Fairy Bones Puns

Jade is a powerful material. It has the ability to store vast and trembling masses of energy. Up until the point of its very atomic structure falling away. The results of such an event like atomic saturation, well its not exactly what one would think.

Lets start with the basics, that way you too can understand the gravity of these kinds of events. We all know the Fey, their part of the greater Mul'Ach. Or as humans would say the greater sphere of power. The Fey where the first to master the powers left by the gods. They grew with it and as a result became nigh immortal. It was of such importance and in such abundance that they merged into it once more. They gave part of their souls to the void of power. They control it as any would their breathing. They cast spells with little more than a whim or thought. However this contract to the powers of the arcane has a downside.

The Fey, this includes elves, pixies, fairies, Swumps and even some trolls, they all suffer and benefit from the contract. In the case of pixies they are unseen and weak individually. However they gain power in groups and have abilities beyond the normal. They cannot however cast spells. They merely are semi-sentient and swarming beasts. The bone pixies are a great example of this. You can use them in creative ways like one would own a dog. However know they can turn upon you.

Elves are sentient and on average 6ft tall with slender builds, they gained immortality from age however they are frail physically. A strong enough blow could simply destroy them in Melee. However elves have the greatest affinity of spellcraft, some can even mold metals with their bare hands, grow swaths of forest overnight, turn barren deserts into lush forests. Some are even so powerful they can actually forge Spirit stone and use the holy metal Barragone. (a rust colored ore that once forged becomes silver like and shines with a blessed radiance). This metal is seen as the blood of our collective god when he/she made all life. That blood gave us life. And the remains of it hardened into the most powerful and holy metal.

Trolls are... Well everything to be despised. They simply are beasts of burden at best or at worst pack predators that devour entire villages and even sometimes siege cities. These foul, abominable, undesirable creatures are truly horrid. They scour the earth and scry into the mind using fear to induce panic. These monsters are never to be trusted even though they are sentient. They are and al

I settled nervously into bed, my left arm propped up on a pillow. A hot pink cast encased it up to my elbow.

"But mom, what about the... you know, the bone fairy?" I asked as she reached for the light switch. She sighed. I had always been a nervous child, anxious about the smallest of things.

"Remember when you woke up and caught me putting money under your pillow for your tooth and we finally told you that the tooth fairy doesn't exist? The bone fairy doesn't exist. It's made up. People used to tell kids that the bone fairy would come and eat their bones if they got broken to make kids be careful because they couldn't fix bones easily back then. You'll be fine, I promise." With that, she flipped off the light and shut the door, drowning me in darkness. My anxiety eased by my trust in my mother, I quickly drifted off to sleep.

Some time later, minutes or hours, I'm not sure, I woke, heart pounding. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe, a heavy weight on my chest, pinning me to the bed. My eyes were strangely adjusted to the dark and I stared, unable to pull my gaze away from the small rotund figure squatting on my chest.

It was about the size of a small child though absurdly fat, almost comically round. It's pale, pale skin glistened faintly seeming to glow with its own dim light. Small, crooked, dragonfly like wings beat madly on its back, buzzing incessantly over the sharp staccato of my heart like a hive of angry bees. They looked incapable of carrying the creature they were attached to, comically small and delicate in contrast. Its eyes were eerie, flat silvery discs peering down at me in the darkness.

It smiled at me as if suddenly aware of my consciousness and it's mouth dominated it's small round face, rows of sharp, jagged teeth, stained dark and dripping with saliva peeked from behind it's thick cracked lips.

I couldn't even scream as it raised my cast shrouded arm and bit down, the heavy, meaty crack and crunch of my fingers nauseating as it slowly ate them and my arm over the next several hours.

I'm not sure when I finally passed out but when I woke, all I had left was a large silver coin and a badly scarred stump where my arm should have been.

I'm in therapy now. They tell me that it's not healthy to make up crazy stories about my missing arm and that I need to come to terms with it. I lost it when I was a baby, they say. They say it had to be amputated when I was born because of some birth defect. They don't remember my arm

The concept of bone fairies as a play on tooth fairies is not an original meme, but now that the Fairy race is officially out, I don't want to just let memes be dreams. I have a potential Strahd campaign coming up, and knowing very little about the module, I have a few character concepts floating around in my head, one of them being finally fulfilling my dream of finally playing a bone fairy. A fairy that collects all sorts of bones, for... some reason. Perhaps they have some plan for the bones. Perhaps they are a servant for an overarching bone archfey. Perhaps bones hold some sort of significance or power. I can imagine many reasons.

