I don't get why they call it a Samsung Galaxy.

I can't even call Mars.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kashindabank
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Who is Elon musk's favorite band

Thirty seconds to mars

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/oim8itsme
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Looks like Earth & Mars are fighting again

Earth just told Mars to "get a life"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Jean-Pierreโ€™s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...

You must be from Mars, eh?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/granquist04
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Canโ€™t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.

Just so I can ask if thereโ€™s wife on Mars.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 58
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vbloke
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
With NASA pursuing the hotter Venus

Mars is left feeling cold.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sarcasticpremed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Did you hear about the fight in the biscuit tin?

The bandit hit the penguin over the head with a club, tied him to a wagon wheel with a blue ribbon, and made his breakaway in a taxi, escaping along the rocky road to mars, the milky way, and the Galaxy.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BadgerEatCheese
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Idk what to put here

What do u call a singer that denies the existence of Mars? Bruhno mars

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/M3m3_D0ct0r
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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Butterfingers and M&Ms are okay...

... but Mars Bars and Milky Way are out of this world!

(Not a great joke, but I've found its good for a few Snickers)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 175
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DrFurball
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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NASA should build a pub on Mars.

Mars bar.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bennogram_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a horse that is good at football?

Neighhhhh-mar

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bbe69
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I offered Bonnie Tyler a Twix, but she refused it.

I offered her a Mars Bar, then a Yorkie and finally a Bounty, but she kept saying NO!

I think she was holding out for an Aero...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Stoatwobbler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Life On Mars?

Did you know there used to be life on Mars? Yeah, there used to be a giant cat that lived up there. Guess which rover we sent to greet it?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gbeegz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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I saw a bunch of ants eating my chocolate bar on the kitchen counter.

There is life on Mars.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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My wife showed me a website where you can send your name on a microchip on the Mars 2020 Rover.

I told her I'm glad the rover is not going to Uranus.

Wesbite for those interested in sending their name to Mars and not Uranus

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lobbanisgod
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A couple is talking about...

A couple is talking about the one celebrity they wish they could marry. The GF says, "I would so marry Tom Hiddleston!". She continues to speak as she guesses that her BF would've wanted to get married to Scarlett Johansson, but he corrects her and says he'd Mar(r)y Elizabeth (W)instead!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EasilyImaginable
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between earth steaks and mars steaks?

Mars steaks come in a little meteor.....

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/heyzeus3891
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

โ€ฆ u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Skormes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did Mars screw up its piano recital?

It was a little rusty.

(Most of the rock on Mars has iron in it, and it's oxidized over the millenia, so it's rusty, which is why it's red.)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 38
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CrackedP0t
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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Dad and Son Team

Dinner guest: So last night I was watching a PBS documentary on Mars.

Father and Son simultaneously: Wow! How did you get back? (fist bump)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 638
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tallpapab
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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[Told by my dad during his birthday larty] Who's Freddy Mercury's long lost brother?

Bruno Mars

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/okamipiano
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Shitty Band Names

Can you guys come up with toilet-based puns for musicians/band names? Like Poo Fighters, Turdy Seconds from Mars, sTool, Pee Diddy, Our Lady Piss, Fart Minor, Michael Pooplรฉ. That's all I have for now :D

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ellynmeh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Elon Musk says "Mars will need everything from iron foundries to pizza joints to nightclubs: Mars should really have great bars."

"The Mars Bar."

This was a legit quote from Musk at South by Southwest. He followed it by saying "I love dad jokes"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fricks_and_stones
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
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That's very punny, Mr. President

Curiosity Rover carries Obama's signature to Mars:

http://i.imgur.com/afpXW8Z.jpg

๐Ÿ‘︎ 47
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Furfaidz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
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Earth is doomed

The earth is doomed, women should go back to Venus, men to Mars, and us gays will go deep into Uranus

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sergobe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Rover finds life on Mars!

