What do you call it when one German WWII soldier lies to you, then another, then two lie to you, then three tell you a lie, then five lie to you, then eight, then thirteen....
π︎ 15
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︎ May 31 2021
What did zero say to eight?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
What's the eight that can hold two asses?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 11 2021
What do you call an eight-armed Vulcan?
π︎ 21
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Went to the store to get eight cans of sprite...
When I got home, I realized Iβd only picked seven up.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.
Iβm on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
π︎ 10k
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︎ Apr 11 2021
Eight days in and this year looks like it might be as bad as last year. Possibly even worse. If it does turn out worse, well, you know what they say...
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Do you know why Santa and eight reindeer couldnβt open his vehicle?
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 24 2020
My lactose intolerant friend had some cheese at the beginning of our eight hour road trip today...
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 02 2020
A man named six gave his friends three and five some chocolate bars. Three got 7 chocolate bars and five got eight of them. Three was upset he had less than five did, and five was sad that his friend was sad, so he asked six if three could have another chocolate bar.
He gave one to three for five
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Why was Yoda afraid of 7?
π︎ 59
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︎ May 27 2021
The number "eight" starts with an E.
But if you spelled it with an A, it'd be aight.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Aug 31 2019
My wife, who's eight months pregnant, asked me if I worry that it's been too hot recently for our baby inside her. I reassured her...
βNah, itβs probably womb temperature!"
π︎ 180
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︎ Jul 14 2020
i speak eight different languages
7 of the languages is 10 out of 10 but my German is 9
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Did you hear the joke about the number eight that fell over on itβs side?
It just seems to go on forever.
π︎ 12
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Taller eight
π︎ 273
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︎ Jan 31 2020
What did one banana say to the other banana?
Nothing. Bananas don't talk!
(Freshly minted from an eight year old)
π︎ 13
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︎ May 06 2021
An avid coin collector, I had run out of money for food. What should I do? I know!
I still had my pizzas of eight!
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 02 2021
A child and his father are walking down the street when the child asks...
"Dad, what does being drunk feels like?"
"Well son, you see those four trees over there? If you were drunk, you'd see eight trees."
"Dad, there are only two trees."
π︎ 47
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︎ May 03 2021
I got an eight on my test.
I asked the teacher about my grades, and he said Iβm an eight-iot.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
My 8 year old finished eating dinner
8yo: "There, I ate!"
Me [points at 9yo]: "Good job! She nine."
8yo: π€?
9yo: "Ugh. Because I'm nine and you're eight. You ate. I nine?"
8yo: "Daaaad!"
π︎ 492
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
If I had a dollar for every gender there was, I'd have eight
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 15 2020
Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?
π︎ 20
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︎ Feb 19 2020
Say this out loud to someone else, mind the emphasis...
There are 30 cows. Twenty eight chickens. How many didn't?
Answer: 10
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 22 2021
Don't hate taller eight.
π︎ 23
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Why shouldnβt you drink eight cokes?
>!Because you can throw seven up.!<
>!Credit to my wife, so /r/momjokes. She just told me this laughed more than I should have.!<
π︎ 2
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︎ May 21 2020
I needed a password eight characters long.
So I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
π︎ 15
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︎ Nov 13 2019
When I met my childhood bully last Friday, I was happy to learn he had double vision, because he always bullied me with my glasses. But then...
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 13 2021
I met a man who owned cheese that had been in his family for eight generations.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 25 2019
A chicken walks into a library...
...and walks up to the librarianβs desk.
βBukβ says the chicken.
The Liberian gives him a book. The chicken returns after a few minutes later.
βBukβ says the chicken again.
The librarian gives him another book. This goes on about eight more times. Finally, the librarian follows the chicken outside and sees the chicken standing next to a pond. The chicken is throwing the books at a frog on a lily pad.
The chicken says, βbuk, bukβ
The frog says, βReddit, Redditβ
π︎ 29
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︎ Mar 16 2021
If you need to keep warm just make fun of yourself 8 times...
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 20 2021
OMG, I can't believe Trump wanted Turkey to reveal it's tactics for capturing eight-legged, two-tentacled sea creatures!!!
He tried to do it squid pro quo.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 14 2019
What did the zero say to the eight?
π︎ 130
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︎ Feb 07 2021
What did Zero say to Eight?
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 07 2021
What did the zero say to the eight?
π︎ 34
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︎ Sep 18 2020
Why is yoda afraid of 7?
Because six, seven eight.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
What did the zero say to the eight?
π︎ 34
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︎ Sep 06 2020
What did the zero say to the eight?
π︎ 27
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︎ Jun 30 2020
I just went to the shop to pick up eight cans of Sprite,
But when I got home I realised Iβd only picked 7Up.
π︎ 31
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︎ Jun 03 2020
What did zero say to eight?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 20 2020
What did the zero tell the eight?
π︎ 22
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︎ Mar 13 2020
What did zero say to the eight?
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 14 2020
I went to the store to get eight cans of sprite...
But when I got back home I realized I had only picked seven up
π︎ 758
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︎ May 20 2019
What did the number Zero say to number Eight?
π︎ 26
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︎ Dec 04 2019
What does the zero tell to the eight?
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 03 2019
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