People think Gaston was just an arrogant goon

But he actually won a no-Belle prize.

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📅︎ Oct 26 2017
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my girlfriend says she's only with me because

i'm great at punnilingus

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📅︎ May 11 2019
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I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.

When I punched him he ran, goon.

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📅︎ Feb 23 2019
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I was given a perfect set-up last night.

Last night my two year old says to me "Daddy, my toe hurts"

"That's too bad buddy," I reply. "Do you want me to call a tow truck for you?"

Then I laughed like a goon while my wife made a disgusted face at me.

👍︎ 805
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📅︎ Mar 21 2014
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