Fantastic pun, Al
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clapton_Coil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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A Fantastic Pun.
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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Fantastic pun from Wait Wait Don't Tell Me

They were discussing an advent calendar which had angered people because the part of Baby Jesus was played by a sausage.

One of the panelists, I think Mo Rocca, quipped that people were frank-incensed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
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[request] my wife will be going into labor soon.

Would you guys be willing to please give me some fantastic puns/dad jokes for the delivery room to make the occasion extra memorable? Thanks in advance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supergnaw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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BL3 with Tomato Jokes? | Falls, Fails & Funny Moments | Psycho Krieg & the Fantastic Fustercluck DLC youtu.be/Je2l0OxQl8E
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Super_Sar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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this is fantastic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SouthernJoe24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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It turns out that Ron's cameo had nothing to with the real plot of Fantastic Beasts.

It was quite a good red herring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedNas07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Plastic fantastic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/learjet2014
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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My wife and I had a fantastic wedding

Even our cake was in tiers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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Why can't the blind man see his friends?

He's married.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benevolentdespots
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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What's the day after Thanksgiving?

Yourewelcomegiving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catchpen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDogAlex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Why cant bri'ish people pronounce t?

Because they drank it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eboy_Elmo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My Dad works in the ceiling fan industry

He says it's Fantastic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/junkboatfloozy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I hate being bipolar..

It's fantastic!

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontmeenafing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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This is fantastic v.redd.it/7k5p6jemzf821
πŸ‘︎ 289
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonah-1903
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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This is fantastic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yryang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Fatherhood is the best

Way better than fatherhat, and it covers your ears!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skullchin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Race horse Pat

There was a race horse named Pat, who was one of the greatest race horses to ever live. He set records that were near impossible to beat. After a long time of racing, he retired to an old stable with some old friends. They were very happy that he retired there to stay with him, and congratulated him on all of his records that he set.

Once Pat retired, he started keeping track of all the up and coming horses that were winning a lot. There was a race horse named Charlie that was doing really great and winning all his races. Pat saw this horse and watched him race. Charlie started to break all of Pat’s records and Pat was a little upset with this.

After a while, Charlie decided to retire after an extremely successful career in racing. By chance, Charlie decided to retire at the same stable that Pat retired in. When Charlie entered the stable, everyone went up to him to congratulate him on his records and wins. Pat went up to Charlie and said, β€œHey Charlie congratulations on all of your wins! You broke a lot of my records and I was very impressed.” Charlie responds, β€œgo away old man, I’m better than you ever were.” Pat was blown away by his response. He galloped away from Charlie with defeat.

After a while of thinking, Pat decides to challenge Charlie to a race. Charlie agreed to it and wanted to race right away. He said β€œWe will race to the tree over there and turn around and come back and whoever gets there first will be the winner.” Pat was still healthy but he needed a few weeks to get his legs back into shape for the race. Charlie gives Pat 2 weeks to get ready.

After 2 weeks pass, they are ready to race. β€œHey Pat, before we race I want to warn you that I win my races by passing them by the end. So don’t get all cocky and think you are going to win.” Charlie says. Pat thanks him for the warning and they start getting set to race.

The gun sounds and they are off to race. Pat starts out in front, and nears the finish. Out of know where, Charlie zooms ahead of Pat and wins the race.

Pat was very disappointed in his loss, but congratulated Charlie anyways. A dog comes up to them and says, β€œWow, that was a fantastic race! Neither of you should be upset with that. You both were so great!” Charlie looks to Pat and Pat looks to Charlie. They are astonished. Charlie says, β€œSay that again! Say it again!” The dog says a little confused, β€œWell I just said that you both were so great out there.” Pat says, β€œCharlie! It’s a talking dog!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnappyOrange69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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A cow gave me fantastic life advice

The cow told me to live in the moo-ment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Victhemag
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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When i was 5 i got granted a wish...

It was either to have an enormous penis or a fantastic memory, if only I could recall my response

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mex5150
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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When someone drinks alcohol, people call the alcoholic, when someone drinks Fanta, no one calls them fantastic.

This isn't my joke, I just thought it deserves to be on r/puns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vVeemo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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Two wifi engineers got married.

Their reception was fantastic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/behrkon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mak_101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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It was raining this morning and my wife had to drive right past where I work, so I said 'Will you give me a lift?'

She said 'Have you lost weight? Nice shirt, by the way, and your hair looks fantastic.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.

It would be my Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/welltechnically7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Dad Joked by daughter

I had to go to court and was wearing a suit and tie. My 10 year old daughter thought this was fantastic for dress up was very interested. I took this as a teachable moment and wanted to tell her about showing respect for your personal appearance and showing up professionally. So I asked her, do you know why I dressed like this? She said to be professional. I said I want to show that I respect myself and I have respect for the court so I dressed accordingly. She laughed and said, "You mean you dressed acourtingly."

tl;dr

Daughter dad joked me about wearing a suit about dressing accourtingly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notactjack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Ben was at home looking for his super fantastic amazingly cool dad

When it was clear his dad wasn't in sitting, he went to the window and saw his dad...

Was outstanding

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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A fantastic jokΓ©

Mum says to her loving husband: Am i the only one you’ve ever been with Loving Husband: Of course darling. The others were all nines and tens!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Astronomix_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?

The ceremony wasn’t bad, but the reception was fantastic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rv0827
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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My dad just told me this one: Two WiFi engineer friends of mine just got married.

The wedding was ok, but the reception was fantastic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StefanE30325i
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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How did the candle give such a fantastic answer?

It was ENLIGHTENED

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πŸ‘€︎ u/povdov
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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In the movie Armageddon, they should've sent the Fantastic Four to the asteroid.

The Thing is made of rocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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What do dogs do when they need to take a break from playing with each other?

They press paws.

(My kids gave this joke zero stars but my dogs think it’s fantastic)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Most animals are great at telling stories,

They usually have fantastic tales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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β€œDad, how do we make orange juice from the concentrate?” -5yo

β€œWe use 3 cans of water to distract it.”

β€œWhat?”

β€œYa it should lose focus soon enough.”

the eye rolls from my partner were fantastic.

This happened tonight. We were talking about β€œconcentrate” because they read me silly jokes from their school milk cartons like β€œwhy does X stare at the can of OJ? Because it says β€˜concentrate’.” So we were talking about what the word meant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8bagels
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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I had to bring a smashed boomerang back to Walmart yesterday.

Fantastic returns policy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I had a boiled egg for breakfast, and then had a fantastic day.

I think it was a good ovum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Have you heard the dog’s new album?

It’s fantastic! Although sadly it’s just a bunch of ruff cuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Dad, I feel fat and ugly... Give me a compliment...

Dad: You have good eyesight !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Forkos34
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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What do you call an award show for cows? The COWARDS

I know it’s bad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marl25flow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Which Pixar movie will Rick Astley never lend you?

He's never gonna give you Up

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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I was playing poker with my infant son, when I told him...

... I'll raise you

PS: Happy Mother's Day.... Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MichaelRM
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Saw Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them...

Had fantastic seats. We were assigned them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/businessmantis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2016
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Not-So-Fantastic Four
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeego123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2015
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What is a frustrated mother’s favorite month?

I SAID NO-vember.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zjh31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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