Devil puns anyone? Lol also promoting Lucifer huhu can’t wait
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJSaporno
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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After Lucifer betrayed God, how did God kick him out of heaven?

"get the hell outta here"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dakkamakka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Lucifer, the gorgeous fallen angel. [X-post /r/tumblr]

http://i.imgur.com/fmGslhx.jpg

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2014
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When God lights a cigarette....

Is it with a match made in Heaven ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....

St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."

He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"

The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".

St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"

The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."

"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"

The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".

"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Reasons Why I Didn't Like Dante's Inferno
  • It's too deep
  • It's the pits
  • The places made me go "What the Hell"
  • It took an eternity for anything to happen
  • I didn't get a lot of it , because the devil was in the details
  • The so-called "smart" people in Hell use too much circular reasoning
  • The main character is too down-to-earth
  • Lucifer is unlikable, even though he is a central character
  • It uses too much inflammatory language
  • A lot of the action is too sin-tilating for me

Ok, that last one was pretty bad. I should be punished. I'll go die in a fire now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowingMyselfOut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
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Making dadjokes when you can barely talk isn't easy, but I did it.

At work today, a friend of mine came in with two dried Carolina Reaper peppers. If you aren't familiar with these bad boys, they are hotter than Lucifer's testicles themselves. 2.2 Million Scoville units. Two times hotter than the ghost pepper.

To put it into perspective, a jalapeno is about 5000 scoville units. This one was 2.2 fucking million.

Anyway. I walked past my buddy's desk and he asked if I wanted some of the pepper.

OF COURSE I DID!!!

He gave me 1/4 of one of these little peppers and he even dared me to chew it for 15 seconds before swallowing. Which I did. To say that my mouth felt like the burning hemorrhoids of satans budding asshole would be a vast understatement.

One of the girls who sat near my buddy looks at me -- pacing back and forth around the room, sweating, crying -- and she says:

>"Cane-Dewey, are you alright!?"

I could barely breathe let alone speak. But through all the pain and angush, I still managed to mutter out:

>"No, I'm half left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cane-Dewey
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
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