My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says

Ape will fu ills

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueAidooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Ben and Jerry's are gonna stop making ice cream and start their own branch of martial arts?

They call it Koo-Kee Do

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call Catholic martial arts?

Nun-Jitsu

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranticFridge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Catholic Sister who's an expert in stealth and martial arts?

A nunja.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeIsTheEnemy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Found out martial arts expert Bruce Lee had a vegan brother

His name was Broco Lee

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacrelidge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars. I asked if I could have 2. He said...

"No. You can taek-won-do."

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VentilatedEgg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My local bakery has a martial arts promotion going on

They allow you to take-one-dough.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t3hl34d3r
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?

The Carroty Kid

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjs1023113
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
When you see a panda doing martial arts

You just don't get surprised, you also get bamboozled

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.

I replied β€œcan I at least Taekwondo?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forkingbread
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
People ask me how I got so good at martial arts

I have a senseitional trainer

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between baseball and Chinese martial arts?

In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beanhedge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Martial arts pun

I was going to write a joke about martial arts, but I decided that it was to offensive

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevin_Nivek1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a martial arts expert drink?

Kara-tea

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked Ryu if i could learn martial arts at his level yesterday

He said: β€œSuuuuureee YOU can!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A Martial Artist is outside on Halloween.

Kid: that’s a big bowl of candy mister!

MA: Yeah, but you can only taekwondo.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tylerjk01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of martial arts do viruses know?

Kung flu.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/da_one1morelight
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows of famous martial artist, Bruce Lee

He also had a brother, the revolutionary vegan activist, Brocco Lee

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?

Bruised Knee.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrizttttt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baker who started taking martial arts classes?

After only 4 weeks he was a black belt in Tae Kwon Dough

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrubZ0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Asian martial arts must be very dehydrating...

because every second line in a movie is "Wataaah!".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trandami
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
So somebody asked if I can make martial arts joke

I replied I kendo it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemon_alpha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I like more formalized martial arts than Muay Thai.

I’ve started studying Muay Suit and Thai.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a canadian prime minister that practises martial arts?

Justin judeau

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a martial artist's favorite animal?

A dōgi

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?

Bruce Leaf.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommyboy3111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
So a sensei or β€˜teacher’ at a martial arts school brings a bowl of crispy wontons to class.

He sets it on a plinth and tells the students they’re free to take a couple after class is over. Halfway through teaching the senpai or sensei’s assistant approaches and tells him he has an important phone call. He tells the class to find a partner and practice. He comes back fifteen minutes later and the plinth is knocked over, the bowl is in pieces and the wontons crushed and scattered about. He is dismayed that his students would engage in such sensei-less wonton destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Igrotzny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine claimed that you can't make a suggestive phrase out of a martial art

I asked:

"Muay Thai prove you wrong?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JokerInATardis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a Trump supporter's favorite martial art?

Krav MAGA

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugbrain_04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of martial arts do cows like best?

Mooy Tai

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people do martial arts to defend themselves. . .

Others do them just for kicks.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Avartes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Yiu know what kind of Martial Arts Jesus practices?

Judo

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasberryjam5151
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people were swatting at bugs and they were joking about how they looked they were doing martial arts

I told them it was called hop moskido.

This actually happened. Nobody laughed and no one I've told it to since has laughed. I think it's really funny and I need some validation. Help

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BASIC-Mufasa
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm going to start a low carb, high fat and protein combined with martial arts diet

Aiketo

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adopogi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a martial artist favorite vegetable?

Brock-lee

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carry_bean
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s kind of.. Kung-Fusing
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1ky1e1
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do martial arts masters shop for furniture?

at the I-KEA!!!

(I think this is my first original dad-joke)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorOfLies
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Dad can you tell me what a star shaped martial arts weapon is called?

β€œShuriken”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DolphinzX
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the best tree martial artist?

Spruce Tree

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abridgeded
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who’s really into Korean martial arts, he’s known as Taekwonjoe
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatcatson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a bearded martial arts instructor's favorite bubble gum?

Kung Fu Man Chew

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rideintips
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an ape that knows martial arts?

King kong fu

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onesyboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a martial artist in a business suit?

A TIE fighter.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xShadowHunter94x
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
"It's time for your martial arts class, son."

Son: "But, I don't even take won do!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rover359
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Ken, a master martial artist, was worried about winning his next fight. He asked his friend Ryu, "Do you think I can win this fight?" Ryu confidently responded:

"Shoryuken!"

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOtherAvaz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call tree that knows martial arts?

Spruce Lee

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggalden
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked if I could take two, he said no.

I said, β€œCan I at least Taekwondo?”

πŸ‘︎ 459
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts, but when I asked if I could take two, he said no...

I pleaded, β€œCan I at least Taekwondo?”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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