Inspectorate Puns

You’ve got to hand it to them!

...lately, he's been feeling down.

I'm feeling a little board.

He felt too much pane.

It has its ups and downs.

A Scenter for Disease Control.

It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!

Because.....

It wasn't a-fish-shell

Truly a connoisewer

A superconductor

Nobody likes a bad support.

(Okay, that was bad. Need better ones please!)

That's my Mployment record.

After speaking with a clerk and securing a room, he turns to go upstairs when he spots a dog lying on the ground “Does your dog bite?” Clouseau asks the clerk. “No,” he replies. Clouseau bends to pet the dog, but the dog snaps and bites his hand. Clouseau is shocked.
“I thought you said your dog did not bite!” “That is not my dog,” says the clerk.

He introduced himself with a simple 'Gluten Tag'.

He tells the farmer that he wants to speak with his animals so he can check how their life there is.

The farmer reluctantly leads the inspector to the paddocks, the inspector notices some cows and approaches asking "Hello Ms Cow, how are you finding life on this farm?" The cow replied in a ventriloquistling voice, "I love my life on the farm, I get grass all day and get put indoors at night". The farmer is amazed at the sight before him.

The inspector makes his way to the duck pond and asks the ducks, "Ducks, how is your life at this farm?" The duck, like the cows reply "I love this farm, we get grain and the big pond. We love our life here".

The inspectors continues his way through the farm with the farmer in tow eventually reaching the sheep pen. As he makes his way towards the sheep the farmer quickens his pace catching the inspectors. "I have something to tell you before you chat to the sheep, THE SHEEP LIE!

Makes sure everything is ship shape.

He was carrying around some sort of device that beeps a lot during his testing. I asked some of the staff here what is was and they didn't know so I said, "Must be an inspector gadget".

I really feel like this is a job I could see myself doing.

Santa Clues

Back in the old USSR, a Soviet inspector met with the foreman of a large manufacturing facility.

Inspector: good morning comrade, how many men work here?

Foreman: about half

An Official is inspecting a lunatic asylum to find one inmate to be released for the Asylum's anniversary, after several hours of visiting the numerous wards he enters one where he finds a man sitting on his bed carving a wooden block. He approaches the man and asks him what he was carving, the man on the bed replies that he carves wooden clothes pegs, and that each day he makes around 5. "Well that certainly is impressive" the inspector tells the man, "I think I shall recommend you to the warden for release." The inspector then notices a man hanging from the ceiling, "What is he doing up there?" he again questions the man on the bed. "Oh, he thinks he's a light bulb!" The man on the bed replies, "Well, shouldn't we get him down?" the Inspector asks, shocked, "Don't be daft!", remarks the Man on the bed, "I can't work in the dark!"

He felt too much pane.

You've got to hand it to them