Did you ever wonder why Peter Pan is always flying?
It’s because he can never never land
Peter Parker got a new day job
Kevin James and Peter Dinklage walk into a bar
One's a heavy drinker, the other's a little drunk
Why are Peter Pan's lost boys always out of work?
They can Never Land a job!
Wife: Dad, stop using the name Peter in the place of Penis. One day the kids will meet a kid named Peter.
Me (husband): I agree. This should be kept private.
Wife: groan...
Prince Phillip is standing next to DMX in line for St. Peter, he's says "50?"
DMX respond "naw dawg that's a different rapper"
My weekend project was to make a maze out of kitchenware
I call it pan’s labyrinth.
After a bad diy project, a load of books fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.
Currently working on a new project- Twitter: The Movie
My son refused to do a video project with another student at school. I asked why he was so opposed to it and he said.....
Jesus told Peter, "Come forth and ye shall have eternal life"
But Peter came fifth and won a toaster
"Okay rookie, the first thing you've got to learn about making pornography for the blind is: Voice Projection."
"That sounds hard."
"Thank you. I'm a professional."
Contractor walks to the corner of a new project
Says, “from the right angle this looks great!”
I have a pet horse named Mayo, and he keeps me up at night...
all throughout the night, Mayo neighs :(
Peter Brown the world famous hairdresser told his son, that he's leaving him nothing in his will....
I can't believe he's cutting off his own heir.
It's impressive to have a lot of gall or a lot of stones, but if you have both you should probably see a doctor.
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he can neverland.
What did Peter Andre say to the waitress at Oktoberfest?
Just give me some kind of stein girl.
Peter Parker lost his photographer job at the Daily Bugle
Now he works in web development.
This popped in my head a few days ago. Why did the baker freak out after his latest project?
Because what he made was stolen!
If Spiderman's secret identity is Peter Parker, what's his dog's secret identity?
My friend Peter keeps saying the same things over again.
So I nicknamed him Re-Peter.
"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. What’s left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"
I never knew that Peter Sellers was a tank driver for Germany during WW2.
Apparently, it was a pink panzer.
Pete & Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?
Repeat.
Ok. Pete & Repete were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?
Repeat….?
Ok. Pete & Repete were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?…
My grandpa’s favorite joke. (Peter 5)
What did Jesus say to Peter when he was put up on the Cross?
Yo, I can see your house from up here
Wife: "I accidentally fell asleep while grading my student's projects."
Me: "I guess everyone's getting Z's"
Couldn't believe I got funding for my new bedding and rope project.
Just realized I'm only attracted to lost boys
I think I might be Peter Pansexual
Lancelot: Men, this is a project where we all need to work together.
Arthur: Unite?
Lancelot: Yes I am.
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.
Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.
Zuul asks Peter Venkman if he wants to wreck up a city and toast marshmallows in the flames.
Venkman says, "Nah, I'm not a big marshmallow guy."
How did Captain Hook fight Peter Pan & the lost boys?
What do you call a fuzzy ceramics project?
Despite being famous for flying, why did Peter Pan make for a terrible pilot?
Peter Dinklage turned 51 today.
It's been fun watching Dinkl age.
What do you call a bear that jumps, but never lands?
I need help coming up with “bear” puns for a school project
Trying to think these up has been unbearable
Why Peter Pan always flying?
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he can never, never land
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
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