If Swedish Fish were filled with chocolate and peanut butter, would they be Reese's Pisces?
Did you hear the rumour about butter?
Well I'm not spreading it
So a few years back, my sister forgot to put the butter away and mom was chewing her out because it was ruined.
Seeing an opportunity to break the tension, I called from the living room, "I guess you BUTTER not do that again!"
Mom shouted back that my joke was terrible, but she was laughing too much to stay irritated.
I was going to tell this really good dad joke about butter
But I changed my mind. It's just marginally funny
Ever hear that rumor about butter?
You know what? I probably shouldn't spread it.
Yeah I know this joke is toast.
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
Never mind. I’m not going to spread it.
Going to salvage that stick of butter
True story: My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
Have you heard the joke about butter?
I don't wanna spread it.
Courtesy of my 9 year old.
I can’t believe it’s not butter!
My wife keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter.
How do you measure a red hot chilli pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Peanut butter was driving his toast when suddenly...
What do you call it when you only have a little butter left and you use it all on one last piece of toast?
What kind of monkey is made of chocolate and peanut butter?
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
I got some butter today from my friend's cow, but it tasted just like my own!
I called it my butter from another udder.
A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a rum..............and coke."
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them"
My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.
I told her she would roux the day.
The aliens returned with a butter force.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
Did you hear about the peanut butter factory that exploded?
The Reese’s was in pieces.
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted
A buddhist approaches an hot dog stand and says
“Make me one with everything”
Heard y’all like puns (flies were found dead, butter was found at the grocery store in the dairy isle)
What kind of fish do you put on peanut butter sandwich?
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
I can't believevits not butter
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
I decided to throw a block of butter off my roof today...
I guess i could say that i saw a butterfly
My first reddit for-rum sub mission
Man perishes after falling into a hot vat of coffee
Authorities say it was instant
What do cows call churned cream made from their half-siblings’ milk?
Butter from another udder.
The best bakers use real butter so . . . .
there is no margarine for error.
What do you call a lady's private parts made from sugar, butter and chocolate?
May I interest you in a piping hot bowl of Soupdogg?
I was going to tell a butter joke
But the margarine for error was too big
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
If I told you, you might spread it around.
What do you call hot cereal that's gone before you can eat any?
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Nevermind, I won't spread it.
Did you hear that rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
I really shouldn't spread it...
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well I’m not going to spread it!!!
Have you heard that rumor about butter
Well I am not gonna spread it
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
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