The kicker fumbled the play

No punt intended

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👤︎ u/Pongoid
📅︎ Mar 15 2019
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My first dadjoke! And it's a kicker

I go to school in Berkeley, CA, which--to put it lightly--isn't in the running for "Clean City, USA". The other day, I was swapping out my nice expensive shoes for my old tattered street sneakers when my friend asked why I was switching. My dad senses kicked in:

"Could you imagine me walking through the streets of Berkeley in my nice clean dress shoes? The poor soles!"

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👤︎ u/ziggaman
📅︎ Sep 25 2014
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My law professor used to be a field goal kicker in college...

"Me and my buddy were going to go pro but we couldn't play because we had sinus problems....

No one would sign us up."

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📅︎ Nov 13 2013
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How did the constipated mathematician work out his problem?

With a pencil.

Want to know the real kicker?

It was a No. 2 pencil.

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👤︎ u/BoarderMW
📅︎ Oct 22 2018
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I was at a soccer game, when a fan jumped onto the field dressed as a player. He was chased off.

Now here’s the real kicker.

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📅︎ Mar 01 2018
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Got my workmates a while ago. Still chuckle about it to myself occasionally

I work for an organisation which has a very institutionalised system whereby the newest hires are the shit kickers and the people who have been there longest have it easiest. I knew it when I signed up and now I've done my time and moved up the totem pole a bit. I was lucky enough to be one of 10 people hired at the same time in this hiring period and so the shit was spread out a bit.

We have a small fleet of cars that need to be washed every Sunday. This is the newest hire's responsibility. About 2-3 months into the job I was washing the cars with a few of my other new colleagues. Our supervisor pokes his head out of the building and barks at us "Make sure you do a good job; don't forget to do the wheels!"

"Don't worry boss," I replied, "I'll do a wheelie good job!"

Have you ever heard a chorus of groans? I have.

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📅︎ Sep 23 2016
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