Haile Puns

...which was "Thirsty".

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/96/SmirnovVS_KnMihailChern.jpg

Hailing taxis.

Precipitation awards.

I got to my destination uber quickly

Me: "Hail yeah."

20 hail marys? Who does he think I am Aaron Rodgers?

It's just easier to inhail

"What was that for?" I asked, shocked.

To which he replied, "Hey, that's what I do best. I drive people away."

The Possums. The play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Current events make it less attractive.

All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop

My parents were visiting me in Colorado and it began to hail on our way to happy hour and my dad's response was, "AH HAIL NO!"

Me: "Hail is scary, it falls so fast it can seriously harm you or kill you."

Dad: "Yeah, but there's a way to protect yourself from it. You just look up at the sky and yell 'OH HAIL NO'"

Referring to the news channel's explanation of the tornado warning in Sacramento, CA, my dad yelled sarcastically from downstairs:

"Half dollar sized hail!...how much does a piece of hail cost?!"

I could practically hear the look on his face when I didn't respond.

I recently went with a bunch of friends to see a hockey game at the University of Michigan. If you don't know, everyone who goes to that school is obsessed with their fight song which is titled "Hail to the Victors".

Anyway, we get outside the arena and then a torrential downpour starts. Our group runs underneath a bus stop awning thing to wait out the storm.

Then loud cracks start to be heard. Frozen rain has started to fall everywhere.

We look around at each other.

"Hey guys..." I say.

Everyone tenses up. I see the disappointment on their faces. They know what is about to come out of my mouth.

"Hail to the Victors!"

His Royal Highness, the Prince of Puns, the Duke of Dadjokes, King Phil of Dumphy. http://imgur.com/lrjFHzz

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/661a77b3da/norm-macdonald-trolls-the-bob-saget-roast

I tip him occasionally when he hails cabs for me.

I guess you could say that there's...

white mail privilege

It really ill-annoys them.

Hail Caesar

Someone shouted “All hail the king”

That way when people see me they’ll shout “Hail Yeah!”

But I don’t know weather or not to believe it.

They were starving hungry, and finally, they see a tree in the distance draped in bacon.

“Look!” says one of the cowboys, “It’s a bacon tree – we’re saved!”.

He runs towards the tree but is suddenly shot down in a hail of bullets.

With his last dying breath he stutters:

“It’s-It’s-It’s not a bacon tree... it’s-it’s a ham bush!”

Hailing taxis!

Hailing taxis!

Hailing taxis

Hailing taxis!

Hailing taxis