Two criminals are caught and tried and found guilty
One a rapist and one a conman. The mayor decides to have them punished for their crime in a way that reflects their crimes and also make some money for the city. He sets them in stocks and charges $2 to punch the conman in the face and $5 to kick the rapist in the balls. The line goes around the block all day.
By the end of the day the conman can barely be recognized. Someone pays $2 walks up and kicks him in the balls instead.
The mayor yells โStop you canโt do that!โ The guy asks โwhy not heโs still a criminal?โ
The mayor says, โthis is the punch line.โ
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︎ Jun 13 2021
Yโknow what really grinds my gears?
Malfunctioning machinery.
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︎ May 29 2021
What was the child who wouldnโt nap guilty of?
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︎ Apr 19 2021
Sudden realization about the X-men:
When Gambit fights, he throws hands.
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︎ Jun 29 2021
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
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︎ May 05 2021
I saw some tiny people are trying to steal a gear!
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︎ Jun 06 2021
What does it sound like when Harry Potter kicks it into high gear?
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︎ Jun 10 2021
Whyโd the chicken scratch an โXโ in the bike path?
He was trying to cross the road.
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︎ Jul 09 2021
His X couldnโt stand it
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︎ Jun 07 2021
(X-post) A man was found guilty of electrifying a guy to his death.
The charge was quite severe.
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︎ Dec 26 2018
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
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︎ Jan 25 2021
How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for X-mas?
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︎ May 31 2021
Iโm guilty as charged!
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︎ Sep 12 2020
The doctor said the X-ray was negative.
I was like, โarenโt they all?โ
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︎ Jun 14 2021
Why did the 2 x 4 get sent to his room?
It was knotty! Hey YO!!!! (I really am sorryโฆ)
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︎ May 26 2021
Can a dog run an x-ray?
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︎ Jun 05 2021
If we have the show "X-Files", Chris Hanson's "To Catch a Predator" could be called "Pedo-Files".
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︎ May 29 2021
Frog
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︎ May 31 2021
Professor X: What's your superpower?
Me: Hindsight
Professor X: Well that won't be much help to us...
Me: Yes I see that now.
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︎ Apr 15 2021
You know what grinds my gears?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
I always get nostalgic putting my car in reverse.
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︎ Jun 11 2021
What do you call an otolaryngologist that is found guilty of malpractice?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
what album do X-Ray doctors listen to most of the time
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︎ Jun 14 2021
What is the longest sentece you can get by using two words?
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︎ Jun 07 2021
My mom was a radiologist. She met my dad when he came in for an X-ray.
I wonder what she saw in him.
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︎ May 06 2021
I once dated an X-Ray Tech. It didnโt work out.
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︎ May 29 2021
Why can't a Jedi solve the integral of 1/x?
Because only siths deal in absolutes.
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︎ May 27 2021
you know what drives old people up the wall?
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︎ Mar 08 2021
Did you hear about the banana that was found guilty?
He is currently appealing his case.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
With Lil Nas X's Satan Shoes, the devil can finally steal our soles.
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︎ Mar 30 2021
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Lil Nas X sold his sole to make these nike shoes with a drop of human blood
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︎ Mar 28 2021
lil Nas X sold his sole to the devil..
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︎ Apr 03 2021
You know what really grinds my gears?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I jokingly told my X-ray technician that I didn't believe in X-rays...
but she saw right through me.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Which President was the least guilty?
Abraham Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Why did the snake plead guilty?
He didn't have a leg to stand on.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
What do call a bike trail that shows no empathy.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Mary Queen of Scots. My favorite one, but She was found guilty of high treason and the Head of the Monarchy was then..
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole
Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.
Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
*Slap knee* repeat x 5
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︎ Jul 02 2020
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that Iโm an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
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︎ Nov 01 2020
What was it called the very first time a mathematician solved 1/cosecant(x)
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︎ Feb 17 2021
You know what grinds my gears?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
You know what really grinds my gears?
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︎ Nov 09 2020
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
โThis takes me back.โ
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Do you want to know what really grinds my gears?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
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