My best friend gave me this today because I'm obsessed with pigs & it is the best card I've ever gotten.
reddit.com/gallery/lkaalp
My friend told me that drinking beer would make him smarter....
But, I don't think anything would make my Budweiser.
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
My lumberjack friend told me that he'd cut down a total of 13,207 trees.
When I asked how he managed to keep count,
He replied, "I keep a log"
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
I had a friend who smoked weed on Mount Everest.
He told me he was really high.
Texas weather is making my best friend hilarious
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables.
Given to my friend who is a woodworker
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a "get well soon" card.
All my hispanic friends love it when I say “mucho.”
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.
Toucan play at that game.
My friend: Did you heard about the Italian man who died recently, he pasta way
Me: Thats very sad. Venice the funeral?
(Please excuse my poor english as it is not my first language)
Edit: I am not a dad, I am a 15 year old teen
Edit 2: Thank you u/Mnt2bdaddy for the wholesome award.
It’s been years since the show ended, and I’m a little annoyed that people are still making ‘Friends’ references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
A friend opened a strip club called the G.Spot...
It closed after a week as most men couldn't find it.
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
A friend was grating parmesan cheese over pasta and said the cheese looked like a polygon.
I said, "Well, if you keep grating it, soon it will be all gone."
Juan's friends and family always tell him how to live his life, but he's been doing some solitary soul searching
Because it takes Juan to know Juan
My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”
It was a third degree burn.
BBC article about a fox and its friend
I’m planning a paint themed party for my friend, any paint/art themed puns I can use for the invitations?
My friend wanted to show me a dad joke on here
I just haven’t reddit yet
Edit: omg i never expected this to do so good, i usually get 3/4 upvotes, thank you all so much!!
Pulled this off on my friend Lmao
My best friend is a monkey.
My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...
It made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean!
Aloe-v you so much little friend
Friend: “You told me you were interesting, but you’re literally always in bed”
Me: “I said I was INTO RESTING!”
My friend's 4 year old said this one: Why did the dad cross the road?
"I need a bar built in my garden," I told my friend in the pub. "But I don't know who to ask."
"Well," he replied, "I'll do it if you pay me £400."
So I gave him £400, and he said, "Right, I'll start asking around."
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River
I told him thats bat shit in Seine
My friend told me I could make six figures a year by becoming a sculptor
He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled.
My friend didn’t like my souper pun
My friend David lost his ID today
My friend gave me a book about social media as a gift.
Unfortunately, I already Reddit.
I told my Friend a story
It was about a dinosaur. I can't get into it right now, it was a long tail
My Korean friend died last week...
My friend who is a snake charmer is marrying an undertaker.
I bought them some 'Hiss and Hearse' towels as a wedding gift.
My friend got a role as an extra in a film. His job was to approach the lead actor and comb her hair away from the middle of her head...
My friend just caught covid from his cat
Get it. guys... ( none of my friends laughing)
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.
He was a danger to himself and udders.
My friend asked me if Princess Bride jokes are still a thing
I said, “they’re mostly dead”
A friend of mine is a dermatologist
He started his career from scratch.
My friend asked me to meet him at the music store in 45.
I got there in 33, which is record speed.
I have a good friend who wears clothes made of nothing but carpet.
My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...
It really made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe leannnnnnn.... 🎶
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
