Golden Gate Puns

She said, “What would you do when you finally see it?”

I said, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”

My wife said, “What are you going to do when you finally see it?”

Me: I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

Because the little moron was a little more on.

The jump of a lifetime.

Because it's already long enough

It takes a toll on everybody.

HI I’m Tim the turtle, yes a real turtle. And I would like to tell you the story of my best friend. I once had a friend by the name of Sam. Sam of course was a clam. A real live honest to goodness clam. He was my best buddy, but unfortunately he smoked and drank and ran around with loose women (and a few men). I was more of the goodie two shoes type. I never drank, never smoked, I didn’t even swear. But for some reason Sam and I were the best of friends. I guess you can say we were the epitome of opposites attracting. One day as we were hanging out walking along the beach Sam, after his fifth cigarette in a row, had a heart attack and died. I was heart broken. My best friend died right there in front of me and he never repented his evil ways. I was sure he would spend eternity in damnation. Sigh. Being the goodie two shoes type I was still extremely healthy well into my old age. I missed my friend terribly for many years. On his birthday I would host a party and invite his old stripper girlfriends and poker buddies around to relive stories. It was always a fun evening, but in the end left me more lonely than before. Eventually, my broken heart couldn’t stand it anymore and I too died. I was pleased to find that there was a heaven. Being an almost saint I was whisked directly past the line to the Pearly Gates to be greeted by St. Peter. A big grin erupted on his face and he came right around his desk to give me a great big hug. “Tim”, he said, “You have been such a good person back on earth that God has asked me to grant you any wish you would like before even entering heaven”. To say I was flabbergasted is an understatement. I thought for a minute, I guess God expected me to ask for more time on earth, but I knew what I really wanted to do was to visit with my old friend Sam. So I asked. Poor St. Peter didn’t know what to say. You know Sam is in Hell right? Well I knew that was a strong possibility so I wasn’t surprised. Peter excused himself for a while and went to check with the big guy himself. He was gone quite some time, but eventually he returned. Peter said my request was approved, but under a few conditions. First, I would have to carry a golden harp as a passport back into heaven. This harp could only be carried by a good soul so I couldn’t be replaced by a look alike demon. Second, I would have to return by midnight. God didn’t want me to face too much temptation. I agreed to these conditions and took the highway down to hell. (Nope n

We had finished walking the Golden Gate Bridge and were in our car. I took off my shoes and noticed that my socks had holes in them.

"I didn't know you had religious socks," he said to me.

"What?" I replied.

"You know, because they're holy."

Why did the chicken refuse to cross the Golden Gate Bridge?

He found it to suspenseful.

I randomly made this one up to bug my son. Told it to him in front of several of his friends. The got it. But they didn't like it. I still find it funny.

She asked me, “What are you going to do when you see it?”

I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

She asked me, “What are you going to do when we see it?”

Me: We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

She said, “ What are you going to do when you finally see it?”

I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

Her: What would you do when we see it?

Me: Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.

Her: What are you going to do when we see it?

Me: We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

So the wife and me were excited to see the golden gate in person. So the wife asks me, "what are we gonna do when we get there?" And I replied, "we'll cross that bridge when we get there"