I imagine the character to be both spooky and mischievous, with a childish presence. However, I'm having trouble picking out a good class/subclass (or multiclass) for the vision. Build-wise, I think it'd be nice to have stealth and intimidation. I like builds that offer a lot of choices and strategic versatility. I get bored just hitting things over and over again. We'll be starting at level 1 with death house, and I've been told that at most we'd end up at level 9 or 10ish, so I should disregard builds that come online late for this campaign, though if you have cool thematic build ideas that do come online late, I'd still love to hear about them for research purposes.

So I ask you, dear build enthusiasts, what does a bone fairy build look like to you?

Everyone has heard of the ‘Tooth Fairy’. Whenever you would lose a tooth when you were younger and so you would place it under your pillow and eagerly await the dollar you would find under your pillow the next morning, only to be disappointed that when you found out that the Tooth Fairy gave your rich friend more money than you. But at least the tooth fairy works on the system of give and take. She takes your lost tooth and in exchange she gives you some money. The Bone Fairy doesn’t work like this, however. The Bone Fairy just takes.

Like you, I had never heard of the Bone Fairy until a few weeks ago. My six-year-old daughter, Lily, first mentioned the fairy when she came home from school one day.

“Dad is it true that I will soon lose my baby bones?”, she asked me, her eyes filled with worry.

“What do you mean your baby bones”, I replied, unsure of what she meant.

“Well, its just that Rebecca at school was telling me about the Bone Fairy. She said that it comes to visit you while you are asleep, and it takes your bones home with them. So, I know that the Tooth Fairy takes my baby teeth, so the Bone Fairy must take my baby bones”

I had never heard about the Bone Fairy before so my first thought was that it was something that Rebecca must have made up or something that she had heard from someone else. So, I reassured Lily that the Bone Fairy won’t visit her and take any of her bones. I also explained to her that there aren’t any ‘baby bones’, but the bones you are born with are the same ones that you will always have. This seemed to comfort her, and I saw the worry begin to leave her eyes as she began to understand that she would be safe from the Bone Fairy.

The rest of the night continued as normal. My wife, Lily and I all ate dinner together, we watched a little bit of television and before long it was time for Lily to go to bed. I helped her get ready and then read a short bedtime story and then it was time to turn the lights out. Just as I turned the light off and darkness took over the bedroom, I heard Lily’s small voice say to me,

“Dad, if the Bone Fairy does come, you will protect me won’t you” she said to me.

I couldn’t see her that well but I could just tell by her voice that she was still a bit afraid and so she needed some comfort and reassurance from me.

“Of course, darling”, I replied, “I will protect you from everything that you are scared of”.

I bent down and gave her a small kiss on the forehead, told her that I l

Hey everyone, looking to trade/sell some books that I have. Prices don't include shipping. Due to past events, I will not trade with anyone who has less than 3 trades on this sub or an account that's less than 1 month old.

Prices are obo

EDIT: FORGOT TO LIST EVERYTHING THAT WAS AVAILABLE. ANYTHING IN THE PHOTO IS AVAILABLE AND FOR SALE UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED.

also looking for the following volumes, and would be willing to trade for them.

After wading through the swampland for what felt like hours (thank god I got lost in darkroot and ended up with a lot of purple moss) I beat the spider witch.

Afterwards I made my way up to firelink but noticed the bonfire was gone, this really worried me because the last bonfire I saw was next to the nice spider that taught me pyromancy.

I made it to the blacksmith fortunately and I was not prepared for what lied ahead. I somehow got through Sen’s fortress only dying 3 times (last section with boss not included) and found wizard man locked in a cage.

I fought with the iron golem but kept getting groped and yeeted off the arena until I eventually beat and nearly died of a heart attack when the bone fairies kidnapped me.

The view of Anor Londo was breathtaking but I felt intimidated by the guards so I tried exploring elsewhere first.

This led me to the catacombs. I fortunately had a divine morning star but the area was still a maze to navigate. I especially hated the beyblades, screw those guys.

I fought pinwheel man and was pleasantly surprised at how little health he had. After beating him I retreated to the bonfire to spend my souls but then returned to check the next area.

I tried to use the skull lamp but it didn’t work (I later realized it was because is was in my right hand) so I blindly navigated into the tomb of giants before being kicked of a cliff by an asshole and getting smothered by fat clerics and bone towers.

