Apparently Florida has the highest rate of infidelity in the country...

It's an unfortunate state of affairs.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GIGA255
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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The Greatest Infidelity Joke My Grandfather Ever Told Me.

Recently, Joe has been under the slight suspicion that his wife is cheating on him. So, one day he comes home early from work, to his crap-shoot apartment on the eighth floor, and hears her scurrying around when he enters. Almost as if there's another person in the house. When he calls out her name she hollers back that she just ran into the shower. So he investigates the bedroom and encounters a shocking surprise... a pair of hands dangling from the other side of the window sill! Those of a grown man, hanging on for dear life. Infuriated at the sight of the man who's sleeping with his wife, Joe takes the bedside lamp and starts bashing the guy's fingers until he falls eight stories onto the sidewalk. Only he's still alive, writhing and broken. So Joe hauls the refrigerator from the kitchen out the window, sending it down onto the poor sucker, killing him instantly. Now the hysteria of the moment induces a fatal heart attack and Joe himself, dies. So now, as he's up at the pearly gates, St. Peter is telling all the incoming souls that in order to gain access into heaven, they need to provide a solid account of how they died. After hearing Joe's story, St. Peter allows him in. The next man in line says that he was tanning in the sun, drunk, on the roof of his apartment building when he fell off, only to catch hold of a window sill that could have saved his life, until a crazed bastard beat his fingers and threw a refrigerator onto him. St. peter tells him that he's a shoe-in. And when he asks the next guy in line how he ended up deceased, the guy replies, "...So I'm naked in a refrigerator, right?"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jazzinassazzin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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Which dictator is considered a hedonist by most religious practitioners?

Infidel Castro.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Blan_Uator
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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๐Ÿ‘︎ 218
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Newt24
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 16 2016
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Where do terrorists go to store their money?

In Fidelity Bank! :D

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theyoungmathprof
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 13 2015
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What do you call a nonbeliever who's having gay sex with a Cuban dictator?

Infidel.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/4DimensionalToilet
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
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Story of an abusive marriage.

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case? "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?' "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." The judge said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?' "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/v_cleaner
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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