If anyone has any idea where to find them here?
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
My boyfriend disappears with my hand churned nonna butter into the bathroom, the butter is gone when he comes out, he won't explain what he does.
TL;DR My (24 F) boyfriend (30 M) keeps disappearing into the bathroom for an hour or more with a stick of my rich hand churned butter and the butter is gone when he finally comes out.
We have been dating for 2 years and after moving out of my nonna’s historical home that she built when she was 14 in 436 AD, i moved in with him. Ever since we moved in, I have seen a new side of him. It's a very odd issue and I can't wrap my head around what to do.
At the beginning of quarantine, I started to notice my msg gochujang ethno butter that hand churn in a wok was disappearing quickly. I assumed maybe I lost track of how much we had since his kitchen was so distractingly covered in porcelain granite, or maybe he was cooking when I wasn't around which is fucking disgusting that hes touching MY authentic ingredients, I don't know (hes a terrible cook). But one night a few weeks ago I saw him try to stealthily take a stick of kerrygold hand churned nonna butter from the fridge, which I pretended not to notice in case it offended him in his practices and he took the butter with him into the bathroom. (Hes ethnic)
Now, I have noticed my boyfriend spending an hour or more of time in the bathroom since we moved in but I never saw him take the luxuriously smooth msg gochujang kerrygold ethno nonna butter before. I was so confused. When he came out of the bathroom about an hour later I saw no sign of the nonna ethno butter, but I also saw he did NOT put the nonna ethno butter back in the fridge. It was gone.
I tried to subtly keep an eye on him and over a week he did this three separate times and each time a chunk of butter disappeared from my home fired clay tupperware (Im incredibly talented and attractive.) Finally I said one day "Where did all MY authentic msg nonna butter go? I hardly used any this week and it's gone." He pretended to not know and said maybe we had forgot to buy it. I said no I slave over milking my nonna and churning the sticks.(we dont buy anything im a skillful forager.) now they are gone. He just acted like it was a mystery and said guess we should order up some groceries, as if i would go to a store and buy ingredients from other people (theyre terrible cooks).
By now I was getting very confused (which I never do because after quarantine I purchased J. Kenji Lopez Alt's The Food Lab (the first book
... keep reading on reddit ➡For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
They’re on standbi
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Hi all! I'm looking to trade some of my extra amiibo cards for ones I am missing :) I will trade for any language/region of card. PLEASE REMEMBER: AC amiibo cards are NOT region locked. All of my traders are brand new, never used. Generally I trade 1:1 Villager, 1:1 SP, and 1 SP: 2 Villager, but I can be flexible on that.
Album of cards (please let me know if you need to see any other pictures!)
Key abbreviations: [NA] = North American version; [JP] = Japanese version; [EU] = European/Australian version
HAVE:
Series 1:
- 001 [JP] Isabelle (Shizue)
- 002 [JP] Tom Nook (Tanekichi)
003 [JP] DJ K.K- 004 [JP] Sable (Asami)
- 005 [JP] Kapp'n (Kappei)
- 006 [JP] Resetti (Risetto-san)
- 007 [JP] Joan (Kaburiba)
- 008 [JP] Timmy (Mamekichi)
009 [JP] Digby (Kent/Kento)010 [JP] Pascal (Rakosuke)- 011 [JP] Harriet (Kattorina/Katolina)
012 [JP] Redd (Tsunekichi)- 013 [JP] Saharah (Roran/Rolan)
- 014 [JP] Luna (Yumemi)
- 015 [JP] Tortimer (Kotobuki)
- 016 [JP] Lyle (Onma-san)
- 017 [JP] Lottie (Takumi)
- 058 [JP] Monique (Jhen/Jane)
- 062 [JP] T-Bone (Borushichi/Borscht)
Series 2:
- 101 [JP] K.K. Slider (Totakeke)
- 102 [JP] Reese (Risa/Lisa)
- 103 [JP] Kicks (Shyanku)
- 104 [JP] Label (Keito)
105 [JP] Copper (Omawari-san A/Policeman A)106 [JP] Booker (Omawari-san B/Policeman B)- 107 [JP] Katie (Maiko-chan)
- 108 [JP] Tommy (Tsubukichi)
- 109 [JP] Porter (Ekiin-san)
- 110 [JP] Leila (Kuku)
- 111 [JP] Shrunk (Shishyo)
- 112 [JP] Don (Raketto-san)
113 [JP] Isabelle (Shizue)- 114 [JP] Blanca (Ayashii Neko)
- 115 [JP] Nat (Kameyama-san)
- 116 [JP] Chip (Uomasa)
- 117 [JP] Jack (Panpu Kingu/Pumpkin King)
- 128 [JP] Tom (Bantamu/Bantam)
- 136 [JP] Egbert (Shimoyake)
- 179 [JP] Hopper (Daruman)
- 187 [JP] Vic (Noruman/Norman)
Series 3:
- 201 [JP] Rover (Mishirame Neko)
- 203 [JP] Tom Nook (Tanekichi)
- 204 [JP] Pelly (Periko)
- 205 [JP] Phyllis (Perimi)
- 206 [JP] Pete (Perio)
- 207 [JP] Mabel (Kineyo)
- 208 [JP] Leif (Reiji)
- 209 [JP] Wendall (Seiichi)
- 211 [NA] Grams
- 211 [JP] Grams (Geko)
- 213 [JP] Digby (Kento/Kent)
- 214 [JP] Don (Raketto-san)
- 216 [JP] Franklin (Furankurin/Franklin)
- 217 [JP] Jingles (Jinguru/Jingle)
220 [NA] Tabby227 [NA] Rodeo- 231 [NA] Elvis
- 236 [NA] Freckles
- 240 [NA] Deirdre
- 254 [NA] Greta x 2
- 269 [NA
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