The new rover Curiosity discovered life on Mars tonight. A small group of creatures resembling cats was discovered unfortunately, the rover came down directly on top of the colony killing them. Even millions of miles away, Curiosity kills the cats.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 52
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FromageOmage
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2012
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dad dropped this on me while watching Transformers

Dad: Did you know there is actually a planet that we know of that is solely inhabited robots?

Me: What are you talking about?

Dad: Mars

Me: .......

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/UCFSTORMTROOPER
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 21 2016
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Gimmie five!

Up high!

Down low!

(No, I am not too slow, come on dad, oldest trick in the book!)

In space!

(No, I will not get it "in the face"! Geez, dad.)

On Mars!

(Where is he going with this?)

On Jupiter!

(He wouldn't.)

On Uranus!

(He did.)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/quackdamnyou
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Daughter was asking about planets....

... she asked me, "are any hot?"

I said, "Yes, Mercury and Venus are hot because they are so close to the sun."

She asked, "Are any cold?"

"Yes, the ones outside our orbit are cold. Mars, Jupiter and so on."

"What color are they?", she asked...

"Well, the Earth is blue and green, Mars is red because of iron, Jupiter has a cool red spot..."

"What color is Uranus?"

.... .... ....

"It's brown, and very windy."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheContrarian2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Deep fried Mars bar

I got some fish and chips and a deep fried mars bar with my girlfriend and afterwards she was critiquing the deep fried mars bar.

Girlfriend: It was pretty good, but the batter was too thick. There was too much before you got to the melted mars bar

Me: So...you're saying that it could have been batter?

I didn't look at her, but I could tell she was glaring at me

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lozdogz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A pop singer recently opened up a chocolate/wine cafe...

it's called "Bruno Mars Bar"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hutimuti
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 09 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A dad joke of astronomical proportion

A friend an I were driving home when I noticed two bright stars in the sky I knew to be planets.

Me: "Do you know what planets those are?"

Him: "I don't know... Mars and Venus?".

Me: "I'm pretty sure they're Venus and Jupiter"

Him: "Yeah, I had no idea. I just pulled two planet names out of my..."

Me: "Uranus?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dangoodspeed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Friend's dad commented on my dad's Facebook post

My dad posted a picture on Facebook, which was just the following text:

> "Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate!"

My friend's dad comments:

>"What about Mars?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 53
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ationsong
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Perfect NFL dad joke ....

Girlfriends Dad to wife : honey we need to take your car charger to the Del Mar races

Wife: why, don't you have one ?

GFD: yeah , but didn't you buy yours in San Diego?

Wife: yeah?

GFD: Then we have to take it, it's a San Diego Charger !

I'm the only one that got it and laughed !

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Imissplacedmykeys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I think that all people who in any way block Mars exploration should be prosecuted.

They're Mars murderers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/woyteck
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Earth vs. Mars

Why do Mars rocks taste better than Earth rocks?

Because they're a little meteor.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hutchj1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
she wanted the dog.

housemate 1. : "I'd love a beagle"

me: "what the space probe?"

Housemate 2. : "sigh* shut up...are they difficult to manage?"

me: "i'd expect so, it took half of NASA to put it on mars"

the response was furrowed brow's and giggles.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ridik_ulass
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dadjoked by a Cosmonaut

In Mary Roaches book, Packing for Mars, she asked a Cosmonaut (Who general spend longer periods of time in space than astronauts) How do you deal with not having sex for long periods of time.

"Married couples ask me this all the time! They say; 'Sasha, how do you make sex in space?'

And I tell them 'By hand of course!'"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SnakeyesX
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We were sitting in McDonald's when this song comes on...

Daughter and I were sitting in McDonald's and "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars comes on.

I said "This song is kind of weird."

She said "Why do you say that?"

I said "It sounds like it's from Mars."

She brightens, thinking she's got me: "It IS fr-- Oh why do I fall for it!?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/petdance
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Not my dad, but A dad.

Me: "Mars was out the other day."

Him: "The corner shop had about 20 of them out earlier."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Somegeezer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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