This is the point of no return
πŸ‘οΈŽ 715
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/________________me
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2022
🚨︎ report
How would you describe the difference between Ironman and other superheroes?

Stark.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dangerous_Aside_9580
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2022
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Today I was kicked out of r/guitar, r/drums, r/bass, and r/piano

I was completely band.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ilikesidehugs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2022
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the further adventures of Amanda Lynn
πŸ‘οΈŽ 187
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ErixWorxMemes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2022
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I tried using BEEFSTEW as a password

But it wasn't Stroganoff

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GumbyBClay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2022
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Just letting you know
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2022
🚨︎ report
How do you stop an evil contractor?

You put aluminum on all of his blueprints… because then you’ll have foiled all his plans

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/r_special_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2022
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I'm always the first to arrive at work to let the staff in

Its a key role

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jmoney6
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2022
🚨︎ report
I lost the keys for my piano

Forget opening it, how am I supposed to play?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WhyHelloThere04d62s
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2022
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the lady that got married to a cell phone tower?

The ceremony was terrible, but the reception was brilliant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ok_Presence36
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Prime mates

πŸ‘οΈŽ 346
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/barleyfruit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2022
🚨︎ report
How come you can’t keep Jewish people in jail?

Because they eat lox.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AbrahamLingam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did dad get fired from the keyboard factory?

He kept missing shifts.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brilliant_Plant2976
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call an astronauts favourite part in the computer

>!A SPACE BAR!<

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tendo-uchiwa4060
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2022
🚨︎ report
What's a janitors favorite dessert?

Urinal cake.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/matrose9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2022
🚨︎ report
Girls have 4 knees and boys have 5 knees. Girls have a right knee, a left knee and two kid-knees. Boys have a right knee, a left knee, two kid-knees and a

Wee-knee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 332
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/monkeyshinenyc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2022
🚨︎ report
can a ninja use a throwing star?

Surehecan

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/capriciouszephyr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2022
🚨︎ report
hands hurt after pulling out so many control keys
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SturmCrazy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2022
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What’s the meaning of IDK?

I asked random people what does IDK stands for, but none of them knew…

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/patricklaiguana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2022
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I've just written a song about tortillas.

Actually, it's more of a rap.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/neoragexxx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2022
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Name one good thing about an alcoholic; I'll go first:

They sure are good at lifting spirits.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 394
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sampanyo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2022
🚨︎ report
The CEO of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden..

He's currently assembling his cabinet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spinning_bird_kick_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2022
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"Hey Thor why do you wear that metal plate over your butt?"

"It's my ass guard"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mal221
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2022
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My wife was getting ready in the morning and asked for a Q tip

I walked over and said "I have one for you: The trial never ends!"

Edit: it's a quote from a character in Star Trek called Q.

It has nothing to do with Q Anon <--- I can't believe that needs to be said.

Source: https://youtu.be/T1w309q3dbQ

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cbstryker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2022
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the two antennas got married?

The wedding was ok, but the reception was great.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 58
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_wolf3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2022
🚨︎ report
I’d make a joke about mountain climbing but you wouldn’t find it funny because…

It hasn’t reached its peak yet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rszim94
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife asked for a small accent table

Λ† Β΄ Β¨
Β― Β° Λ›Λœ
ΒΈ ⁄ Λ‡Β¨
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moorda
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2022
🚨︎ report
I got fired from a keyboard factory because I didn't put in enough shifts

So they wouldn't let me return or enter. They even changed the caps locks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 213
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kevindavis338
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2022
🚨︎ report
Police confirmed that the man who fell from the 15th floor of the nightclub…

...was not a bouncer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 459
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Majorpain2006
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2022
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I'm going to start giving away pianos

I'm already an organ donor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArmadilloSenior773
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2022
🚨︎ report
I used to be an editor…

but I didn’t find it very rewording.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Marmot64
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2022
🚨︎ report
When I'm grilling a steak, the smell of the juices makes my mouth water.

Wonder if that happens when a vegan mows their lawn.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cockneybastard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2022
🚨︎ report
What the L
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/likelystonedagain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2022
🚨︎ report
Going to break up with my magician girlfriend by letter

I'll just have to pick up my pen and tell her.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mal221
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a baby monkey?

A chimp off the old block.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/klinkscousin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2022
🚨︎ report
A mathy pasta-pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 168
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Punderants
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2022
🚨︎ report
What genre do national anthems fall under?

Country

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pepperspray24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2022
🚨︎ report
Why do ghosts use elevators?

to lift their spirits.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cockneybastard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2022
🚨︎ report
What has 3 letters and starts with gas?

A car

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kaleidoscopichazard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2022
🚨︎ report
A skeleton walks into a bar and says

'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thedeathwaiter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2022
🚨︎ report
What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Farfocele
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GatlinGarf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2022
🚨︎ report
I got fired from a keyboard factory because I didn't put in enough shifts

So they wouldn't let me return or enter.

They even changed the caps locks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pessimist2020
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2022
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I was fired from the keyboard factory....

Apparently I wasn't putting in enough shifts 🀷

πŸ‘οΈŽ 263
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Panna91
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2022
🚨︎ report

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