I gave up and headed back to Anor Londo where I got eaten by a mimic chest. I went through the painting museum and realigned the bridge.

I was about to go say hi to the bone fairies but then a blood stain apparition warned me that they were not friendly. After having a laugh at how they run towards you like a newborn learning to walk, I killed them and made my way to the “bridge” (archway).

I fortunately noticed the bowmen before going up and tested a few things like if I could block them or if I could dodge. Turns out they have bloody homing arrows.

I somehow got to the top and killed one of the archers first try but the second one just pushed me off the side. I returned to finish the job only to notice the respawn. I tried once more but after being thrown of the ledge again I called it a night.

I really don’t like the lawn dart men

Taken from this post here

I settled nervously into bed, my left arm propped up on a pillow. A hot pink cast encased it up to my elbow.

"But mom, what about the... you know, the bone fairy?" I asked as she reached for the light switch. She sighed. I had always been a nervous child, anxious about the smallest of things.

"Remember when you woke up and caught me putting money under your pillow for your tooth and we finally told you that the tooth fairy doesn't exist? The bone fairy doesn't exist. It's made up. People used to tell kids that the bone fairy would come and eat their bones if they got broken to make kids be careful because they couldn't fix bones easily back then. You'll be fine, I promise." With that, she flipped off the light and shut the door, drowning me in darkness. My anxiety eased by my trust in my mother, I quickly drifted off to sleep.

Some time later, minutes or hours, I'm not sure, I woke, heart pounding. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe, a heavy weight on my chest, pinning me to the bed. My eyes were strangely adjusted to the dark and I stared, unable to pull my gaze away from the small rotund figure squatting on my chest.

It was about the size of a small child though absurdly fat, almost comically round. It's pale, pale skin glistened faintly seeming to glow with its own dim light. Small, crooked, dragonfly like wings beat madly on its back, buzzing incessantly over the sharp staccato of my heart like a hive of angry bees. They looked incapable of carrying the creature they were attached to, comically small and delicate in contrast. Its eyes were eerie, flat silvery discs peering down at me in the darkness.

It smiled at me as if suddenly aware of my consciousness and it's mouth dominated it's small round face, rows of sharp, jagged teeth, stained dark and dripping with saliva peeked from behind it's thick cracked lips.

I couldn't even scream as it raised my cast shrouded arm and bit down, the heavy, meaty crack and crunch of my fingers nauseating as it slowly ate them and my arm over the next several hours.

I'm not sure when I finally passed out but when I woke, all I had left was a large silver coin and a badly scarred stump where my arm should have been.

I'm in therapy now. They tell me that it's not healthy to make up crazy stories about my missing arm and that I need to come to terms with it. I lost it when I was a baby, they say. They say it had to be amputated when I was born because of some birth defect. They don't remember my arm

Everyone has heard of the ‘Tooth Fairy’. Whenever you would lose a tooth when you were younger and so you would place it under your pillow and eagerly await the dollar you would find under your pillow the next morning, only to be disappointed that when you found out that the Tooth Fairy gave your rich friend more money than you. But at least the tooth fairy works on the system of give and take. She takes your lost tooth and in exchange she gives you some money. The Bone Fairy doesn’t work like this, however. The Bone Fairy just takes.

Like you, I had never heard of the Bone Fairy until a few weeks ago. My six-year-old daughter, Lily, first mentioned the fairy when she came home from school one day.

“Dad is it true that I will soon lose my baby bones?”, she asked me, her eyes filled with worry.

“What do you mean your baby bones”, I replied, unsure of what she meant.

“Well, its just that Rebecca at school was telling me about the Bone Fairy. She said that it comes to visit you while you are asleep, and it takes your bones home with them. So, I know that the Tooth Fairy takes my baby teeth, so the Bone Fairy must take my baby bones”

I had never heard about the Bone Fairy before so my first thought was that it was something that Rebecca must have made up or something that she had heard from someone else. So, I reassured Lily that the Bone Fairy won’t visit her and take any of her bones. I also explained to her that there aren’t any ‘baby bones’, but the bones you are born with are the same ones that you will always have. This seemed to comfort her, and I saw the worry begin to leave her eyes as she began to understand that she would be safe from the Bone Fairy.

