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I challenge you to make a new cloŋ with the weirdest phonology possible:

Weirdest vowels with an IPA symbol:

• /ɞ/ (Kashubian, Somali)
• /ɝ/ (American English)

Weird syllabic consonants used as vowels:

• /r̩/ (Czech, Croatian, Serbian etc)
• /ɹ̩/ and /ɻ̩/ (Mandarin)
• /ð̩/ (Danish)

Weirdest N sound: /ɰ̃/ (Japanese)

Weirdest T sound: /ʔ/ (British English)

Weirdest rhotic: /ʁ/ (German, French)

C: /c/ (IDK if any language actually uses <c> for a palatal plosive)

Other:

• Four-way distinction between /z/ /ʒ/ /ʑ/ /ʐ/. We can do better than Polish! For good measure, <nz> is added to <cz> <sz> <rz> and represents /ʑ̃/

• Ten-way distinction between /h/ /ɦ/ /ħ/ /ʜ/ /ɧ/ /x/ /χ/ /ɣ/ /ʕ/ /ʢ/. Take that, Semitic languages

Also feel free to add other weird phonemes in the comments

The Polish - Lithuanian Commonwealth was founded officially in 1569, merging the two kingdoms of Poland and Lithuania into one in a kind of 'elective monarchy' (At least for the nobles.) in which in the decades following it's founding, the Commonwealth would prove to be a mighty power in it's sector of Europe. Even going as far as occupying Moscow for three years in a feat most militarists of any nation could only ever dream of.

The PLC at it's peak in 1618 along with it's vassal states of Courland and Prussia.

Come the late 1600s, early and mid 1700s however and the Commonwealth's fortunes seemed to increasingly slow down, stagnating before entering into a state of decline thanks to national disasters such as The Deluge (1655 - 1660/1667 if you count the Russo-Polish War.) and the humiliation brought upon the Commonwealth's poor performance in the Great Northern War and as the Commonwealth fell increasingly victim to the foreign interests of it's neighbors such as Russia or Saxony who began increasingly taking advantage of the Commonwealth's systems. Especially more so following Russia's annexation of the lands of Eastern Prussia.

Signing of the Treaty of St. Petersburg between Russia and Prussia, May 8th 1758.

Ultimately attempts at reforming the Commonwealth to get it out of this ailing position were attempted by King Stanisław II August of Poland - Lithuania. A man of noble standing within the Polish Diet, his rule would increasingly get stone walled by Conservative forces within the Commonwealth.

Stanisław II August: 1764 - 1798

Reason for such heavy stone walling throughout August's rule came from his close connections with the Empress of Russia, Catherine the Great with many in Polish Nobility seeing him as a means to an end to get the Commonwealth as a puppet of Russia. Whilst there was a plot to rebel, overthrow Augustus and secure the Commonwealth's independence in what'd be known as the 'Bar Confederation', the plot however was discovered and many of the conspirators arrested and executed with only a few such as Casimir Pulaski escaping, with Pulaski s

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

☆ The Crimson Star ☆

August 7th, 1904

The following article is written by Upton Sinclair of Whiting, Indiana.

William R. Hearst Secures F-L Nomination! New Era for the Party?

Late last night in Toledo, Ohio, Farmer - Labour candidate William Randolph Hearst has secured the nomination for the party to become it's new candidate for President against the Federal Republicans, Progressives and potentially the LAP. The campaign was both a curve stomp at first but proved harder than expected for Hearst, mostly from the Senate Minority Leader Richard F. Pettigrew of Clay. Ultimately the race came down to a clash in where the party should go, be it under the umbrella populist strategy of Hearst or the more radical and further Left wing politics of Pettigrew to move the nation in a more left wing direction.

Hearst after he hears that he has secured the F-L Nomination.

Naturally, it should come as no surprise that Hearst was able to be as successful as he was. Running as a political outsider at first in his initial race for New York Governor, Hearst would continue to garner a strong national base as a man who'd fight for the common man. Some would also say that Hearst was able to win the party's nomination through a case of sheer dumb luck when it came to timing with the nation entering an unprecedented era of strikes both for increased worker's rights and calls to end prohibition nation wide. A kind of irony given how it was the working man's first President John Bidwell who introduced such a notion.

