Holiday Eating Puns

Did you know there is a religious holiday in April for people who eat hot food straight out of the oven?

It's called "Rahashashafashafahhgina".

The nurse asked him "You've been fasting, right?" To which he replied: "I've been going pretty slowly, actually."

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

Eating steak

"This is the best steak I've had all day!"

End of my birthday

"This was the best birthday you've had all year!"

Any day of the week

"This was the best Sunday/Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday/Friday/Saturday I've had all week!"

Along with the New Years jokes and other various annual holidays.

Everytime we drive up north for the Holidays we pass by the same shop to get something to eat.

>Dad: "Oi buz, you want a piecost?"

>Me: "What's a piecost?"

>Dad: "About $4.50"

Christmas dinner, my dad is playing older holiday music in the background while we eat. Elvis comes on and my dad says he'd pay big money to see them live. I looked at him and said "I dunno dad. I'd probably just pay regular sized money."

So I've only known my biological father for a few years. We hardly see each other except on holidays because of his work schedule, my work and college schedule, and distance. So today, he decided to visit me all afternoon and take me out to dinner. Before we left, he sat in the living room and we chatted.

Dad: "Well, young'in, I think I'm ready to eat."

Me: "Yeah, me too, I've been hungry for a while."

Dad: "Oh, really? I hadn't realized you changed your name."

Groan

it's my first day back home for the holidays and my 12 year-old sister has invited her friends for a sleepover
she asked my dad to bring some edamame to her room
five minutes later i hear: girls are you ready to eat your mommy?!?!
i feel for you sister. brings me back to....every time i had friends over.