The rest of the night continued as normal. My wife, Lily and I all ate dinner together, we watched a little bit of television and before long it was time for Lily to go to bed. I helped her get ready and then read a short bedtime story and then it was time to turn the lights out. Just as I turned the light off and darkness took over the bedroom, I heard Lily’s small voice say to me,

“Dad, if the Bone Fairy does come, you will protect me won’t you” she said to me.

I couldn’t see her that well but I could just tell by her voice that she was still a bit afraid and so she needed some comfort and reassurance from me.

“Of course, darling”, I replied, “I will protect you from everything that you are scared of”.

I bent down and gave her a small kiss on the forehead, told her that I l

Everyone has heard of the ‘Tooth Fairy’. Whenever you would lose a tooth when you were younger and so you would place it under your pillow and eagerly await the dollar you would find under your pillow the next morning, only to be disappointed that when you found out that the Tooth Fairy gave your rich friend more money than you. But at least the tooth fairy works on the system of give and take. She takes your lost tooth and in exchange she gives you some money. The Bone Fairy doesn’t work like this, however. The Bone Fairy just takes.

Like you, I had never heard of the Bone Fairy until a few weeks ago. My six-year-old daughter, Lily, first mentioned the fairy when she came home from school one day.

“Dad is it true that I will soon lose my baby bones?”, she asked me, her eyes filled with worry.

“What do you mean your baby bones”, I replied, unsure of what she meant.

“Well, its just that Rebecca at school was telling me about the Bone Fairy. She said that it comes to visit you while you are asleep, and it takes your bones home with them. So, I know that the Tooth Fairy takes my baby teeth, so the Bone Fairy must take my baby bones”

I had never heard about the Bone Fairy before so my first thought was that it was something that Rebecca must have made up or something that she had heard from someone else. So, I reassured Lily that the Bone Fairy won’t visit her and take any of her bones. I also explained to her that there aren’t any ‘baby bones’, but the bones you are born with are the same ones that you will always have. This seemed to comfort her, and I saw the worry begin to leave her eyes as she began to understand that she would be safe from the Bone Fairy.

The rest of the night continued as normal. My wife, Lily and I all ate dinner together, we watched a little bit of television and before long it was time for Lily to go to bed. I helped her get ready and then read a short bedtime story and then it was time to turn the lights out. Just as I turned the light off and darkness took over the bedroom, I heard Lily’s small voice say to me,

“Dad, if the Bone Fairy does come, you will protect me won’t you” she said to me.

I couldn’t see her that well but I could just tell by her voice that she was still a bit afraid and so she needed some comfort and reassurance from me.

“Of course, darling”, I replied, “I will protect you from everything that you are scared of”.

I bent down and gave her a small kiss on the forehead, told her that I l

Everyone has heard of the ‘Tooth Fairy’. Whenever you would lose a tooth when you were younger and so you would place it under your pillow and eagerly await the dollar you would find under your pillow the next morning, only to be disappointed that when you found out that the Tooth Fairy gave your rich friend more money than you. But at least the tooth fairy works on the system of give and take. She takes your lost tooth and in exchange she gives you some money. The Bone Fairy doesn’t work like this, however. The Bone Fairy just takes.

Like you, I had never heard of the Bone Fairy until a few weeks ago. My six-year-old daughter, Lily, first mentioned the fairy when she came home from school one day.

“Dad is it true that I will soon lose my baby bones?”, she asked me, her eyes filled with worry.

“What do you mean your baby bones”, I replied, unsure of what she meant.

“Well, its just that Rebecca at school was telling me about the Bone Fairy. She said that it comes to visit you while you are asleep, and it takes your bones home with them. So, I know that the Tooth Fairy takes my baby teeth, so the Bone Fairy must take my baby bones”

I had never heard about the Bone Fairy before so my first thought was that it was something that Rebecca must have made up or something that she had heard from someone else. So, I reassured Lily that the Bone Fairy won’t visit her and take any of her bones. I also explained to her that there aren’t any ‘baby bones’, but the bones you are born with are the same ones that you will always have. This seemed to comfort her, and I saw the worry begin to leave her eyes as she began to understand that she would be safe from the Bone Fairy.

The rest of the night continued as normal. My wife, Lily and I all ate dinner together, we watched a little bit of television and before long it was time for Lily to go to bed. I helped her get ready and then read a short bedtime story and then it was time to turn the lights out. Just as I turned the light off and darkness took over the bedroom, I heard Lily’s small voice say to me,

“Dad, if the Bone Fairy does come, you will protect me won’t you” she said to me.

