Esophageal speech Puns

Anyone but me dealing with this? I have severe esophageal dysmotility (i.e. the muscles in my esophagus don't work) and am constantly dealing with food getting stuck, reflux, esophageal pain and cramping etc. Doctors seem relatively clueless about how to treat me and my quality of life is trash. So if anyone has had any success with any treatment or lifestyle change I'd love to hear about it. Or even just... coping with trying to have a life while dealing with this kinda stuff.

I went to the otolaryngologist because I’ve never been able to burp, and it’s starting to just be painful. I have the loudest gurgles, and I really just want this gone. I’d love to get the Botox procedure, and the doctor knew this, but when he took the camera to look at my upper esophageal sphincter, he said the Botox might not be an option because the tightness in my throat is just so widespread. So for now, I’ve been prescribed speech therapy to try to loosen up there. Anyone else have this happen?

Phil

Just wanted to share my experience with an initial appointment with an ENT at the Cleveland Clinic. I went in for RCPD, which he has never heard of, but he does treat dysfunction of that muscle with a botox injection. I was mostly baffled at his question of “why do you think you need to burp”..... he’s the ENT, shouldn’t he know? He seemed pretty disinterested in actually helping me and suddenly said “I’m gonna look at your throat” which I refused due to the suddenness and my emetophobia, which he also disregarded. He ordered 3 different tests, one of which is like a barium swallow (which I’ve already had done), but with the aid of a speech therapist, something else I forget the name of, and an endoscopy with GI. I feel all these tests are a bit unnecessary, although I know the primary reason is to find proof of esophageal dysfunction for insurance purposes. My mother and I are still thinking about going to Illinois but we’ve agreed on getting an endoscopy done here, in my hometown. I personally would prefer going to Chicago and getting this done by people that understand the condition and seem to actually care about their patients, but we have yet to decide that. Anyways, that’s my experience with the Cleveland Clinic ENT doctor.

Me: Hi pregnant, I'm Dad!

Wife: No you're not.

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

ANXIETY SYMPTOMS

When you want to overcome anxiety focusing on specific symptoms doesn't help. Having 20 symptoms doesn't mean you have 20 problems to focus on, you have one - ANXIETY.

So assuming you got a clean bill of health from doctors and you are in the anxiety cycle your symptoms and sensations will most likely be caused by anxiety.

So just for fun, here are the most common symptoms anxiety can cause. :) MOST COMMON, not even all of them. :)

Body Symptoms:

• Agitation anxiety symptoms

• Allergies and Anxiety; Allergy Problems, increase in allergies (number, sensitivity, reactions, lengthier reactions)

• Anxiety cough

• Anxiety Attack Symptoms and signs

• Asthma and anxiety

• Back pain, stiffness, tension, pressure, soreness, spasms, immobility in the back or back muscles

• Blanching (looking pale, loss of color in the face or skin)

• Blushing, turning red, flushed face, flushed skin, blushing, red face or skin

• Body aches, parts of or your entire body feels sore and achy, feels like your body and muscles are bruised

• Body jolts

• Body zaps

• Body shakes

• Body trembling, shaking, anxiety symptoms

• Body tremors

• Body temperature increase or decrease, change in body temperature

• Brain surges

• Brain zaps

• Burning skin, itchy, crawly, prickly or other skin sensations, skin sensitivity, numbness on the skin

• Burning skin sensation on the face, neck, ears, scalp, or shoulders

• Buzzing sensation in the feet, toes, hands, fingers, arms, legs

• Chest pain anxiety symptoms

• Chest pains anxiety symptoms

• Chest tightness feeling

• Choking

• Choking feeling in throat

• Chronic Fatigue, exhaustion, super tired, worn out

• Chronic pain and anxiety

• Clumsiness, feeling clumsy, co-ordination problems with the limbs or body

• Cold chills, feeling cold all the time

• Cold flashes, flash

• Cold hands and feet

• Craving sugar, sweets, chocolate, usual craving for sugar and sweets

• Crazy thoughts

• Difficulty speaking, moving mouth, talking, co-ordination problems with the mouth or tongue

• Dizziness, feeling lightheaded, dizzy, feeling dizzy

• Electric shock feeling, body zaps

• Electric pulsing throughout the body feeling

• Excess of energy, you feel you can't relax

• Falling dropping sensation

• Feeling faint

• Feel ill and sick, yet can't describe how you feel but that you feel ill in some way

• Feel like you are going to pass out

• Feel cold, chilly, cold all the time

• Feel wrong, odd, strange, differe

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

Well, toucan play at that game.

Argon does not react.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Japan.

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

it's Hans free now..

second hand stores!

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.