Some people don't believe in evolution.

They're primate change deniers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boredboi69WR
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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I conducted a study for Steve Jobs regarding the lack of evolution in his employees.

Those are Apple Bottom Genes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremywarne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Evolution of Van
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trepach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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Candidates for the president of the Evolution Society said that the anonymous votes were fudged...

But the committee assured them it was just natural selection!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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I just watched a documentary on the evolution of skinny jeans.

I couldn’t get into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.

Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pparten
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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It’s pointless to get into an argument about the Adam and Eve creation story versus evolution.

It is comparing apples to origins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Evolution dad joke

Coworker: I don’t believe we came from monkeys

Me: then where do you think we came from?

Coworker: I don’t know I think we just came.

Me: yes, that’s generally how it happens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lilbitevil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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I read a study that divorce is a part of evolution.

Something about the single-arity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AGBalazs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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Just got around to unboxing the Pro Evolution Soccer 2018 game I got for Christmas, and the DVD was snapped.

Dad said It's a game of two halves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
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What do you call a party for scientists?

Dance Dance Evolution.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wafran
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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A PokΓ©mon pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legoking6787
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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What's Your Open Source OS Of Choice?

Q: What's Your Open Source OS Of Choice?

A: Darwin.

Q: Why?

A: It's the evolution of Unix.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gandalf239
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Fossil record...

...it's rock solid evidence of evolution.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Noah271
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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my ex-girlfriend's grandfather's funeral

I was at my ex-girlfriend's grandfather's funeral just kind of standing on the side of the room. her sister's husband walked over to me and introduced me to his father. I noticed that his tie had whales and dolphins on it and he said it was his favorite tie. I learned over to my ex and said "at least he wears that tie with a porpoise."

(needless to say, she didn't speak to me for a while)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clarkolas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
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I met a stupid Australian the other day

He didn't understand Evolution at all, in fact he claimed to be from Darwin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waspeater
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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Dad Goes Bananas

My 9th grader brother at dinner: We're learning about evolution in my Biology class. Today I learned that 50% of human DNA is the same as bananas' DNA.

Dad: Now you know why I'm always going bananas!

My 9th grader brother: -stands up, pushes in chair, leaves table-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hannyfan92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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A Pokemon joke

My brothers, discussing the new Pokemon game: "I wish they would give Flygon a mega-evolution!"

Me: "Well guys, sometimes you just gotta let Flygons be Flygons"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aptmurph
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
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I was watching How It's Made with my Dad when...

they were making rubber on the show. He said "I really wonder how rubber trees have survived evolution! It's gotta be really hard to procreate!"

Commence face-palming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MorningKnight
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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