Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad Me: I'm a faux pas
Donut ask me....
But he does think an asset is a little donkey.
Fortunately I belong to 1% of smart people
Like bro you were there!
But that'd just be random
Someone told them the drinks were on the house
I think I'll break it in by making a castlerole.
I wrote my name in wet cement, but I was stupid and I wrote my first and my last name, now they've got my name, they've got my fingerprints its pretty concrete evidence...
A mooook.
Cents
You're supposed to run until you can't anymore or something like that...? I was thinking of trying one out but honestly I don't know how good I'd do I'm an awful runner...
My friend Tyrell tried one last year and said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done...
I still can't believe Tyrannosaurus
Dad jokes.
He picked up a wheel and spoke
Nobody could have predicted what was to come. Know one had 2020 vision
Closets aren't even a race!
βWhat is it?β
βJust guess.β
βI donβt know.β
βA joke.β
Too blondes walk into a bar...
He was an oxymoron.
An airhead
power = work / time
but...
knowledge = power
and
time = money
so, substituting...
knowledge = work / money
solving for money...
money = work / knowledge
The less you know, the more money you make, regardless of how much work you do.
Iβve seen him twice this past week personally
Theyβre from.... GREECE( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
Comic sands
She ticks all the boxes
It didn't help.
- me
That would make him a weight.
The dumb one doesn't count.
My wife immediately screamed at me "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO HER!?"
I replied, "You were sad how big she was getting, so I was trying to belittle her."
