Happy New Year! Remember kids, you need to make some good resolutions to become a better version of yourself.

If you don’t, they’ll just go in one year and right out the other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhaenSyth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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How do you make a dog happy?

You give it a funny bone

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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This makes me β€œpear”y happy! See what I did there??
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Debeers19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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My daughter, Eliza, kept asking me to use my 3D printer to make monogrammed chairs for her dolls. Last Sunday I printed over 100 of them. She was so happy. She started putting them on everything for decoration.

We had a Sunday, everything with a chair E on top.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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How do you make the candles on your cake really happy?

Just blow them out! They'll be delighted!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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What makes a serial killer mime happy?

Mute-elation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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What makes gays and lawyers happy?

New mandates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rdpl_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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I wonder if accessory garden buildings really make you happy...

Or if its only due to the gazebo-effect

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frasaco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Why do lamps make people happy?

They bring delight.

My 7-year-old son told me this at the breakfast table this morning. He is going to be a great dad one day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediFunHouse
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes, for no apparent reason, the number 12 makes me happy

And sometimes it dozen

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lordman17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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I took my wife to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you, but she wasn't very happy.

I told her next time she can pick the restaurant, if she really hated Subway that much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JTxyz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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A good dicktion makes happy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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Honey, I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.

You have the biggest penis out of all your friends

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatimelo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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My son asked me if being an airplane pilot makes me happy.

It has its ups and downs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aetas800
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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I thought heroin would make me happy

But it was all in vein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Durdlenut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Just wanted to show you guys how happy this sub makes me...

https://i.imgur.com/Qf9AcxG.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealduckie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Does medicine make you happy?

Because it made Bengay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skull_Bag
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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The word punny is punny and that makes me happy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toasty-toes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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Why makes aquarium fish so happy?

Their indoor-fins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superpond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2012
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Italian tailors are always happy to make a pair of pants for you....

....or at least sew its seams.

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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
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Makes me both happy and sad.

My dad was the "penultimate" dad-joker and I miss him so much. This sub makes me simultaneously happy and sad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterHerbologist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
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