"Fool me once - I'm mad. Fool me twice - How could you? Fool me three times - You're officially that guy, okay?"
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"
April Fools Jokes don’t get any big laughs in Hawaii.
They only get a low ‘Ha’.
I really need to stop looking at the internet today. Everything seems to be an April Fool's gag.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Beacuse it wasn't born yesterday.
There’s a sailor who is always finding fool’s gold
We call him the iron pirate.
My favorite Christmas songs are Respect and Chain of Fools.
They're Christmas music because they're sung by A-wreath-a Franklin.
I pity the fool who doesnt get this pun!!
“Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
How do you fool an idiot into expecting something funny?
Easter and April Fools’ are on the same day this year.
For efficiency, send your kids to look for eggs that you haven’t hidden.
A bad workman blames his fools...
EDIT: tools
...stupid keyboard...
What do you call a guy who posts a joke on April Fools
My name is Tyler. Yesterday I got an email addressed to “Yler”. I pity the fool who makes a mistake like that.
People say I'm not quite a fool
When I was walking down the street, I ran into a celebrity with a Mohawk and jewelry. He looked at me and said, “I piy the fool!”
I said, “Hey, you missed a T.”
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
Why can't you fool a 2 day old baby?
They weren't born yesterday
April Fools
One April Fools eve, my wife went to bed early. Just shortly after 12:01am, I went in to bed. I noticed I woke her up and I immediately said, “Can you make the kids lunch?” She was so pissed at me and stormed out the bedroom only to find the kids lunch already made in the fridge! AAAAAppppprrrriiiilll FFFooooooolllllllllsss!!
Edit: Didn’t get laid that night.
I'm way, way too proud of my company's April Fool's bit: YOUcalyptus™, a brand new brand by Sheets & Giggles™
imgur.com/gallery/JolTuiG
Smiling like a fool, lifting her veil, looking longingly into my beloved's eyes, I whispered, "A...E...I...O...U...and sometimes Y."
The priest then turned to her.
"And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"
Are those cut out lungs? Or did they fool us with stake?
Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fool’s
They were literally born yesterday!
Google on April fool's day 🙃
So April Fool's falls on a Monday this year.
How to fool....
People into clicking on your post.
April fools joke 2014
I passed my co workers a note that said that they missed a call from "Mr. Baer," and attached the callback number as the direct line to the local zoo.
Played out like this -
"Your local zoo, how can I help you?"
"yes, hello, I'd like to speak with Mr Baer..... facepalm I think I have the wrong number..."
Ahoy mateys, there's Fool's Gold in Cuba, Trinidad and Jamaica.
Arr, they be the Pyrites of the Caribbean.
Fool me once shame on you, teach a man to fool me and I’ll be fooled for the rest of my life
Lenten season this year started on Valentine's day, ended on April Fools'. It's like a sweet, sappy love story that ended up being a joke.
What are some of your favorite April Fools day pranks to play on friends/ SOs?
So he was born on April Fool's Day
One of the kids in my high school class was born on April's Fool and his dad missed his birth because when his mom called to say she was in labour he laughed and hung up on her.
What drink fools and hurts you?
Son: Dad, was this all an April Fool's prank?
Dad: No, it was just a normal prank
A bit late, but I dadjoked my dad for April Fools.
A Dad-tastic April Fools joke
This morning my friend and I were exchanging conversation about what our dad's usually do to prank us on April 1st. My dad always calls and says he was in a horrible car accident and broke a limb. It's never funny, but he laughs and laughs so I go with it. My friends Dad however is a classic Dad-joke type of Dad. This year, my friend tells me:
>Friend: My dad said Mr. Lion called for me
>Me: Mr. Lion eh?
>Friend: Yea he gave me a number to call, but I haven't called it yet.
>Me: I'll call!
I get the number from him, and the automated message service for the San Diego Zoo clicks on.
It's pun-tastic, a fun, and non aggravating April Fools joke.
Copped this classic April fools prank from dad this morning.
Bursts into room
"QUICK GET UP YOU'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL!"
"Yeah yeah, April fools, you got me."
"Haha, damn, thought i'd be able to scare you"
I had forgotten to set my alarm last night, it was 9am and i was actually late for school. My respect for my dad at least tripled today.
My wife told me I was a fool to try and build a car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.
Pranking my kids for April Fools [OC]
So I created a brochure for a fake camp that I will be sending my two boys off to. Link in the comments.
I just thought of a really good April Fool's prank....
...but then I realized that it's July, so I say "Awww April has already passed!"
My dad says, "Oh, I didn't even know she was sick!"
Yesterday, I ran into a Hollywood celebrity, who kept yelling , “I piy the fool!”
I said, “Hey, you missed a T.”
I ran into a Hollywood celebrity at a bar. He had a mullet and kept yelling, “I piy the fool! I piy the fool!”
I said, “Hey, you missed a t.”
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