I can't believe how rapidly I went from having a complete and impressive mullet to being bald!

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2021
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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 391
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/banditk77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: That’s when I went to Yale... Interviewer: That’s impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lord_Vile1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2019
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At a conference there was the most courageous person who went by the name Sam. Before he got on the stage to deliver his impressive speech, all attendees begged him not to sing.

But Samsung anyway.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
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I burned an impressive 2,000 calories today.

That’s the last time I fall asleep with brownies in the oven.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2020
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Superman can to do a lot of impressive things but...

Clark can't.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/H-DaneelOlivaw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2020
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These are very impressive qualifications Mr Hendrix but I just need to ask...

Are you experienced?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WeeHootieMctoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2020
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People always ask where I learned my impressive vape tricks.

I studied at Juuliard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-wao
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2020
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It's impressive to have a lot of gall or a lot of stones, but if you have both you should probably see a doctor.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnnieDog23456
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2019
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What's more impressive than a talking dog?

a spelling bee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 521
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jnnx3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2017
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Who is the most impressive guy in a restaurant?

The Waiter

He just brings so much to the table

πŸ‘οΈŽ 780
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/x43r0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2015
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The most impressive pyramid scheme was the building of the pyramids.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/first-timer-es
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2019
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It's impressive how much I eat

It leaves my flatmate completely breadless.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/analytik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2017
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I just finished reading an article about public displays of American patriotism. It was very impressive.

After I was done, I pointed at it and yelled, β€œYou essay! You essay!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2018
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The career of a dermatologist is impressive...

considering they all started from scratch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/isaacdammit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2016
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2019
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 255
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Interviewer: "I see there's a four year gap on your resume. What were you doing then?" Me: "I went to Yale in 2010" Interviewer: "Impressive! You're hired"

Me: "Thanks. I really need this yob"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2019
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Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: That's when I went to Yale... Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this yob.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2019
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a...

Super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2018
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What's more impressive than a talking dog?

A spelling bee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aragon10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2016
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