Those were the Good Years.
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I’ll never forget it. A great mussel memory.
They didn’t pay their electric bills either.
But the role is beginning to grow on me
The people always seem to be cooler
It was fun serfing the waves!
He wants to make America graty again.
Call that some NOStalgia
Mostly beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
Well, one is an orphan and the other is an ore fan.
Moonshine.
Dad: You'd think it would be the arrrrm, but he's rather fond of the booty!
It was just two cell mates who felon love
My dad had a real goofy and dadly sense of humor. He past a way about 4 years ago but all the jokes here remind me of the ones he used to make. I'm smiling so hard as I go through these.
One of my favorites was the mole joke: One day a house near a molehill was making pancakes. Daddy mole comes up, sniffs, and says,"I smell pancakes." Mamma mole pops up next to him, sniffs, and says I smell pancakes too!" Baby mole hears his parents but can't get past their rear ends. So he says,"All I smell is molasses!"
7 year old me was in tears every time!
I told her, "Me neither. I prefer adventils."
I asked if it was ba-a-a-ad.
My wife insisted I grow a goatee to which I reluctantly agreed. She asked me how I felt about it today
Her: So you getting used to your new look yet?
Me: Well it's obviously grown on me
Laugh I thought I'd die,
Die, they'd bury me.
Bury me, there's worms,
Worms, they tickle.
Laugh, I thought I'd die.
But I’m very fond of Minnesota.
The contractor was adamant that whatever was in the box would not go in the building at any cost. The plumber insisted he was just trying to do his job and that it was imperative that the box go into the master bathroom. The contractor turned him away despite warnings that there would be consequences. Upon hearing this, the owner of the building got angry and hired a new contractor. The new contractor also wouldn't allow the contents of the large box into the building. He was also fired and a new contractor hired. This contractor was a fun person, giving the workers breaks and buying them lunch. Out of fondness, the workers warned him that when plumber comes, he should allow the box to go into the building. So the contractor asked how important the contents of the box were and the workers replied, "Two people have been fired for not listening to the plumber, just let that sink in"
Because I'm quite fond of these: ""
When my brother and I were little, we put out milk and cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeers on Christmas eve, and woke up on Christmas morning to find them mostly eaten. We were delighted at proof of our nighttime visitors.
The next year our dad told us he had gotten an inside tip from the north pole: that Santa actually liked ramen and beer, not milk and cookies (as other, less well informed, dads and kids had always thought).
For years, we dutifully cooked ramen, put it on a table by the fireplace with a cold beer on the side, and woke up to the ramen and beer having been consumed in the night.
I knew my dad wasn't fond of milk or cookies, but it wasn't until later that we connected the dots and found out the deal about Santa. My dad was the one who ate the Santa food once we went to bed, and he had secretly convinced us to prepare his ideal midnight snack for as long as we believed in Santa.
2: an inside and an outside.
He was also fond of:
What looks like half a butterfly?
The other half.
I'm starting a blog as a disabled writer consisting of anecdotal posts about the funny, but unusual circumstances my disability and wheelchair put me in. Any names that come to mind? Particularly fond of blogs titles like Laughing at My Nightmare and Bag Lady Moma. I'm in a wheelchair and have 24/7 care, my disability is Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA)... go as wild as you like
Dig a hole and surround it with peas; When he goes to take a pea, you kick him in the hole!
My dad has been telling that one for at least 15 years.
The wind was high and dirt blew on us. As everyone was rubbing their eyes I said "one day we'll all look back on this day fondly. I'm sedimental like that." Groans ensued.
When dad was tired he'd always say "I'm so T-U-R-D 'tired' I could F-A-R-T 'faint'"
Sadly/fondly I think of this every time I feel worn out.
Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big!
Technically one my mom was fond of telling, but it fits.
So, I saw a joke about a kid asking his Dad to make him a sandwich and it reminded me of something my Dad always told me.
Me: Dad, I'm hungry......can you make me a sandwich?
Dad: I'm not familiar with Mea Sandwiches, but I think there is some ham left.
At the time I always groaned, but now I look back on it fondly.
Hello fellow pun connoisseurs,
Friends of mine just recently had a bit of a shotgun wedding. I'm vowing to prepare a statement for them in celebration The bride is particularly fond of puns. While I've been grooming myself for this for some time, any matrimonial/wedding puns that I might consider would be much appreciated. It would be the best, man!
Dad: Hey son, isn't your friend Jeff dyslexic?
Me: Yessir
Dad: And you go to church with him?
Me: Yeah we carpool, his grandma drives us.
Dad: So he's Christian, and he's dyslexic?
Me: Dad, what's your point?
Dad: I just wanna know, does that mean he believes in Dog?
And he thought is was the funniest damn thing ever. Fond memories though.
He was fond of kermit-mints
Dad: I'm not really fond of my beard.
Skip: Well, why do you have it then?
Dad: I guess you can say, it grew on me.
Skip: ...
Nurse: Aren't you hot in there?
Grandpa: I haven't gone to hell just yet.
Nurse: laughs Where are your feet?
Grandpa: At the end of me legs.
This was in 1998. He was bundled up in some blankets, and the nurse was about to change his socks. And yes, he said 'me legs'. Not sure if that qualifies as a dad joke exactly, but it's a fond memory.
My old man is fond of smacking my siblings and I in the back of the head and when asked, "What was that for?" he will generally reply, "For awhile." He will also make people repeat themselves several times by pretending he couldn't hear them.
I'm not too fond of this haircut, but I'm sure it will grow on me
My wife and I found out she is 8 weeks along yesterday! So I was at work, and a coworker mentioned that she had a pet deer as a child. I told her "Wow you had a pet deer? Your parents must have been pretty fond of her."
So I'm over at this girls place and she wasn't too fond of my scruff at first as its kinda rough to kiss with (for her). The next morning when I woke up she said:
"Your beard is kinda growing on me"
Me: "It's growing on me too!"
I responded "No, he was joeseph ever day in January! " My teacher isn't too fond of me.
It's called "Buddha, That Fat Bastard".
He used to tell me to tell it to all of my friends and I always had to remind him that none of them had been born when "The Satanic Verses" came out. Though he may be gone, my dad's fondness for terrible jokes lives on in me.
Those were the Good Years.
Those were the Good Years.
Those were the Good Years.
Those were the Good Years.
The contractor was adamant that whatever was in the box would not go in the building at any cost. The plumber insisted he was just trying to do his job and that it was imperative that the box go into the master bathroom. The contractor turned him away despite warnings that there would be consequences. Upon hearing this, the owner of the building got angry and hired a new contractor. The new contractor also wouldn't allow the contents of the large box into the building. He was also fired and a new contractor hired. This contractor was a fun person, giving the workers breaks and buying them lunch. Out of fondness, the workers warned him that when plumber comes, he should allow the box to go into the building. So the contractor asked how important the contents of the box were and the workers replied, "Two people have been fired for not listening to the plumber, just let that sink in"
