janitor has sprayed floor cleaner in his eyes, hit him in the gut with his mop, and crammed him in a trash can. The dealer is arrested and immediately convicted.

TL; DR: Do not fuck with "meth is illin'!" resistant staff.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating...

Or just mething around?

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/simplyGagi
📅︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.