Two criminals are caught and tried and found guilty
One a rapist and one a conman. The mayor decides to have them punished for their crime in a way that reflects their crimes and also make some money for the city. He sets them in stocks and charges $2 to punch the conman in the face and $5 to kick the rapist in the balls. The line goes around the block all day.
By the end of the day the conman can barely be recognized. Someone pays $2 walks up and kicks him in the balls instead.
The mayor yells “Stop you can’t do that!” The guy asks “why not he’s still a criminal?”
The mayor says, “this is the punch line.”
Y’know what really grinds my gears?
Malfunctioning machinery.
What was the child who wouldn’t nap guilty of?
Sudden realization about the X-men:
When Gambit fights, he throws hands.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
I saw some tiny people are trying to steal a gear!
What does it sound like when Harry Potter kicks it into high gear?
Why’d the chicken scratch an “X” in the bike path?
He was trying to cross the road.
(X-post) A man was found guilty of electrifying a guy to his death.
The charge was quite severe.
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for X-mas?
The doctor said the X-ray was negative.
I was like, “aren’t they all?”
Why did the 2 x 4 get sent to his room?
It was knotty! Hey YO!!!! (I really am sorry…)
If we have the show "X-Files", Chris Hanson's "To Catch a Predator" could be called "Pedo-Files".
Professor X: What's your superpower?
Me: Hindsight
Professor X: Well that won't be much help to us...
Me: Yes I see that now.
You know what grinds my gears?
I always get nostalgic putting my car in reverse.
What do you call an otolaryngologist that is found guilty of malpractice?
what album do X-Ray doctors listen to most of the time
What is the longest sentece you can get by using two words?
My mom was a radiologist. She met my dad when he came in for an X-ray.
I wonder what she saw in him.
I once dated an X-Ray Tech. It didn’t work out.
Why can't a Jedi solve the integral of 1/x?
Because only siths deal in absolutes.
you know what drives old people up the wall?
Did you hear about the banana that was found guilty?
He is currently appealing his case.
With Lil Nas X's Satan Shoes, the devil can finally steal our soles.
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
Lil Nas X sold his sole to make these nike shoes with a drop of human blood
lil Nas X sold his sole to the devil..
You know what really grinds my gears?
I jokingly told my X-ray technician that I didn't believe in X-rays...
but she saw right through me.
Which President was the least guilty?
Abraham Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.
Why did the snake plead guilty?
He didn't have a leg to stand on.
What do call a bike trail that shows no empathy.
Mary Queen of Scots. My favorite one, but She was found guilty of high treason and the Head of the Monarchy was then..
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole
Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.
Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
What was it called the very first time a mathematician solved 1/cosecant(x)
You know what grinds my gears?
You know what really grinds my gears?
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
Do you want to know what really grinds my gears?
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