At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, β€œI like it well done.”

I said, β€œThanks. That means a lot.”

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?

I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."

Note: this really happened.

πŸ‘︎ 361
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LemonAdeAid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
At a garage sale yesterday I got a George Foreman grill and a Muhammed Ali DVD set...

Both boxed.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
It took me two hours to grill a chicken the other day…

And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road…

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
"We're here to offer support, not to grill you," they said at my review meeting.

"Like a bra, not a braai"

  • Based on true events. I had to stop myself from blurting that out.

  • Thanks to u/rumbustiousben for reminding me that not everyone knows what a braai is - it's a barbecue in Afrikaans and commonly used as part of English by South Africans

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wcsoon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried grilled Aloe Vera at a restaurant today.

It was succulent.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedrivingcat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished grilling a steak.

It refuses to tell me who it’s working for.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was going to barbecue baby backs but fell in the way to the grill...

He broke his ribs.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I am grilling tonight. I don't know how these sausages will turn out...

but I am expecting the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...

Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What will a chinese grill use when a wok is too slow

A wun

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dred_not
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when chickens lay eggs at the top of a hill?

Egg rolls

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monk who steals a grilled cheese sandwich right off the griddle?

Out of the frying pan and into the friar.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allymeow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife that I don’t go by my real name while grilling

I go by Sir Loin

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A bear walks into a restaurant and says, "I'd like a grilled.......... cheese"

The waiter responds: "what's with the big pause? "

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poops-n-farts
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Me to home Depot employee: I want to see your grills

Home Depot employee who happens to be Nelly who has fallen on hard times: you want to see my what?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
While I was grilling, my son asked "can I get pickles on my burger, If it's not too much to ask?"

Me: It's not a big dill

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwanni
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I had breakfast at The Mesa Grill and got food poisoning. My lawyer said that I had a good case, but I'm a man.

I just didn't wanna sue Flay.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a refrigerated grilled cheese?

Chilled grease!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I took all my daughter’s dolls and lined them up by the window facing our grill

I was just preparing a Barbie Queue

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DownloadToaster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
We should grill this message into people
πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Just finished cleaning my grill.

It was grate.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanJoe07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dad and a grill?

A grill runs out of gas

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tawkins
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call a Sea creature that only cares about himself?

A Selfish

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BananoGamer9000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Being made out of gold, in fact, this is not like the other grills
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/delphius356
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar and grill...

The bartender says, "hey."

The horse says, "neigh. But I'll take some Quick Oats for the road."

The asphalt in the corner says, "thanks."

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My neighbor had a BBQ party, and some guest threw a grill at his face.

The attack made headlines.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
No smoking zone
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
So I asked my dad if he pre-cooked the grilled chicken.

He responded with, β€œIt’s not walking away.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewritingrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
While riding down the road today, a fish jumped out of a boat that was being towed, and smashed into the front of my car.

It wasn't all bad though, I love grilled fish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't bearlieve it. Also notice that the place is called Bear Grills.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoNamedBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Invest in grills!

They're hot steakholders!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call a lawyer's grill party?

Barbesue

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a unit for every bar and grill for one waiting line?

It’s bar per queue

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chiefgotbeef
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
One day when I was young, I watched my father grill burgers.

When they were done he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger. He then left and never came back.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueHat13
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Was out in the backyard grilling some burgers for my daughter and her friends but they'd lined up a bunch of dolls to get food too

It was a barbie queue

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadnav
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy that couldn’t start his grill, so he added kerosene?

Still didn’t work. His doctor had him on anti-inflammatories.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I was grilling pizza for dinner tonight...

I was explaining the steps and process to my daughter.

I asked her, "do you know what you call the important and precious moments just before you burn the crust?"

She shook her head no.

"....Crunch time...."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordHammerCock
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A dad Manning the grill at a backyard bbq. Son approaches...

Son: "Dad? Can you make me a burger?"

Dad: "Sure! (waives tongs like a magic wand) POOF! You're a burger!"

(Dad laughing hysterically. Son rolls eyes)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darknighten89
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I keep a spare grilled tortilla with cheese sandwich in my fridge.

It's a just-in-quesadilla.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MantisGuy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Couldn’t figure out when sunrise was supposed to be this morning

Luckily it finally dawned on me.

πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Got a big 12 pound brisket on the grill today, and several more dad jokes in the chamber. Doin dad stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife wouldn't stop nagging me about not helping cook the chicken on the grill

So I angrily got up and flipped the bird

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackymon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
At the office barbecue, I grilled a medium rare steak and my boss said, β€œI like it well done!”

I said, β€œThanks. That means a lot to me.”

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A grizzly bear walks into a restaurant and says β€œCan I get a grilled..............cheese?”

The waiter replies β€œWhy the big pawse?”

...

β€œBecause I’m a bear”

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewFound_Fury
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
It took me two hours to grill a chicken the other day…

And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road…

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
For sale: George Foreman grill and a Muhammad Ali dvd.

Both boxed

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pmak13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill.

Looks like she is preparing some kind of barbie queue.

πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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