My daughter was all grown up. It was a challenging thing for me to accept. I know it's how life is supposed to work, but that doesn't make it any easier.
My hands were stuffed inside my pockets as I wandered around the foyer. Kendra used to crawl up and down these halls, fumbling around in her diapers. I used to hear her gibberish all the way up the stairs. Now she was standing in the foyer, all her possessions sealed in cardboard boxes.
Off to College. Ohio State. She was going to be a Buck-Eye just like her father.
“Did you make sure you have everything?” Miranda asked, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Yes, Mom,” she smiled. “Triple checked, just like you asked.”
“Parker checked the fluid levels?” I asked.
“Yes, Dad.”
We stood there in silence, all stalling tactics thoroughly exhausted. The only words left were goodbye.
Tears flooded from Miranda's eyes, a stream of black mascara steadily running down both cheeks as she wished our daughter goodluck.
I bit down hard on my cheek as I bear hugged Kendra. As she broke free from my embrace, I quickly wiped away the salty trickle from my eyes.
“Don't get so worked up guys,” Kendra said. “ I’ll be back in the summer.”
“And for Christmas?” Miranda enquired.
“And Christmas.“
“Reading break, too? “ I urged.
She flashed another pearly white smile as she opened the door, “It’s a really long drive, Dad. We’ll see.”
Kendra grabbed the last of the cardboard boxes and promised to text us once she arrived.
“I love you guys.”
Just like that, our grown up daughter was gone.
***
As far as I was concerned, no one would ever be good enough for my daughter. Plenty of people would heap praise over how exceptionally gorgeous she was. She was tall and slender - just like her father - but her most striking features were inherited from her mother: amber eyes that blazed with tenacity, soft skin and rolling cinnamon locks. Her selflessness- an endless capacity for love that seemed to beam out of her- I had no idea where she got that from, but I was damn grateful that it was a part of who she was.
As she got older, I tried my best to lay down the law. No partying. No boyfriends. I ruled with an iron fist out of fear and protection for her. I knew how teenage boys could be (and that terrified me), but I soon realized that this was a losing battle. As time went on, she retreated more and more to her phone, opting to text and giggle in her room over spending time with the family. I would find paintings and sket
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
Amy
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Until he discovered it was extra sharp.
My daughter was all grown up. It was a challenging thing for me to accept. I know it's how life is supposed to work, but that doesn't make it any easier.
My hands were stuffed inside my pockets as I wandered around the foyer. Kendra used to crawl up and down these halls, fumbling around in her diapers. I used to hear her gibberish all the way up the stairs. Now she was standing in the foyer, all her possessions sealed in cardboard boxes.
Off to College. Ohio State. She was going to be a Buck-Eye just like her father.
“Did you make sure you have everything?” Miranda asked, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Yes, Mom,” she smiled. “Triple checked, just like you asked.”
“Parker checked the fluid levels?” I asked.
“Yes, Dad.”
We stood there in silence, all stalling tactics thoroughly exhausted. The only words left were goodbye.
Tears flooded from Miranda's eyes, a stream of black mascara steadily running down both cheeks as she wished our daughter goodluck.
I bit down hard on my cheek as I bear hugged Kendra. As she broke free from my embrace, I quickly wiped away the salty trickle from my eyes.
“Don't get so worked up guys,” Kendra said. “ I’ll be back in the summer.”
“And for Christmas?” Miranda enquired.
“And Christmas.“
“Reading break, too? “ I urged.
She flashed another pearly white smile as she opened the door, “It’s a really long drive, Dad. We’ll see.”
Kendra grabbed the last of the cardboard boxes and promised to text us once she arrived.
“I love you guys.”
Just like that, our grown up daughter was gone.
***
As far as I was concerned, no one would ever be good enough for my daughter. Plenty of people would heap praise over how exceptionally gorgeous she was. She was tall and slender - just like her father - but her most striking features were inherited from her mother: amber eyes that blazed with tenacity, soft skin and rolling cinnamon locks. Her selflessness- an endless capacity for love that seemed to beam out of her- I had no idea where she got that from, but I was damn grateful that it was a part of who she was.
As she got older, I tried my best to lay down the law. No partying. No boyfriends. I ruled with an iron fist out of fear and protection for her. I knew how teenage boys could be (and that terrified me), but I soon realized that this was a losing battle. As time went on, she retreated more and more to her phone, opting to text and giggle in her room over spending time with the family. I would find paintings and sketches
... keep reading on reddit ➡My daughter was all grown up. It was a challenging thing for me to accept. I know it's how life is supposed to work, but that doesn't make it any easier.