Never the less, like when the nation was dissatisfied with the leadership of Seward which the American people chose Bidwell or when people found themselves dissatisfied with the work of Bragg, they elected Trumbull. If this pattern remains and such strikes and calls for true change continue on into November then potentially, the Farmer - Labor Party could be back in the White House for the first time in sixteen years sine the defeat of the Imperialist Lease in '92.

Photograph taken at a strike at Wheeling, Virginia during the 1902 General Strikes. The largest in the nation's history.

Naturally with the Primary Season for the major parties coming to a close, discussion as to who (Assuming a new

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

They were cooked in Greece.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

!Xóõ !Xun (Ekoka) //Ani /Xam A-Pucikwar A-Pucikwar Aari Aariya Aasáx Abau Abaza Abenaki (Western) Abidji Abipón Abipón Abkhaz Abui Abun Acaxee Acehnese Achagua Achang Aché Achí Acholi Achuar Achumawi Acoma Acroá Adai Adamorobe Sign Language Adang Adioukrou Adithinngithigh Adjuvilo Adyghe (Abzakh) Adyghe (Shapsugh) Adyghe (Temirgoy) Adynyamathanha Adzera Aekyom Aequian Afrihili Afrikaans Agarabi Agavotaguerra Aghem Aghu Aghu Tharnggala Aghul Agta (Central) Agta (Dupaningan) Aguacatec Aguaruna Ahom Ahtna Aikaná Ainu Aizi Aja Ajagbe Ajawa Ajië Aka Aka-Bea Aka-Biada Aka-Bo Aka-Cari Aka-Cari Aka-Jeru Aka-Kede Aka-Kede Aka-Kol Aka-Kora Akan Akar-Bale Akawaio Akha Akhvakh Akkadian Akkala Sami Aklanon Akwa Ala'ala Alabama Alagwa Alamblak Alanic Alas Alawa Albanian Aleut Aleut (Eastern) Algonquin Alladian Allentiac Alngith Alsatian Alsea Alsea Altai (Southern) Alune Alutiiq Alutor Alyawarra Ama Amahuaca Amanab Amanayé Amara Amarakaeri Ambae (Lolovoli Northeast) Ambai Ambulas Amdo Amdo (Themchen) Amele American Sign Language Amharic Amis Ammonite Amo Ampeeli Amuesha Amuzgo Anamuxra Ancient Cappadocian Ancient Macedonian Andi Andoa Andoke Andoquero Anejom Anêm Angaataha Angami Angas Anggor Angolar Anguthimri Anindilyakwa Anong Antrim dialect, Irish Anufo Anyi Anywa Ao Apache (Chiricahua) Apache (Jicarilla) Apache (Western) Apalachee Apalaí Apatani Apiaká Apinayé Apurinã Arabana Arabela Arabic (Bahrain) Arabic (Bani-Hassan) Arabic (Beirut) Arabic (Borno Nigerian) Arabic (Chadian) Arabic (Eastern Libyan) Arabic (Egyptian) Arabic (Gulf) Arabic (Hijazi) Arabic (Iraqi) Arabic (Kormakiti) Arabic (Kuwaiti) Arabic (Lebanese) Arabic (Modern Standard) Arabic (Moroccan) Arabic (Negev) Arabic (North Levantine Spoken) Arabic (Palestinian) Arabic (San'ani) Arabic (Syrian) Arabic (Tunisian) Arakanese (Marma) Araki Aralle-Tabulahan Arandai Araona Arapaho Arapesh (Abu) Arapesh (Mountain) Aravirá Arawak Arbore Arcaicam Esperantom Archi Are'are Areba Aribwatsa Aribwatsa Aribwatsa Arikara Arikem Arin Armenian (Eastern) Armenian (Iranian) Armenian (Western) Arop-Lokep Arosi Arrernte Arrernte (Mparntwe) Arrernte (Western) Arritinngithigh Aruá Asmat Assamese Assan Asturian Asuriní Atacameño Atakapa Atakapa Atampaya Atayal Atchin Athpare Atikamekw Atlantean Atsugewi Atsugewi Attempto Controlled English Au Aulua Auregnais Auslan Auyana Avar Avatime Avestan Avikam Avokaya Awa Awa Pit Awabakal Awadhi Awngi Awtuw Awyi Ayabadhu Ayiwo Aymara (Central) Aynu Ayomán Ayoreo Azari (Iranian) Azerbaijan

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac