I told him it’s probably because it doesn’t know all the lyrics.
Because they don’t know the words.
Because they can't remember the song
All I could think to say was "Hey Now!"
Now they are in the kitchen making dinner. My husband pulls a box of Uncle Ben's out of the pantry and then grabs a soup ladle off the counter and is now dancing around singing,
laaadle riiiiiiice ladle rice
I made Mary!
It's because they don't know the words.
An electric radish.
I sent mine away 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything since.
Teach it to hum.
A Bah-Hum-Bug
that can't remember the lyrics?
RETIRED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
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June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
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July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
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July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
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August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
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August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
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August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
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August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
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September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
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September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
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October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
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October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
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October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
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October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
- Took a bo
My stepfather and mother have been doing some remodeling in their first house to get it ready to put on the market, so they are fixing up some things, and I was giving them a hand. As we were working we had the radio playing.
My mother notices a light switch on the wall in the bedroom that isn't working quite right. She says, "Honey I think there's something wrong with the light switch."
To which my stepfather replies, "What's wrong with it?"
My mother says, "It's making a weird noise. I think it's humming. Why is the light switch humming?"
My stepfather says, "That's probably because it doesn't know the words."
He then proceeds to take out his dentures, brushes them and whistles.
Granted I'm sure he's collected these from various sources such as Morecambe & Wise, the holy grail of dadjokes.
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I try not to mention donkeys around my dad, otherwise he will say "Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyorelways (he always) says that!"
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If a police car ever drives by and I'm with my dad, he'll get me in a headlock and shout "I've got him!"
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If I ever start a question with "do you know.." he will always reply with "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it"
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If you stand in front of the TV, my dad will tell you "you make a better door than a window."
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If there is ever an ambulance going by with its sirens on, my dad will always say "He'll never sell ice-cream going at that speed."
An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years. He'd had many bees he gave names to, like Buzz or Stripe or Sting. He got a kick out of naming them and he would spend hours with them crawling on his hands, looking at them, holding them gently and humming little songs.
One year, the hive had a new queen, and she was the most magnificent thing he'd ever seen. He usually gave them clever names like Honey, but this one was just too gorgeous for that. He named her Beauty, and he would hum to her everyday as the sun went down.
One day, during a particularly beautiful sunset, the old man was watching his queen as she peddled around in the palm of his hand, singing to her gently, when a gust of wind suddenly blew some debris toward his face. Without thinking, he reacted, moving his hands fast toward his face, and smashed the queen right into his own eye. And so I guess what they say is true, Beauty really is in the eye of the bee holder.
It's true! Unless you swat them. Then they're flat.
Hum-ble Rap.
He replied, “Probably because it doesn’t know all the lyrics.”
Because they forgot the words
Because it doesn't know the words
Because the don't know the words!
Because they forgot the words!
It's because they don't know the words.
It's because they don't know the words.
Because they don't know the words.
because they don't know the words
Because they don’t know the words.
Because they don't know the words.
Because they don't know the words!
why do bees hum??
because they don't know the words
