I can't believe how rapidly I went from having a complete and impressive mullet to being bald!
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
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︎ May 21 2021
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)
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︎ Jun 22 2020
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: Thatβs when I went to Yale... Interviewer: Thatβs impressive. You are hired.
Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.
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︎ Nov 06 2019
At a conference there was the most courageous person who went by the name Sam. Before he got on the stage to deliver his impressive speech, all attendees begged him not to sing.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I burned an impressive 2,000 calories today.
Thatβs the last time I fall asleep with brownies in the oven.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Superman can to do a lot of impressive things but...
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 26 2020
These are very impressive qualifications Mr Hendrix but I just need to ask...
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︎ Feb 01 2020
People always ask where I learned my impressive vape tricks.
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︎ Jan 06 2020
It's impressive to have a lot of gall or a lot of stones, but if you have both you should probably see a doctor.
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︎ Oct 28 2019
What's more impressive than a talking dog?
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︎ Dec 12 2017
Who is the most impressive guy in a restaurant?
The Waiter
He just brings so much to the table
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︎ Aug 07 2015
The most impressive pyramid scheme was the building of the pyramids.
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︎ Mar 24 2019
It's impressive how much I eat
It leaves my flatmate completely breadless.
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︎ Sep 02 2017
I just finished reading an article about public displays of American patriotism. It was very impressive.
After I was done, I pointed at it and yelled, βYou essay! You essay!β
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︎ Jun 18 2018
The career of a dermatologist is impressive...
considering they all started from scratch.
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︎ Nov 30 2016
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction!
Thanks for the silver!
Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)
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︎ Feb 06 2019
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
π︎ 26
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
π︎ 255
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Interviewer: "I see there's a four year gap on your resume. What were you doing then?" Me: "I went to Yale in 2010" Interviewer: "Impressive! You're hired"
Me: "Thanks. I really need this yob"
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︎ Nov 17 2019
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: That's when I went to Yale... Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired.
Me: Thanks. I really need this yob.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a...
Super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.
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︎ Feb 17 2018
What's more impressive than a talking dog?
π︎ 21
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︎ Nov 04 2016
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