If Abraham Lincoln had gone on a hunger strike there would have been an Emaciation Proclamation.

Emaciation/Emancipation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What did the Lincoln Memorial say when it got pepper in its nose?

STACHOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What do Abraham Lincoln biographies and Instagram promoters have in common?

Lincoln bio.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emagdaleno
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What did Abraham Lincoln say when he watched a Call of Duty killcam?

Nice play.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePegaKris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Anyone want to help me make a TV show about Abraham Lincoln?

The plan is to shoot it in front of a live audience.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Why did Lincoln give the Gettysburg Address? /r/Jokes/comments/ghs2js/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuhawaiki
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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How many pennies in a roll of pennies have a Lincoln face?

It's actually one per cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Why is Abe Lincoln the least guilty out of all the presidents of the USA?

Because he is In a cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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Why did the cannibal love Abraham Lincoln?

Because of the greatest speech ever written, "Four score and seven ears ago..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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How do I know Abraham Lincoln never had trouble with the law?

He's in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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Did you know Abraham Lincoln lived in Pennsylvania?

Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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NBC is coming up with a docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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I'm the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln...

I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln guilty?

Because he was in-a-cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItzPhoen1x
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zvekl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Abe Lincoln was shot in the Ford theater

Wouldn't have happened in a Chevy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain_Karfuzzel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln,

Were truly open-minded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squatyslav
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Why hasn't Abraham Lincoln ever been charged with a crime?

He's in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneCoolGuy234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
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You know they say JFK and Abraham Lincoln were the most open minded presidents
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoonicide
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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My bank sells repo cars. The other day, they had a Lincoln sedan for sale...

I pulled beside the shiny car, beaming at the price and quality...except I noticed the back passenger door seemed have water dripping out the side panel. I giggled to myself:

Might as well call it a'Leakin, amirite?

😎😎😎😎😎

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurbsideChaos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm in-a-cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gluttonysin4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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TIL: The Lincoln penny debuted on the Anniversary of his birth...

It all makes cents now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Why doesnt matthew mcconaughey's lincoln have a left turn signal?

Because it goes all right all right all right

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πŸ‘€︎ u/threecheers4jim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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The mailman was confused by President Lincoln's orders.

He was told to deliver to the Gettysburg Address.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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"I do the very best I know how--the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end." A. Lincoln

Which Lincoln said this?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Moose123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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Conversation between Lincoln and his peers

Lincoln: I shall abolish slavery in the country of freedom Peers: what in tarnation ?? Lincoln: yes, this entire nation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jalelninj
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Why didn't Abe Lincoln commit crimes?

Because he's in a cent!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was wrongly accused?

Turns out he was in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyaleo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
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Historians are now saying that Abraham Lincoln never felt guilt or shame...

He was in a cent.

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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
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Abraham Lincoln is the most pure president to have ever held office.

He was always very in-a-cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Red_Road
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2013
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What do they call a traffic jam in the Lincoln Tunnel?

A Linkin Park

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthracite4
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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What do you call Abe Lincolns poo?

A Lincoln log

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rancidjelly
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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You know, I was named after Abraham Lincoln

He was named in 1809 and I was named in 1990

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sethborders
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
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Abe Lincoln's House

Girlfriends family went to visit the house that Abe Lincoln was born in. I said, "You know how they knew it was his house even though it's been all these years?" They looked at me with curiosity. I said "Their name was still on the mailbox"

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
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Lincoln was the least guilty president

Because he was in a cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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NBC is developing a new realistic docudrama about Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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I own an axe that belonged to Abraham Lincoln

I replaced the head once,and the handle has been replaced twice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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HBO is making a new docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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The least guilty president is Abraham Lincoln.

It's because he's in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maise12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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NBC is planning an old-fashioned sitcom about Abraham Lincoln.

It will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
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Lincoln was the least guilty US president

He's in a cent.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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abraham lincoln never committed a crime

he was in a cent

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehferretgamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Why was Abraham Lincoln never found guilty of a crime?

He was in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ande4100
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Did you know that Matthew McConaughey's Lincoln can't make left turns?

It just goes all right, all right, all right...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaronVonCodpiece
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2016
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