I couldn’t see her that well but I could just tell by her voice that she was still a bit afraid and so she needed some comfort and reassurance from me.

“Of course, darling”, I replied, “I will protect you from everything that you are scared of”.

I bent down and gave her a small kiss on the forehead, told her that I l

Everyone has heard of the ‘Tooth Fairy’. Whenever you would lose a tooth when you were younger and so you would place it under your pillow and eagerly await the dollar you would find under your pillow the next morning, only to be disappointed that when you found out that the Tooth Fairy gave your rich friend more money than you. But at least the tooth fairy works on the system of give and take. She takes your lost tooth and in exchange she gives you some money. The Bone Fairy doesn’t work like this, however. The Bone Fairy just takes.

Like you, I had never heard of the Bone Fairy until a few weeks ago. My six-year-old daughter, Lily, first mentioned the fairy when she came home from school one day.

“Dad is it true that I will soon lose my baby bones?”, she asked me, her eyes filled with worry.

“What do you mean your baby bones”, I replied, unsure of what she meant.

“Well, its just that Rebecca at school was telling me about the Bone Fairy. She said that it comes to visit you while you are asleep, and it takes your bones home with them. So, I know that the Tooth Fairy takes my baby teeth, so the Bone Fairy must take my baby bones”

I had never heard about the Bone Fairy before so my first thought was that it was something that Rebecca must have made up or something that she had heard from someone else. So, I reassured Lily that the Bone Fairy won’t visit her and take any of her bones. I also explained to her that there aren’t any ‘baby bones’, but the bones you are born with are the same ones that you will always have. This seemed to comfort her, and I saw the worry begin to leave her eyes as she began to understand that she would be safe from the Bone Fairy.

The rest of the night continued as normal. My wife, Lily and I all ate dinner together, we watched a little bit of television and before long it was time for Lily to go to bed. I helped her get ready and then read a short bedtime story and then it was time to turn the lights out. Just as I turned the light off and darkness took over the bedroom, I heard Lily’s small voice say to me,

“Dad, if the Bone Fairy does come, you will protect me won’t you” she said to me.

I couldn’t see her that well but I could just tell by her voice that she was still a bit afraid and so she needed some comfort and reassurance from me.

“Of course, darling”, I replied, “I will protect you from everything that you are scared of”.

I bent down and gave her a small kiss on the forehead, told her that I l

Everyone has heard of the ‘Tooth Fairy’. Whenever you would lose a tooth when you were younger and so you would place it under your pillow and eagerly await the dollar you would find under your pillow the next morning, only to be disappointed that when you found out that the Tooth Fairy gave your rich friend more money than you. But at least the tooth fairy works on the system of give and take. She takes your lost tooth and in exchange she gives you some money. The Bone Fairy doesn’t work like this, however. The Bone Fairy just takes.

Like you, I had never heard of the Bone Fairy until a few weeks ago. My six-year-old daughter, Lily, first mentioned the fairy when she came home from school one day.

“Dad is it true that I will soon lose my baby bones?”, she asked me, her eyes filled with worry.

“What do you mean your baby bones”, I replied, unsure of what she meant.

“Well, its just that Rebecca at school was telling me about the Bone Fairy. She said that it comes to visit you while you are asleep, and it takes your bones home with them. So, I know that the Tooth Fairy takes my baby teeth, so the Bone Fairy must take my baby bones”

I had never heard about the Bone Fairy before so my first thought was that it was something that Rebecca must have made up or something that she had heard from someone else. So, I reassured Lily that the Bone Fairy won’t visit her and take any of her bones. I also explained to her that there aren’t any ‘baby bones’, but the bones you are born with are the same ones that you will always have. This seemed to comfort her, and I saw the worry begin to leave her eyes as she began to understand that she would be safe from the Bone Fairy.

The rest of the night continued as normal. My wife, Lily and I all ate dinner together, we watched a little bit of television and before long it was time for Lily to go to bed. I helped her get ready and then read a short bedtime story and then it was time to turn the lights out. Just as I turned the light off and darkness took over the bedroom, I heard Lily’s small voice say to me,

“Dad, if the Bone Fairy does come, you will protect me won’t you” she said to me.

I couldn’t see her that well but I could just tell by her voice that she was still a bit afraid and so she needed some comfort and reassurance from me.

“Of course, darling”, I replied, “I will protect you from everything that you are scared of”.

I bent down and gave her a small kiss on the forehead, told her that I l