My hands were stuffed inside my pockets as I wandered around the foyer. Kendra used to crawl up and down these halls, fumbling around in her diapers. I used to hear her gibberish all the way up the stairs. Now she was standing in the foyer, all her possessions sealed in cardboard boxes.
Off to College. Ohio State. She was going to be a Buck-Eye just like her father.
“Did you make sure you have everything?” Miranda asked, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Yes, Mom,” she smiled. “Triple checked, just like you asked.”
“Parker checked the fluid levels?” I asked.
“Yes, Dad.”
We stood there in silence, all stalling tactics thoroughly exhausted. The only words left were goodbye.
Tears flooded from Miranda's eyes, a stream of black mascara steadily running down both cheeks as she wished our daughter goodluck.
I bit down hard on my cheek as I bear hugged Kendra. As she broke free from my embrace, I quickly wiped away the salty trickle from my eyes.
“Don't get so worked up guys,” Kendra said. “ I’ll be back in the summer.”
“And for Christmas?” Miranda enquired.
“And Christmas.“
“Reading break, too? “ I urged.
She flashed another pearly white smile as she opened the door, “It’s a really long drive, Dad. We’ll see.”
Kendra grabbed the last of the cardboard boxes and promised to text us once she arrived.
“I love you guys.”
Just like that, our grown up daughter was gone.
***
As far as I was concerned, no one would ever be good enough for my daughter. Plenty of people would heap praise over how exceptionally gorgeous she was. She was tall and slender - just like her father - but her most striking features were inherited from her mother: amber eyes that blazed with tenacity, soft skin and rolling cinnamon locks. Her selflessness- an endless capacity for love that seemed to beam out of her- I had no idea where she got that from, but I was damn grateful that it was a part of who she was.
As she got older, I tried my best to lay down the law. No partying. No boyfriends. I ruled with an iron fist out of fear and protection for her. I knew how teenage boys could be (and that terrified me), but I soon realized that this was a losing battle. As time went on, she retreated more and more to her phone, opting to text and giggle in her room over spending time with the family. I would find paintings and sketches
... keep reading on reddit ➡A play on words.
My daughter was all grown up. It was a challenging thing for me to accept. I know it's how life is supposed to work, but that doesn't make it any easier.
My hands were stuffed inside my pockets as I wandered around the foyer. Kendra used to crawl up and down these halls, fumbling around in her diapers. I used to hear her gibberish all the way up the stairs. Now she was standing in the foyer, all her possessions sealed in cardboard boxes.
Off to College. Ohio State. She was going to be a Buck-Eye just like her father.
“Did you make sure you have everything?” Miranda asked, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Yes, Mom,” she smiled. “Triple checked, just like you asked.”
“Parker checked the fluid levels?” I asked.
“Yes, Dad.”
We stood there in silence, all stalling tactics thoroughly exhausted. The only words left were goodbye.
Tears flooded from Miranda's eyes, a stream of black mascara steadily running down both cheeks as she wished our daughter goodluck.
I bit down hard on my cheek as I bear hugged Kendra. As she broke free from my embrace, I quickly wiped away the salty trickle from my eyes.
“Don't get so worked up guys,” Kendra said. “ I’ll be back in the summer.”
“And for Christmas?” Miranda enquired.
“And Christmas.“
“Reading break, too? “ I urged.
She flashed another pearly white smile as she opened the door, “It’s a really long drive, Dad. We’ll see.”
Kendra grabbed the last of the cardboard boxes and promised to text us once she arrived.
“I love you guys.”
Just like that, our grown up daughter was gone.
***
As far as I was concerned, no one would ever be good enough for my daughter. Plenty of people would heap praise over how exceptionally gorgeous she was. She was tall and slender - just like her father - but her most striking features were inherited from her mother: amber eyes that blazed with tenacity, soft skin and rolling cinnamon locks. Her selflessness- an endless capacity for love that seemed to beam out of her- I had no idea where she got that from, but I was damn grateful that it was a part of who she was.
As she got older, I tried my best to lay down the law. No partying. No boyfriends. I ruled with an iron fist out of fear and protection for her. I knew how teenage boys could be (and that terrified me), but I soon realized that this was a losing battle. As time went on, she retreated more and more to her phone, opting to text and giggle in her room over spending time with the family. I would find paintings and sketches
... keep reading on reddit ➡