Jordan Puns

So he’s mostly known as a psychologist, self help Guru and “philosopher” but he also did some interesting work in Marine Biology.

One of the papers he worked on was on how the nuclear tests in the Bikini Atol effected Predator genetics.

The results learned that the nuclear tests during the cold war disrupted shark breeding so much that species were splitting apart.

They called it the Post Modern Neo Shark Schism.

Because the left wing was completely destroyed!

Dad: Did you hear about how Jordan has been bombing ISIS?

Me: Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

Dad: I know... So do you think Jordan's Air Force is called "Air Jordan"?

Me: :-/

Dad: They probably have the Nike logo on their jets.

He doesn’t like tags.

He’s a scarab.

It was like watching a Bull in a china shop

Get out

Pros: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady

Cons: Al Capone, Frank Abagnale, Ted Bundy

I went online and saw that a nigerian princess wanted to send me millions of dollars. However, I had to send $100 for handling fees on the check. However, I wanted confirmation. So I had her send me a picture. She did. Now, a princess needs a prince right? So I went online and found a picture of an eligible bachelor prince. Some guy from Jordan. I then took the two images, placed them side by side, and had some photoshopped ceremonial garb.

In otherwords, I married the prints. Of course, I took pictures of the happy event and sent them to the "princess" with the caption "I already married the prints." The scammer didn't reply unfortunately.

... I don't have a clue what he laced them with, but I have been tripping hard!

Then he'd be Heir Jordan

Because he left his windows open

Me: I'll have an a-mond danish. Wife: You mean almond? (doesn't suspect a thing) Me: Do you know how they harvest a-monds? Wife: No. (still clueless) Me: They use a big piece of machinery to grab the tree and shake the L out of it. (Couldn't see any eye rolling because I was too busy doing a Jordan fadeaway in the very busy bakery)

It was a dark and blustery Friday night. My wife and I were doubling with my sister and brother in-law at a delicious BBQ joint. Bro in-law (Jordan) asked us if we were up on the latest celebrity gossip.

Jordan - Did you hear about the actress who killed her husband?!

Us - what? No! Who?

Jordan - Ya! She stabbed him with a knife when he came home. I just can't remember who it was... What was her name?... Reese! Reese something...

Us - Wait! Witherspoon??!

Jordan - No! I just told you. With a knife!