I was going through the checkout when my card didn't work. The cashier said that I should try the card again.
I looked down at my shirt and said, "but I like my polo".
I had to explain it, but once she got it she thought it was hilarious. I'm very proud of this joke.
I'm here all week! Try the veal!
I really want to try Kool-Aid, but...
I can’t figure out how to get 2 quarts of water in that tiny little envelope.
I've offered my elderly neighbour $20 to try out her stair lift.
I think she's going to take me up on it.
The produce person at my grocery store said I should try this vegetable, “It’s out of this world ... radical!” he exclaimed.
In truth, it was just rad-ish.
Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.
Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.
Chemist 2 : takes litmus paper and dips it into the glass
Chemist 1 : You don’t trust me?
Chemist 2 : It was just a lye detector test.
I try to make sure I have the noisiest rifle when I go hunting.
It ensures I get a good bang for my Buck.
I gave a bored king a comedian to try to entertain him
He appreciated the jester
I fall sick every time I try to journal
I must be allergic to diary
If I were you, I wouldn’t try the sushi
I woodn’t try it if I were you...
Been meaning stop here for breakfast...everyone says I have to try their gloryholes.
I went to try my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
I asked you to pretreat those pants, you better not try to make the puppy do it..
or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"
(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)
I thought I'd try my hand at snail racing.
My thinking was that if I take their shells off, that they'd be lighter and quicker.
All it did was make them a bit sluggish.
I asked my wife suggestions for an exercise routine, and she said, “Why don’t you try lunges?”
I said, “That...sounds like a big step.”
My brother wants to try skydiving so I warned him that...
It has so many downfalls.
At Thanksgiving this year I’m going to try to not show my disdain for my Vegan relatives.
They hate it when you have a beef with them. And last year they seemed offended when I gave them the bird.
I try to use the word mucho as much as I can around my Spanish-speaking friends.
I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....
It's all about raisin awareness
I try and keep track of how much toffee I consume.
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.
So I try to eat healthy
But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers
Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'
I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all. Just water it with Kettle One and wok away without really frying. Hopefully it’ll produce a nice stock.
First child born in a couple of weeks so I thought to give it the good ol try. Sometimes when I’m down I go to the mall and use the elevator.
So it can lift me up and make my day better.
I tried to OC.
There’s a new drug going around that is nicknamed “angle”. My friends want to try it with me, but I took a D.A.R.E. course and don’t want to do drugs, so my friends make fun of me.
I guess I’m just too square to try angle.
My wife went to get a pedicure with her mother. She sent me a text saying that they have an exfoliating, foot scrub that has CBD/Hemp oil in it and she was going to try it out...I replied “baby, do you realize that you left the house with slippers on...
But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha
I always try to avoid cracks in the pavement
I try so hard to make puns
But it's always a dad joke
I finally gave Japanese Natto a try
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
I'm tired of the bye-lingual pun. Why aren't there any try-lingual ones?
I heard if you try to put a gun in your mouth and shot, it's not necessarily to make you die
This fact is just mind-blowing.
I always try to push other people at the gym
I once knocked an old woman into a treadmill
I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
"I always try to go the extra mile for my customers."
Said the city's most hated cab driver.
And I will try to Fix You... [OC]
I'll try to cell this one too you...
What did the cell say to it's sibling when she stepped on his toe?
My toe sis...
I decided to try something new and get my wife a box of red hot chili peppers for Valentines
she told me "give it away, give it away, give it away NOW" !
My friend told me if I want to get out of doing the dishes, try dropping some of them. I tried it, it didn't work.
But then during babysitting.
Somebody tries fighting me while I was holding lollipop
Needless to say, he got sucker punched
I took my new gun to the range to try it out, but somehow it won’t work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
I thought I’d try snail racing
My tactic was if I take the shells off, they’ll be lighter and quicker,
All it did was make them a bit sluggish
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