It's hard to believe that my wife has stood faithfully beside me for 32 years...
We should REALLY buy another chair.
My daughter's cat is named Faith
I told her every time she feeds her, the cat becomes loyal. She becomes Faith full.
If Tim McGraw and Faith Hill had hyphenated their last names...
They would have had a textbook marriage.
I lost my faith today after finding a bee in my bed
It scared the bejesus out of me
If you’re going to tell a frog joke…
… you’ve really got to Kermit.
Are rams considered romantic?
Well, they care about ewe, only ewe.
If the mantis are always praying, what is their faith?
Depends, they're all in sects
Went to a faith healer group last night.
It was so shit, even the guy in the wheelchair walked out.
I went to “Cheap Trick” for advice in a duel but I don’t think they had faith in me, their only advice was for me to…
Saw an ad on a jobsite seeking individuals to go to remote areas to promote their faith.
It was a missionary position.
TIL that protons have mass!
Heck, I didn't even know they were Catholic!
They say faith can move mountains
...but it seems Will can only slap a Rock.
Which animal is least faithful to its spouse
I never did well in school
I failed math so many times I can't count.
Why was palpatine disappointed when he looked in the mirror?
Bruce Lee once noticed that the grass in his garden was wet, even though he hadn’t watered it, and it hadn’t rained recently.
And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What did Santa say before leaving his son?
He was off to get some cookies and milk
how many girlfriends do priests have?
Bad news, Christmas carolers! Turns out one of our most sacred songs was communist propaganda all along, a hymn to nothing less than Karl Marx’s “The Communist Manifesto”!
Now don’t you feel bad for singing “O Commie, Commie Manual” all those years?
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
I was told that faith comes from within
So I've been eating nothing but tree branches. I told my pastor about this.
He said "That'd just leave you stuffed with plant matter, wood in it?"
"Some," I replied. "But I really feel it in my gut - most of it now be leaves."
What did Mike Tyson say after working out with Chris Hemsworth?
You're gonna be Thor in the morning.
Why is carrot more faithful than hummus?
The carrot sticks but the hummus dips.
I strongly considered joining the muslin faith until I realized the entire thing was a fabrication.
What is the most faithful fruit?
I got thrown out of church for claiming Jesus spoke with a lisp
It was a real slap in the faith.
They told me a construction specialist to work as IT support
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
I need someone to appreciate this since my 7 year old groaned at me
We were eating crepes for dinner and discussing global domination plans.
My son says “My next evil plan is to build a crepe gun, so it turns everything into crepes.”
Without missing a beat I said “Well, that sounds like a recipe for disaster.”
Why is Dwayne Johnson's head revered by the Muslim faith?
Because it's the Dome of the Rock.
I heard that Kayne West was an atheist
Bono is terrible at scavenger hunts…
He STILL hasn’t found what he’s looking for
There’s like 2 people here who get this, but I put my faith in programmers
I tried shipping a Bon Jovi album to my cousin for Christmas but it hasn’t been delivered
The tracking report keeps saying “oh, it’s halfway there”
A French guy started a charitable foundation that symbolizes the coexistence between faiths; combining "Red Cross" and "Red Crescent". What did he call it?
I have a patient suffering from constipation who lives at 221B Baker Street
Jet Engine Fueled by the Faith of Christ
THE POWER OF CHRIST PROPELS YOU
After 10 years of faithful service, my Japanese printer finally died on me yesterday.
It was like a Brother to me.
My girlfriend named Hope broke up with me
If the mantis is always praying, what is their faith?
It depends…they are all in sects.
If Praying Mantis' are always praying, what is their faith?
It varies. They are all in sects.
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