I can't believe how rapidly I went from having a complete and impressive mullet to being bald!

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: That’s when I went to Yale... Interviewer: That’s impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Vile1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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At a conference there was the most courageous person who went by the name Sam. Before he got on the stage to deliver his impressive speech, all attendees begged him not to sing.

But Samsung anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I burned an impressive 2,000 calories today.

That’s the last time I fall asleep with brownies in the oven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Superman can to do a lot of impressive things but...

Clark can't.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H-DaneelOlivaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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These are very impressive qualifications Mr Hendrix but I just need to ask...

Are you experienced?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WeeHootieMctoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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People always ask where I learned my impressive vape tricks.

I studied at Juuliard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-wao
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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It's impressive to have a lot of gall or a lot of stones, but if you have both you should probably see a doctor.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnieDog23456
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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What's more impressive than a talking dog?

a spelling bee

πŸ‘︎ 521
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnnx3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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Who is the most impressive guy in a restaurant?

The Waiter

He just brings so much to the table

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x43r0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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The most impressive pyramid scheme was the building of the pyramids.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/first-timer-es
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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It's impressive how much I eat

It leaves my flatmate completely breadless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/analytik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
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I just finished reading an article about public displays of American patriotism. It was very impressive.

After I was done, I pointed at it and yelled, β€œYou essay! You essay!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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The career of a dermatologist is impressive...

considering they all started from scratch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaacdammit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 255
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Interviewer: "I see there's a four year gap on your resume. What were you doing then?" Me: "I went to Yale in 2010" Interviewer: "Impressive! You're hired"

Me: "Thanks. I really need this yob"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: That's when I went to Yale... Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this yob.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a...

Super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What's more impressive than a talking dog?

A spelling bee

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aragon10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
🚨︎ report

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