I know some of you might think you're hopeless romantics, but trust me, this says otherwise. [Spoiler]
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👤︎ u/CJPsalm139
📅︎ Jul 10 2019
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They call me a hopeless romantic

Because I’ll never find love

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📅︎ Sep 10 2019
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My wife says I'm a hopeless romantic

and a hopeless handyman, hopeless cook, hopeless husband.

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik
📅︎ Jul 28 2019
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Why are melons sometimes hopeless lovers

Because they cantaloupe

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📅︎ May 05 2018
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What do you call a hopeless romantic who wanders the countryside?

Roam-eo.

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👤︎ u/RhynoCTR
📅︎ Jun 22 2018
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My kids say I’m hopeless at fixing appliances...

Well, they're in for a shock...

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📅︎ Mar 08 2017
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I didn't tie the knot till I was 38

I am hopeless with shoelaces.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 14 2021
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I tried to teach my dog to dance today...

He's hopeless. He's got two left feet.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Nov 14 2020
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An idiot goes walking through the woods...

After a short time, he realizes he is hopelessly lost. He gets hungry, but with no knowledge of a way to gain food, he decides to resort to cannablism. He begins to eat his arm, but soon finds he is satisfied and no longer hungry. This idiot in the woods was full of himself.

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📅︎ Feb 03 2020
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I want to watch a movie where a boy falls in love with a head of lettuce and they live happily ever after

What can I say, I’m a hopeless romaintic

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👤︎ u/aexolthum
📅︎ Dec 04 2018
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Name idea for a fish and chip shop?

We found love in a hopeless plaice.

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👤︎ u/Belcherlot
📅︎ Nov 01 2018
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My Dad just did this to me on a Skype call.

So me and my Dad were skyping as I live in Canada when he pulls this on me

Me: So I am going to be making Ham and Scalloped potatoes tonight

Dad: Oh yea, thats nice

Me: Yup, Ham seems to be going cheap right now so I picked up a nice one.

Dad: What the hell is wrong with your pigs over there. In England its usually the birds that go cheep cheep and the pigs go oink.

Me: Dad, you have problems.

Dad: What you talking about, you're the one with the clucking pigs I think your situation is a tad worse then mine.

Me: sigh You're hopeless.

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👤︎ u/jwishbone
📅︎ Mar 09 2014
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His whole life had built up to that moment.

I was on a college visit with my dad and we were walking through the textiles department. We walk into the loom room, which is a large room full of looms, and I knew immediately that something was coming. I looked at him and gave him a "don't you do it" look. We then walked into the dying room, which is a room where the students dye the fabrics they've just made on the looms. It was hopeless.

"Man, death was only looming in the last room. People are dying all over the place in here."

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👤︎ u/photoast
📅︎ Sep 17 2013
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[x-post /r/Jokes] [OC] An old blacksmith was working in his shop...

when there was a terrible accident. The fire in his forge had gone out of control and set fire to the shop. The blacksmith nearly lost his life. He was bedridden for many months and relied on the help of his children and grandchildren to feed him, bathe him, and take care of all of his needs. Eventually he was able to get back on his feet, though his outlook on life had turned quite grim. He was now able to take care of himself, but he had lost much of his strength and dexterity from the injuries he sustained and he was unable to practice his trade. He fell into a deep depression and he spent most of his days sitting at home in front of the fireplace gazing into the flames, longing for the days when his strong hands could grasp a hammer and strike a hot piece of iron, slowly forging it into a beautiful piece of work.

One evening when the old man was sitting in front of the fire, he heard a knock at the door. It was his granddaughter, whom he hadn't seen in many months. She had overheard her father talking to her mother about how her grandfather was slowly slipping away into depression and hopelessness and she wanted to help. To the old man's surprise, she had brought him a puppy. "I thought that since you're always here all by yourself that you might want someone you keep you company," the granddaughter said. The old man's eyes welled up with tears and the little puppy instantly jumped into his arms and began licking the tears from his face. The old man and his granddaughter spent the next several hours sitting on the floor of his house watching the puppy chase around a rubber ball, bouncing, jumping, panting, and licking. In that short time, the old man had made complete turnaround from being sad, lonely, and hopeless, to smiling from ear to ear, full of joy with his new-found companion. As the hours grew late and the puppy grew tired, the granddaughter said "Well Opa, I'm glad you like your puppy, but it's late and I should be heading home. By the way, what are you going to call him?" "Life," said the old man, "because he has given me a new meaning and joy to mine." The granddaughter kissed her grandfather on the cheek, wished him goodnight, and she left.

Many years passed and all the while, the old man and his little dog were inseparable. Everywhere the old man went, Life was always with him whether it was the post office, the grocery store, and even when the old man went to the barber shop, the little dog would sit patiently until the last hair on

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Aug 27 2016
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At the dinner table

MUM: "I'm going to be old and hopeless soon"

DAD: "Yeah, you're absolutely youthless"

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📅︎ Aug 11 2014
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